There’s no place like home/With your family around you you’re never alone

Bert Blyleven is the Susan Lucci of MLB Hall of Fame
Well, Circle Me Bert did not make it into the HOF this year. Now…the people that did get voted in are very deserving…that’s not being questioned here. If you are a member of the committee and you did not vote (there are 5 of you, ‘fess up!) then shame on you. Now, maybe Bert wasn’t the best or most popular out of the nominees but there’s no doubt he does deserve a spot in the HOF and just like Susan Lucci finally got her Emmy so will Bert get his plaque.



Season Tickets have been purchased
Alas, it’s only a 20 game plan but that’s plenty for me. You see, I have commitment issues…plain and simple. It all happened so fast! I got the cheap seats but at this point I just want IN the stadium! I found that my seats are homage to my beloved section 227…they are in section 307. There’s a 7, see? Lucky 7. It’s like Jackee will rise again in my baseball world of insanity!

The best part…the first game on my package is the first night game in the new stadium. It is going to be MAGICAL! Me thinks I need to buy the Twins faux-snuggie now. Nothing like logo fleece blankets with giant sleeves to hide the Baileys bottle as I pour it into a cup of piping hot coffee. Man, I am gonna LOVE outdoor baseball!

227 Theme Song – There’s No Place Like Home

GRAND REOPENING OF LIPGLOSS & BASEBALL!

GRAND REOPENING OF LIPGLOSS & BASEBALL!

You say goodbye and I say hello…

Goodbye..

• Metrodome. Now that you are solely used by the Minnesota Vikings you have received a few new banners outside and a new name: The Mall Of America Field at Humbert H. Humphrey Metrdome. (That’s a mouthful, yo!) I will be waxing poetic about my love (and some hate) of the Metrdome in a separate post.

• To a few players we had grown to love. Including one Mr. Boof Bonser. I don’t think there was anyone more sad or a bigger fan of Boooof than Sarah (of Oh, It’s Those Girls ) and she summed up the news pretty emotionally/hilariously in the following entries: No Joy in Mudville, Day 2 of Booflessness, Booflessness Day 3 and 3.1

• Section 227! This is what I am most sad about. No more season tickets. No more section 227. No more of me saying 227 in a funny Jackee voice from the popular 70’s sitcom. No more cosby sweater dude in row 3. No more giant headphones man in row 1. No more Too Much PDA couple in row 2. Goodbye 227. I knew you well.

Hello…

• 2009 MVP Joe “Baby Jesus” Mauer

• Target Field and all the buzz of excitement.

• Opening day? I am putting a question mark after that because it is pretty much guaranteed that non-season ticket holder, non-connected, non-corporate sponsored fans will get a shot at home opener tickets. I could rant for DAYS over that but I will digress until it is a confirmed thing. Ha!
• 2010

This year brings a lot of excitement (over the new stadium), chanting (MVP! MVP!), travel (baseball trips on the calendar), sunblock, bar stools (to sit on in bars next to the stadium to watch the games), frusterations (small salaries, trades, bad weather), joy, “This is a perfect day for baseball”, skipping work for games, traffic, confusion, commuting, pride, airplanes (Pittsburgh, yo!), fangirling, eye rolling, snarling, clapping, singing, mocking, and…well, baseball.

Here’s to hoping that Brendan Harris still walks up to Warrant’s Cherry Pie, that the beer selection has improved and that I can get a lot of food on a stick at the new stadium.

LET’S PLAY BALL! (in 96 days)

ddddddddd…we interrupt this inactive baseball blog to bring you notes from Other Teams!!! dddddddddddd

(btw – the Ds are like that “breaking news” sound that happens before old timey announcements.)

Yo baseball…waaaz up??

So, I have been MIA. I know that. You know that. Hell, my mom knows that because she follows my whereabouts via my blog!

BUT, I was on vacation (no, not for 2 months – smartasses) but it takes a lot of mental energy to plan and execute a successful vacation. Well, it takes some drinking, a couple maps, a plane ticket and my Sidekick (cellphone). Let me recap very briefly. Trust me, there’s baseball in it!

Landed in Philly.
Picked up my rental (a glorified peugeot but without the funness of saying “peugeot”) and stopped at every Sonic I could see.
Drove to Delaware.
Ate some crab cakes from a roadside stand (I am hardcore).
Went to Delaware State Fair.
Saw Gin Blossoms and made a prolific statement that they did not age well (sorry…they sounded good though!!!).
Slept in shady motel notell (no, it didn’t rent by the hour.)
Went to Maryland.
Visited family.
Met the famous Metsgrrl.
Sat in sweet seats at the Orioles vs. Royals game thanks to Metsgrrl.
Took a ridiculous amount of pictures of Grienke pitching.
Ate the World’s Best Pretzel (in the shape of an O too).
Realized that I have an accent.
Met with friends
Headed to Pittsburg to meet up with Sarah from Those Girls.
Pretty much fangirled all things related to the Pittsburgh Pirates
Went to Musikfest and pretty much dorked out with The Dirty Dozen
Sang karaoke
Flew home to Minneapolis

Let’s talk about Pittsburgh for a minute (since those are the pictures I have ready to post)!!! The City of Bridges!!! Home of the Super Bowl Champions Steelers and Pirates.

Let’s keep with the abbreviated theme - Things that sum up my trip to Pittsburgh:
*PNC Park
*The coolest mascot!
*Friendly staff
*Beautiful city
*Food
*Beer
*Build Your Own Slushies
*Fantastic seats
*Scoreboard graphics
*Garrett Jones
*Duct Tape Jerseys
*Hot Dogs launching
*Giveaways
*Free country music concert
*Hand Dipped Ice Cream
*Smorgasburgh
*Yingaling
*Vegetarian sandwiches with your choice of roast beef, ham or turkey
*Beer cheese dip
*Sarah

It was an amazing experience and I think Sarah and I fangirled/flailed/oooh-ed/awww-ed enough to have our own travel show – or at least a Visit Pittsburgh.com commercial. I’ll let these pictures tell the story!

Mullet! Straight ahead!

Confused? So were we. WTF Pittsburgh???

View from our seats

Heeeeee’s baaaaaack and throwing out the first pitch

Oh hey Garrett Jones! Zup?

This made me so happy!!! I received a couple “what the hell you doin lady” looks

Criiiiiiiistan Guuuuuuuuzman

Shit! He’s looking right. At. Me.

Why so pretty Pittsburgh?

Some third base coaches use signs. This dude yelled.

I don’t think you mean “vegetarian”

Paper plates with the Pirates logo on it made us say “OMG! This place has EVERYTHING!!!” and add that to our list of Things The New Twins Stadium Needs list.

This dude says “CHEER”, you say “WTF?”

You can check out all my Pittsburgh photos here.

Non-baseball but no less important - Cap in Hand Edition

Hey, are you a fan of live music? Do you want to support keeping smaller bands on the road?? Well, check this out!

I am a fan of this band called Burn Halo. Actually, Vee introduced me to them about…a gazillion years ago. He kept sneaking Burn Halo songs on mixed CDs (that’s soooooo 1999) until I finally admitted that “YES I LIKE THEM!” and went out to buy a copy of their new self-titled CD (which is rad by the way). I know, I know…I usually fangirl Adam Lambert, American Idol, and other random music BUT this band is pretty badass. It’s rock. Harder rock. Like, headbang, turn it up loud, won’t be embarrassed to be stopped at a light in South Minneapolis singing along – rock. Well, they need our help. A series of unfortunate events is hindering (not to be confused with the band, Hinder) their tour. They are asking for monetary support to get themselves back together. Check out their Myspace Blog here – it’s legit yo!

Help Burn Halo, please donate

Also, if you are in the Minnesota/Wisconsin area you should check them out on Thursday, August 20. They are playing at The Rock in Maplewood. Now, y’all know how I feel about the fucking suburbs but I am hauling my city-girl ass out there to check this show out. A.) It’s Burn Halo B.) It’s the Rock which seems pretty awesome and tiny and cool and character-y C.) I am going to this show solo – I am a brave toaster and I can do it!!!

Music of the Day – ch ch check it out
Burn Halo – Dirty Girl

Been on the desert on a horse with no name/it felt good to get out of the rain

OKAY OKAY OKAY!I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!Wait, let’s be honest. I wasn’t really anywhere. Just lazy, yo!
There is a LOT of stuff to cover here so I am doing it in bullet point format and you are required to read all the way through the end. Hey, there may be a surprise involved!

1.) Are you going to be in the Minneapolis area on Saturday for the Twins vs. White Sox match-up? Sarah (Oh, It’s Those Girls) & I are having a par-tay to welcome an Out-of-Towner! You may know her from her tweets @AmandaRykoff, formerly known as @CompanyWoman). You can also check out her podcasts here. She’ll be in town this weekend and we want to welcome her to the coolest Blogging/Twittering family! We’ll be pre-gaming at my house on Saturday, July 11 from 12:30 p.m. – 3:30 p.m. If you are interested in attending please RSVP to me at parkavepiraet@comcast.net and I’ll send you the details! Hope you see you all there!

1B.) Here’s the deal about the Saturday, July 11 game. It is Faith & Family night. Now, some of you are going to want to just skip down to #2 at this time. I’ll give you a moment to do that…

Faith & Family night. Some of you *cough*Amy*cough* are probably laughing at the fact I will be present in a location that is celebrating the two things I am most opposed to – faith and families. Now, before you start humming the “Cold Hearted Bitch” theme song just remember that I have some good things buried deep in my heart – vodka, love of music, plethora of swear words & a winning personality. See??? Let’s just say that I probably won’t be sticking around for the Jars of Clay concert afterwards – unless David Cook or Tom Petty or Adam Lambert or Gavin Rossdale are opening for them.

2.) HOME RUN DERBY IS NOW MORNEAUSEY-FREE. The rational part of my brain gets it. HOWEVER, the street-fighting, snarling, twirling, jazz hands, finger snapping part of my brain is going – WHA??? He’s gotta go back there and defend himself against all those “JOSH HAMILTON SHOULD HAVE WON” comments. Hey, did you know that Josh Hamilton came back from a drug problem? Let’s be honest. Justin Morneau probably doesn’t have the same brain pattern that I do so he’s probably not playing to save his swing. However, the trashy part of me works overtime and thinks that he’s fed up with the douchebaggery that happened last year. (Oh it was pointed out to me that maybe he doesn’t want to play because The Media couldn’t even be bothered to get his name right – JASON Morneau.)

Once again, I know that my irrational reasonings are NOT the actual reasons but they sure do sound spunky.
3.) There is nothing worse than walking into work after the Twins lose to the Yankees. You see, there are 3 types of baseball fans in MN: 1-Twins Fans 2-Fans of other teams who they are connected to 3-Yankees fans because they are America’s team. My office is 50% Twins Fans, 10% Other Team’s Fans & 40% Yankees fans. It sucks.

Non-baseball but no less important
Let’s keep the numbers rolling

4.) OF JULY! It was a blast. My day was so Americana that I should have painted stars & stripes on my…eyelids (heeey, I bet some of you were thinking something else. Tsk tsk.)

Zeppelin the Dog is patriotic

The red cup, Stacy & me

I call this...patriotic punch. You call it Blue Boone's Farm

Tara & Zeppelin the Dog

Lu & me

Will. I. Am is pretty badass for a 2 yr old

Me peeps!

5.) Okay, I am going to tell you guys this but I don’t want to hear ONE PEEP from youse guys about it. Okay? Can you handle that? *sigh* On Wednesday, July 15 IamgoingtoseeDavidCookinconcertinDuluth,MN.

6.) Adam Lambert may be the best thing since peanut butter cups. Proof?


Yup, I am okay with him being Lucy’s role model.

Music of the Day – One of the Classics Edition
America – Horse with no name

Sail away with me to another world/And we rely on each other, ah-ah/From one lover to another, ah-ah

Whilst we are all dealing with a weekend of Asssstros let me take a moment to reflect upon the Twins Unplugged event. Alas, I am like 5 days late so y’all probably know what went down from the other bloggers/tweeters. Here are my thoughts:

* I can’t bring myself to eat waffle fries without Sarah (Oh, Those Girls)
* K-Brobaseball has the pretties eyes I have ever seen (and I sure hope that doesn’t start making her hold her fingers up in the cross/back away slowly position).
* The Twins have the coolest/sweetest/funniest bloggers/tweeters ever. Screw us giving the players awards! They should host an event for us! I am serious, yo!
* NotBrokenScottyBaker doesn’t look 12 when he’s in street clothes…I’m just saying.
* Glen Perkins is a funny guy! One may even say he’s sassy.

Here are my crap cell phone photos. Alas, I didn’t bring my new fancy camera because I was so discombobulated about driving to the suburbs on a weeknight that I threw my groove off. *shudders*

Once, twice, three times a lady
So, obviously the dude below isn’t a lady BUT I got that song stuck in my head whilst watching him spread his goods all out in section 227. Dude, ain’t nobody want to be seeing you spread out and all that jazz. The grandma from Princess Diaries says “Knees together”.

What else…what else…
OOOOOH YES!SAVE THE DATE – JULY 11
Blogger/Twitter meet-up

Now, we’ll have a very, very, very special guest to this occasion. Amanda (CompanyWoman) will be in town to experience Le Metrodome at its finest.

Dear Minnesota Twins,

You better bring it.

Love,
Jen

Music of the Day – My karaoke duet of choice (albeit cliché) Edition
Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers – Islands in the Stream

You were a storm/it blew us away/I wouldn’t leave you/but you couldn’t stay

Bring on the pirate jokes!
As if Ames doesn’t have enough to deal with whilst attending a baseball game with me (twittering, twingo, shiny things, ADD, gossip, hold this please) she now has to deal with my slew of pirate jokes I’ll be busting out. Mmwwhwahaha. I sure hope she doesn’t read this until after the game.

Tonight I will be at the Metrodome, section 227 (Jack-kay) watching the Twins and Pirates. It’ll be the first time of seeing the Pirates but not the last. The pitching matchup is Mahlom and Perkins. I haven’t seen Glen Perkins in a while so I will hold judgment until he takes the mound.

K-Brobaseball really breaks down what Kubel has done for us. Sure, he may not have the fangirl club like the M&M boys, or the sassiness of Gomez, the nakedness of Redmond – he still has a lot of power.

Non-baseball but no less important

Dorkiness, thy name is Jen
So, I was at Super Target the other day and I kinda fangirled-out in the frozen food section. You see, they now make eggo waffles with Star Trek pictures on it. Basically I stood in front of that freezer gasping like a 13 year old with her Bop magazine.

Yes, I bought the fucking waffles.
No, I don’t even like toaster waffles.
Yes, I am eating one each day and taking a picture of it.
No, you’ll never be as cool as me.

Zeppelin the Dog Update
So, Zepp is like a real dog now. He’s kind of sassy, a bit naughty, a lot of energy, massive cuddler, super cute & a giant pain in the ass. BUT I <3 him so hard! On Sunday we all went for ice cream and Zepp had his first puppy sundae. As you can tell by the pictures below…he liked it.

Adam Lambert still pwns my soul
First, I don’t even friggin know what “pwns” means but I think it has something to do with “owns” but a misspelling that has stuck around as some sort of lingo.

Second,


Music of the Day – Ryan Star’s new album is out today on iTunes Edition
So you know, check it out. Maybe you can pick up a digital copy or something cool. I mean…whatevs.

Ryan Star – Last Train Home

Don’t got a lot of time/Don’t give a damn/Don’t tell me what to do/I am the man/Love of the loveless

My favorite 3 Bs
Baseball.
Beer.
Bacon.

Last night on Twitter
It seemed like we got a little off-topic. It involved baseball, bloody marys, bacon infused vodka, brunch and well…all sorts of baconry.

Thanks to CompanyWoman,

Top 10 Bacon Quotes from Homer Simpson

My faves:

“Is it Bacon Day?”
“Mmmm. Move over eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend – fudge.”
“Mmm…bacon.”
“Mmm…unexplained bacon”

In conclusion,
Minnesota Tweet-up at Hell’s Kitchen for bacon-infused bloody marys!

Drafting
I’ve never watched the draft before. Shocked? No, you probably aren’t. I’ll be at a bar tonight that has a TV that they’ll let me pick the channel so… BASEBALL DRAFT HAPPY HOUR!

So, there was a game last night
AND it wasn’t pretty. Swarzy’s having a rough time. Will he still be in the rotation? Only Gardy and insiders know!

Non-baseball but no less important

I got a mix CD – they must luv me
My co-worker (and partner-in-crime) Steph made me a mix CD which is all kinds of awesomesauce:

Title: Vodka, Tots & Peanut Sauce
1. Love of the Loveless – Eels
* This song was on the Henry Pool Was Here soundtrack - awesome
2. Around the Bend – The Asteroids
* Makes me want to dance around my cubicle. Like bananarama but current
3. Know Your Enemy – Green Day
*The new one! I have to make the Billy Idol face and rock out hardcore!
4. Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani
* You know what? I ain’t no hollaback girl
5. Two Hearts Beat as One – U2
* A less popular but oddly endearing U2 song
6. The Most Beautiful Girl – Flight of the Conchords
*OMG! Bret & Jermaine really rock my socks. If you haven’t caught an episode – DO IT!
7. Soul Meets Body – Death Cab for Cutie
* In theory I mock the Death Cab but I really appreciate the talent of the lead singer – his writing is phenom!
8. Pump It Up – Elvis Costello
* Elvis Costello is always right.
9. Unsung - +/-
*Bands with names that are symbols are okay with me.
10. I Will Dare – The Replacements
* This reminds me of a breakup in which the ex boyfriend got the Replacements album. Asshat.
11. Bryn – Vampire Weekend
* This band never fails to make me smile.
12. Don’t You Evah – Spoon
* Evah? Helllz ya.
13. Forever My Friend – Ray LaMontagne
* This guy is genius. I was surprised when I saw him on SNL and he looked like a skinny Grizzly Adams but he is phenom!
14. In the Waiting Line – Zero 7
15. Left Behind – Zero 7

Jealouzzzz?

As if I didn’t have enough to be mocked about
I saw this…


And then I said

HOLY SHIT

And then my co-workers surrounded my desk to ogle Mr. Adam Lambert with me.

Fierce. Guess who’ll be at Barnes & Noble tomorrow morning?

ME!

Music of the Day – Listening to it right this second Edition

The Eels – Love of the Loveless