Spit ‘em, polish, look how they shine/Glitter, glisten, gloss, floss/I catch a beat runnin like Randy Moss

Suckage. To the maximus.
Now our team is heading to New York with a low self-esteem. After reading through my Twitter feed yesterday and seeing the Twins fans reactions it sealed the deal. I won’t be going to the Tweet-up event on Saturday. I don’t need to be in a bar surrounded by naysayers and the bitching in person. It’s hard enough dealing with the tweets. No thanks. I can go to Matt’s Bar and have a Jucy Lucy and Honeyweiss and enjoy the atmosphere better there.

Go ahead, try and convince me otherwise but after my previous experiences I have decided to spend my time with positive (albeit snarky) people.

Hi. My name is Jen and I am a list maker.

Hi Jen!

Pros
* Watching extra baseball at Target Field (my Disney Land)
* Drinking enough beer to get a collection of souvenir playoff cups
* Having amazing seats for last night’s game
* Hanging with approximately 84,000 of my closest friends the last two nights
* Looking around the sold out ballpark and seeing camera flashes against the night sky
* Helmet Sundaes
* The pantomime street performer painted silver shushing the bible thumper on a milk crate
* Hanging with @baseballhappy and amusing ourselves

Cons
*Looking like the Detroit Tigers circa 2003 on National television
* Letting this year's Yankees beat us. And yes, I said “letting” and yes I said “this year’s” team.
* Dealing with Yankee fans here in Minnesota.
* Listening to the anti-Twins fans around town. An Anti-Twins Fan is someone local who doesn’t care about baseball therefore doesn’t like the Twins. These people are the first to say “I Told You So.”
* Sarah (@baseballhappy) said it best in her post this morning, “…but as a Twins fan, I was a lot more offended by the headline on the Twins twitter feed ready “Current Trend a Testament to Yankees” than I was by the “EZ Pass” NY Daily News Headline.”
* Losing
* Losing
* Not enough sprinkles on my helmet sundae
* Missing Modern Family and The Office

Non-Baseball Pros and Cons
Pros
* I can add the “And here is where Randy Moss ran over the traffic cop and got busted for pot” stop on my office tour.
* It’s Friday
* Only 3 days until Monday Night Happy Hour
* The weather is perfect in Minneapolis
* I heart David Cook

Cons
* Michelle Bachmann still exists in Minnesota Government
* I am hungry
* My cat’s breath smells like cat food (Simpson’s reference)

Music of the Day – Randy Moss Edition
Outkast – Whole World

There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do/I bless the rains down in Africa

Game 1 of the ALDS playoffs Twins vs Yankees
Yeah, we lost. Yeah, it sucked. But…it was a fun game, a great night, awesome crowd, tasty Grainbelt Premium, kickass company (thanks @baseballhappy), and our usually funny shenanigans. Oh, and I think it’s official that our at-bat/walk-up music would be Toto’s Africa (hence the music of the day).

Pissing on my Parade - A brief vent about Twins fans/tweeters
Nothing like coming home from an intense loss and looking through a pile of shit on my twitter feed. I am a little embarrassed about the whining and bitching some twins fans are displaying right now.

To offset what I had been hearing:
The energy at Target Field was amazing! People where chatty and high-fiving and jeering and cheering! Our sections (306 and the surrounding ones) didn’t stand the whole game but we all jumped to our feet for strikeouts, hits, great catches, and well…practically everything. For the record we weren’t lack luster. It wasn’t dull. We weren’t pouty. We were fired up! Damn it. I understand that some people (or maybe one person with many media outlets) were asked to sit down/leave. I totally think that is ridiculous…to be asked to sit down during a ball game is like being told to sit down during a U2 concert…or Tom Petty…or Bruce Springsteen…or Lady Gaga…or David Cook. Alas, I don’t want that to be the bitchy thing that gets leaked around everywhere.

That being said…that game was an amazing experience! I always have a great time with @baseballhappy is in attendance. We sing Toto, we boo Swisher, we talk about how much we love the Pittsburgh Pirates, and we amuse ourselves.

Music of the Day – Toto Africa

Yesterday is history, tomorrow may not come/I’m gonna run to the horizon/We are strong/We are young.

(1500ESPN's ad is awesome!)

I say Brrr, it’s cold in here. There must be some Yankees in the atmosphere
Okay, not very original but that Bring It On cheer has been stuck in my head since Sunday when @baseballhappy and I were chanting it. (We also discussed that the original Bring It On is the best but some of the other ones aren’t that bad.)

Anyways…I am as prepared, physically, as I can be for the chilly night game tomorrow. I have a hooded sweatshirt, red fleece blanket, half of a crocheted blue and red scarf (I will finish the other half tonight), fingerless gloves, and faux-uggs (or Fuggs). Overkill? Nope, I don’t think so. My only regret is not getting the blue fleece blanket. My vanity usually steers me away from all things red (due to my red hair and the fear I will end up looking like Tickle Me Elmo or something) but I did not want anyone to confuse my blue blanket to be Yankee Blue. So…red it is.

ESPN’s E:60 Visits Minnesota Twins on Eve of MLB Playoffs

ESPN's Emmy award-winning primetime newsmagazine E:60 will visit the Minnesota Twins on the eve of Major League Baseball’s playoffs in the episode airing Tuesday, Oct. 5, at 7 p.m. ET.

E:60 spoke with manager Ron Gardenhire and several Twins players including Michael Cuddyer and Nick Punto. The American League Central champions open the playoffs Wednesday against the New York Yankees.

Launched in October 2007, ESPN’s E:60 combines investigative reporting, in-depth profiles of intriguing sports personalities and features on emerging star athletes. These stories are presented in a fresh and innovative format that incorporates producer/correspondent meetings.

Don’t be that douchebag…
Don’t be that douchebag that wears a business dress shirt with pleated khakis drinking rum and cokes whilst talking about how much you know about baseball. I am pretty sure that the eye you’re using to calling balls and strikes from section 307 (first base side) isn’t as accurate as the umpire. Also, shouting “Come on, Blue!” after every strikeout makes my eye twitch.

Music of the Day – FSN North watchers will recognize this song
Ryan Star’s song Right Now has been used for the game recap towards the end of every Twins game aired on FSN North. I always get so excited about it because I love that guy. He may be the nicest rockstar in the business and puts on a hell of a live show. Check out his new album 11:59 (What’s Your 11:59?) now out on iTunes and stores (like Target and Best Buy).

Ryan Star – Right Now

I show no scars from where I’ve been / Just two jaded eyes, I guess you win

FREE WALLY

Sarah (@baseballhappy) and I rocked these tshirts yesterday!

Statistically they are speaking the truth, blah blah blah. However, hometown pride makes me bristle at this kind of headline/article. I am not sure who is worse right now…Yankees bloggers/tweeters or Twins bloggers/tweeters.

First Last Game (copyright @baseballhappy)
Yesterday Sarah (Those Girls & @baseballhappy) and I went to the first last game of the season. (Also known as the last regular season game.) The weather was beautiful UNLESS you were in the shade…then it was DAMNED cold. Now I need to prep for the chilly night game on Wednesday.

Shopping list: Mittens, Twins Snuggie, Tiny bottles of Baileys Irish Cream, Twins crocheted scarf (in process), and a great sense of humor.

Don’t be that douchebag…
I am starting a new reoccurring topic here on Lipgloss & Baseball. This where I can call out those people…you know, THOSE ones.

So, to the guy who was throwing stuff on the field yesterday (near McCoy):
Don’t be that douchebag that ruins it for a stadium full of people who are rejoicing the fact they get to start keeping their bottle caps again!

Music of the Day
The band Midwest Kings (MWK) is one of my favorites. I found them through a very hap-hazard way but am now a fan. I even roadtripped down to Tulsa, Oklahoma to catch one of their first shows on stage after a couple-year pause.

Call to Arms – MWK

Keep your words, they’re all you got / Please be careful what you say

This post includes: me bitching about whiny fans/bloggesr/tweeters, photo-shopped sign I made on my iPod whilst riding the Ghetto #5 bus, preparation for the last regular season game at Target Field, and a song that is always stuck in my head (and I don’t mind).

This weekend was going to be my bittersweet goodbye to my new love, Target Field. BUT thanks to the Minnesota Twins clinching the playoffs I will be back for at least two more (and hopefully a dozen more) games! I think I’d like to spend all of October at Target Field…watching baseball, wearing my hoodie, drinking coffee (with Bailey’s). Yep. I think I would. However, to keep the tradition alive, I will be there on Sunday to say goodbye to the regular season along with Sarah (of Those Girls & @baseballhappy).

Scene
Me walking to Target Field in my Twins hooded sweatshirt with homer hankie sticking out of my back pocket a la Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA video. Everything is in slow motion and cue voice over:

Wow. What happened to Minnesota-nice? What about Minnesota Passive-Aggressive? Sure, I was lucky enough to score tickets to Games 1, 2, and 3 of the first round of playoffs and a set for the second round. Alas, my happy buzz was killed by Twitter and Twins Fans. Not all Twins fans…just the ones who I usually avoid.

* Yes, the tickets are expensive.
* Yes, the lottery system is a bitch. Trust me. I got shut out of Home Opener tickets.
* No, not only ticket scalpers and band wagon fans got the tickets. I am neither of those.
* No, I didn’t cheat the system. I used the standard process that everyone else used.
* Yes, I am going to the games.

So…stop pissing on my parade!

/end scene

Mike Kelly & Andy Skib – Taking the Blame
Mike Kelly’s new CD “Wake the Dead” has been on heavy rotation on my iPod. I recommend it. Fully!