Black pants suit/Sexy pumps/Take me out to a power lunch

End of Trade Deadline
Let’s wait and see…
* Pudge to Yankees
* Manny to Dodgers (Melty will be very happy)
* Jason Bay to the Red Sox
* Griffey Jr to White Sox

Well, I hate to prove people right
Evidently this clueless gal (and yes, I mean literally clueless) missed out on a heck of a debate over on Alright Hamilton. I figure Daymonster wouldn’t mind if I highlighted his topic over here…on my Girl Blog (Ha, couldn’t resist!) Honest to goodness check it out but don’t ostracize him for his opinions. Ya’ll have had to listen to me yammer on about my hatred of suburbs. Oh, and remember when I posted a picture of Ryan Seacrest? Yeah, I shall not cast stones in the glass house. These are just my opinions and in no way affect the outcome of American Idol or the Presidential race. Those are important items, me blogging about baseball isn’t. Hell, I don’t get paid for this shit so I am the last one to dig for stats or talk numbers. That’s the reason I link to the more Stat-friendly blogs…you know Boy Blogs (again, couldn’t resist.) Let’s lay this out in the open so you know what you are getting:
I watch baseball.
I understand how the game is played.
I bring new non-baseball people to games to convert them.
I verbally spar with co-workers in San Franscisco over stats.
I keep a relatively accurate scorecard.
I drink beer.
I eat sunflower seeds.
I paint my toenails pink.
I swear at umpires.
I complain about Punto but listen to other opinions on him.
I fangirled over Barty.
I call my obnoxious co-worker Ass Clown because he mocks me about pretending to watch baseball.
I am a girl baseball blogger…hear me roar.
I am not Norma Rae or Karen Silkwood.

I do think Daymonster got the results he wanted…a heated, amusing debate.

All I ask is, please don’t group me in with discussion on a specific event, a beef with a specific person if-you-will. I had no part. I am not here to take sides (unless a keg of Summit lands on my doorstep, swing vote!) Point is made, feathers are ruffled. The only (other) things that I find untrue from my perspective:
* The second group of blogs have been saying all of the first group's posts and comments are all doom and gloom.
* These two types of blogs have been at odds for most of the season.
* But my issue is of late, that the second group of blogs and people like them often complain that the first group aren't Twins Fans.

As a reader of all the baseball blogs she can find (because working is for chumps) I think the above comments are not actual-factual (rhyming is fun.) Generalizing is not a way to win your points or arguments. Dude! Man-up…have a real live debate, argue your topic and points in a non-attacking manner. Don’t drag me in bitching and moaning…you will kill my buzz and that won’t make this blogger happy.

Maybe those of us in the second group should have a new slogan – Have Boobs, Will Blog!

So if anyone cares, I did go to the game last night
* It was doomed from the start.
* Please tell me there is at least one other person who was at the game that mocked the pre-game dancers!?!?! I swear to Baby Jesus that I was in a time warp where someone half-assed rapped along with Rihanna’s Umbrella, did slow dance moves and twirled!
* We couldn’t blame Mother Booze for Amy and I singing the chorus to Elton John’s Levon. We were sober.
* Heard that Bert said that the Twins should give Quentin a wedgie. Sometimes Bert can be totally badass.

Non-baseball and probably way less important

Tonight, tonight
Tonight I will be rocking at First Ave and seeing Duffy in concert. Look for a music video from her tomorrow and maybe a little gushing. I am just predicting that she will be AWESOME!!!

Spotted
Amy spotted on Highway 94: A cherry red midlife-crisis car with a license plate reading “No1Dude.”
My theory: If you have to spell it out for people you probably aren’t a Number 1 Dude.

Random Countdowns:
* One month until American Idol concert – and yes, I will be fangirling…deal with it.
* One week and one day until Foley, Ames and I hit the open road and drive to Kansas City, MO for the MN Twins vs. KC Royals baseball game.
* One month until my city is taken hostage by the Republican National Convention.
* One day until the one year anniversary of the 35W bridge disaster.
* One hour until a painfully boring meeting starts.

Hey, butt off my snacks
Someone (not naming names) sat down in my guest office chair yesterday and smashed my afternoon snack.
Exhibit A:

The title alone is funny
CJ: Nellie Oleson shows up at the little bar on the prairie
We Minnesotans love our LHOTP references (that’s Little House on the Prairie for those who don’t know.) When it was announced that Melissa Gilbert would be starring in the Little House on Prairie play opening at the Guthrie everyone was a-tizzed over the news. Half-pint would be in Minnesota!!! Then the cherry on the sundae? Nellie Oleson stopped by to show some support. And yes, there really is a drink called the Nasty Nellie and no I don’t know what is in it but I aim to find out.

Music of the Day – Local Edition
Well, I learned something new today. Har Mar Superstar is a comic musician born in Minnesota and named after the Har Mar mall in Roseville. He has appeared with the Strokes in London, Never Mind the Buzzcocks show and Jimmy Kimmel Live. Evidently I am the only one who hasn’t heard of him.

Har Mar Superstar on Jimmy Kimmel Live

I won’t be cryin’, cryin’/When I think about you/’cos I opened by eyes/And I won’t be cryin’

Well, since everyone else is talking about it

CJ (sassy columnist from the Strib) wrote about AJ’s new ‘do in her column today. Ch-ch-ch-check it out.
C.J.: What’s up with A.J. Pierzynski’s

In Attendance
Ames and I will be in attendance at tonight’s game in our usual seats. It’s been a long time since we have seen our regulars (geeky-Cosby-sweater guy.) Wednesday’s are probably the best night for baseball because there is TWINGO and Dollar Dogs! I will also be paying attention to Harris’ at-bat music to see what else he throws in the mix (NO CHERRY PIE!)

And he shall be Livan (Levon)
Livan is pitching tonight. What do you think the odds are of the Twins wearing the sleeveless jerseys? I know, they really aren’t that bad but for some reason they really irk me. Today sleeveless, tomorrow what?

- Acceptable sleevless wear

NOT acceptable sleeveless jerseys

Next step...tube tops


Kind of baseball-ish

You, Sir, are too old to be playing hacky-sack
I took this picture of this group of guys playing hacky-sack outside of the Metrodome. The picture in itself isn’t special except to show that these guys were well past the college recreational sports days. You can’t tell from the photo but they really sucked at it and the little hacky-sack ball kept hitting passerbys. The drunken old-enough-to-know-better guys thought it was funny. What I thought was funnier was they kept calling the little hacky-sack ball a “Footbag.” Wait, this is where it gets funny. After their footbag smacked a guy in the head they asked for their footbag back. The passerby responded with “Here’s your footbag you douchbag.” My hand to Jesus, I laughed so hard there was a snort involved.

Non-baseball but no less important

Guess who is the office freak today?
You’re right! It is me! I have said it before…the guys in my office need to start reading Cosmo or watching modern television shows.
Exhibit A: A few years ago I came into the office wearing one of those giant flower pins (made popular by Sex & the City) and the guys asked if I was going to prom.
Exhibit B: I mostly wear black nail polish on my fingers (my passive way of fighting the Business Casual Dress Code) and the guys asked if I was going Goth.
Exhibit C: A few summers ago I wore fancy gaucho pants to work (the pants that are wide legged capris) and the guys asked if I was wearing a long Skort. Now, don’t get me wrong…I love a good “skort” reference.
Exhibit D: Summer scarves are popular now and I love wearing them. No, I am not covering up a hickey or think its winter. Mooooove on.
Exhibit E: I changed up my black nail polish and am wearing bright turquoise blue. If I hear one more person say “You must be so cold, ‘cause your fingers are turning blue” I will not be responsible for my actions.

Morale of the story: cubicle dwelling, suburban living, clueless boys are dorks!

Today on Wild Kingdom
I have this co-worker (who shares my love of cubicle singing and gossips) that brings in weird food for me to try. Today she brought in spicy pheasant jerky. You heard it here first folks! I ate Pheasant Jerky…and I like it. I also like venison jerky because then I know there is one less deer out there terrorizing me. (No, that was mean! I would never kill an animal but I would run screaming from it.)

Music of the Day – Local Edition
Vixen, an all female heavy metal band from St. Paul, Minnesota. Coincidence, I think not…Minnesota’s women’s professional football team is called the Vixen.

Vixen – Cryin’

All eyes look up to me/High above the filthy streets/Head no bullhorn when it calls

First of all,
I apologize for having a picture of Ryan Seacrest on my baseball blog. I totally experienced the “day after” syndrome when I was looking back and went: “What the hell? Did I really post a picture of Seacrest? Oh sweet baby Jesus!” So…my apologies.

Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie Oye! Oye! Oye!
Last night I got home from the bar and turned on the game (hey, that sounds familiar) in time to see Slowey’s 8th inning shut-out and the anticipation of 9 Innings of Wonder!

Slow ride, take it easy
Brilliant 6-hit shutout for Slowey! Congrats!!! You can crack a smile though…

Need a break?
Remember that baseball Twix commercial where the umpire has to make a call but is struggling so he pops a Twix stick in his mouth for more time? Yeah, it looks like our Ump need a Twix last night with Dye’s called homerun but was actually a foul ball situation. I am glad it got worked out in the end but “Come on Blue!” Mmm…Twix.

Let’s rewind a bit
Earlier in the evening whilst sitting on a bar stool at Nami, eating sushi and enjoying happy hour, I received a few text messages from my baseball circle (or Calling Tree, if you will.) Evidently AJ dyed his hair a white blonde color. My first thought was to text Those Girls to see their reaction. Then when I got home I saw the damage real-time. It harkens back to the good old days at Bayside. AJ’s new ‘do is an older man version of the Zack Morris style (minus the black roots but let’s wait a few weeks.)

Since we are talking Saved by the Bell
Funny.

Non-baseball but no less important

Someone didn’t want me to brush my teeth this morning

Damn you radio!

You are trying to make me mental!After seeing Iron Man last week I spent the rest of the week and weekend singing Black Sabbath’s Iron Man. I finally (FINALLY!) got the song out of my head and then what happens? Mother F-ing Classic Rock Radio Station plays it. You are all doomed! I apologize in advance to my cube-mates.

Concert update – Wishlist included
Motorhead – very tempting to go to this just to say “I totally saw Motorhead last night…”
NIN (Nine Inch Nails, for those who missed out on the mid-90’s)
Journey/Cheap Trick – The Monday Night Happy Hour Crew is tossing this idea around
Duffy – the concert is this Thursday and I have a conflict but I may do some creative arranging
The Ting Tings – I want to go to this but not alone (because I won’t be able to dance crazy by myself.) Anyone in the Minneapolis area going?
Black Crowes – They are playing at the MN State Fair
They Might Be Giants
Glamorama, Macy’s Fundraising Event – Musical guests Cyndi Lauper and MC Hammer…Can’t touch this
Fangirly concert of the moment – THE FRATELLIS at First Ave!!!

Music of the Day – Local Edition
I am proud to say The Replacements came out of Minneapolis.

The Replacements – The Ledge

I can taste the fear/Gonna lift me up and take me out of here/Don’t wanna fire, don’t wanna die

Hey Look! I am practically real-time blogging
I must confess I am blogging in order to distract myself from the scary movie playing on my television. We are watching The Orphanage and it is freaking me the fuck out. So…I blog to cope. (I just know I will be having nightmares tonight.) So be warned…there will be lots of profanity because I am “freaking the fuck out!”

Yesterday:
I was at Merlin’s Rest last night having a pint and dinner with Jolene and evidently the Irish Pubs of South Minneapolis don’t subscribe to broadcasting the game. Hmpf. I came and turned the game on in the 7th. Here are some half-assed notes I jotted down.
* I saw about a hundred replays of Go-Go’s battle with the wall.
* Morneausey went boom. It is nice to see him find his stride (being the Home Run Champ and all.)
* My baseball namesake came in to pitch for Cleveland Rocks in the 9th and did a crap job. (Some of the guys in the office call me Kobiyashi because it’s similar to my last name.)
* At our last at-bat Dick said “Last hope for the Twins, Nick Punto.” Huh, not words of comfort.
* Damn, for a moment there I started a rally in my own livingroom. I channeled the Little Engine that Could and was chanting “I think we can, I think we can, I think we can.”

Tonight:
I watched all of tonight’s game from the comfort of my own home.
* Right after we scored our first run in the 1st inning I went to grab a soda and in the moments it took me to come back we were up 6 to nothing.
* Baker did a bang-up job…bravo.
* I saw Go-Go’s haircut for the first time (*cough*sober*cough*) and I like it…sorry Those Girls.
* Looks like Go-Go will be out a few more days (which according to MLB is a blessing in disguise.)
* Buscher, Lambers and Span had good nights at the plate.

Tomorrow:
Blackburn (sings in the dead of night) is pitching tomorrow at noon against Sowers. Let’s win the series, okay? Okay.

Hey, have you seen this?
My Jeep is P.I.M.P-ed out.


NON BASEBALL

HOT OFF THE PRESS
The Fratellis will be playing at First Ave on September 10! I have been waiting FOREVER and EVER for them to come back to Minneapolis (or the Midwest in general, I am willing to travel) and now my wish has been granted. (Okay Santa Claus, where the fuck’s my pony?) I am going to be there. Will you?

New Celebrity crush
Ryan Seacrest! I KNOW! I can barely believe it myself but after watching more E! News Weekend then is probably healthy I came to the conclusion that I really like him. I mean, all the stalkerazzis from TMZ say he’s a super nice guy. I mean, their opinions have to matter for something, right? And besides, I always chuckle at the bits with Ryan Seacrest and Joel McHale. Seacrest out.

Did you know…?
That you can buy pregnancy tests in bulk on Amazon.com…’cause you can.

Rant on my friends, Rant on
Today’s rant is brought to you by the number 4 and the letter B. This evening I almost ran over a damn bike-riding hipster with my fucking SUV. Note: Just because you buy a Target reissued old fashioned bicycle with a basket doesn’t make you exempt from traffic laws. Next time, I aim.

Evidently not everyone thinks I am cool
I saw my tiny, baby cousin Ty (okay, he’s 18 years old) driving around my neighborhood all pimped out in his grey with black racing stripes fancy hot rod. I guess the fact I was smiling and waving at him wasn’t cool. I think I got an eye roll.

Music of the Day
We are breaking from the Local Music Spotlight because my list is at work. I am giving you the music video from the band I have tried, really tried to like but I just can’t buy into the hype. However, this one song of theirs must have subliminal messages that make me listen to it over and over again. Arcade Fire, they have received so many indie awards and yet I still mock them.

Arcade Fire – Intervention



Swear count: 5 (whoa.)

She put $900 on the fifth horse in the sixth race/I think its name is “Chips Ahoy!”/It came in six lengths ahead

Well, I didn’t skip blogging because I was pissed off. I mean don’t get me wrong, I was pissed off. I just didn’t blog because I have so many social obligations. Between dinner, drinks, Thai Happy Hours, movies and Tom Petty I just now found a moment to share my thoughts of the New York series. I am less mad at the Yankees (I know, right!) and more mad at the “Eh, well we tried” attitude. Don’t make me break out inspirational speeches because I will…I really will.
So, here’s what I got…
Monday, 7/21 – L, 4-12
Tuesday, 7/22 – L, 2-8
Wednesday, 7/23 – L, 1-5

I watched Monday’s game from my barstool at Rossi’s. It was a tough one to watch because towards the end of the evening I overheard a few New York fans sitting down at the bar starting their peacock strut. You guessed right, it only takes three glasses of Riesling to make me want to take my earrings out and start it up.
Tuesday night I watched a bit from a barstool at Amazing Thai where my friends and I were making our way through the happy hour food menu. Mmm…wontons, spring rolls, fried tofu.
Wednesday the game was on the office televisions and each time I walked by I would mutter swear words under my breath.

Mooooving on
Tonight we start a series in Cleveland Rocks. I will be watching from a barstool in a lesser-known Irish pub in South Minneapolis (Merlin’s Rest.) Oh, and two weeks until KC or Bust Roadtrip. Eek!

Non-baseball but no less important

Wednesday night I was rocking out to Tom Petty.
Here are my thoughts on the show:
* The opener - Steve Winwood was pretty damn boring. I knew two songs and well, I just wasn’t in to him.
* Lots of white-man dancing.
* So much pot, so little time
* I was thinking that when I am at the Target Center for my next concert – American Idols – there probably won’t be as much pot smoking going on. Probably…
* In case you were wondering, yes, it is possible to do a strip dance to the Traveling Wilbury’s. I would like to thank the strippers-in-training three rows in front of us for the free show. *shudders*
* Tom Petty ROCKS! The dude is humble, amazing and puts on a mighty fine show. His whole band was In It To Win It. I am very happy that I can now say “I’ve been to a Tom Petty show.”

Tickets - $60
T-shirt - $40
Free contact high from all the pot smoke – Priceless

Overheard by me
This is what I overheard JB saying as we walked to the concert
“I am totally going to cry at this concert.”
Aww…the Ass Clown has a heart. Ouch, that was mean. Retract! RETRACT!

I, for one, am NOT Iron Man
BUT I sure the hell can’t get the song out of my head. Damn you Iron Man: The Movie! *shakes fist in the air* I went and saw Iron Man last night with some of my peeps. I had popcorn for dinner. I laughed (hard!) I grabbed Kris’ arm during the scary parts (and she didn’t push me away *cough*Amy*cough*.) When Terrence Howard first appeared in the movie I got the giggles because Kris was singing “It’s hard out here for a pimp” from the movie *Hustle & Flow. It’s a long story but in involves a drunken night at Jun Bo Dim Sum and a bartender that looked like Terrence Howard. Anyways, so…it is going to be a Black Sabbath kind of day today.

The I Kissed A Girl saga continues
We are still listening to that song (and by “we” I mean Lucy.) Today she was excited because she had a tube of chapstick “like in the kiss the girl song!” Then we had an I Kissed a Girl injury. Lucy got some chapstick in her eye whilst dancing.

Frosting is my drug of choice
I have to admit a dirty, dirty secret. I love frosting! I would rather have frosting on a spoon than on cake (empty calories.) My co-worker Carebear understands by love and is my frosting-dealer. She brought me the present below from her son’s birthday party. Don’t worry I didn’t eat it all…I just took a big spoonful out. I swear, I can stop anytime.

Music of the Day – Local Edition
The Hold Steady may technically be a New York based band but they have ties to Minnesota and are proud of them. Tonight they come back to town and are playing a SOLD OUT show at First Avenue. I think I thwarted fate by turning down tickets twice but it just didn’t work out for me. I am kind of bummed though because some of the best shows are ones when Hometown Heroes come back and play their first gig after national attention (a la The Hold Steady.) I once caught a show with Steve of Semisonics after they made it big with “Closing Time” and “Chemistry.” They rocked it out (and I wasn’t even a HUGE fan or anything before the show.) Anyways…Congrats and Kudos go to The Hold Steady.

The Hold Steady – Chips Ahoy

Hey Hey little fighter girl/It’s you and me against this whole wide world/Sleeping together in the lions den

I don’t care if Monday’s blue
God damn Monday mornings. Yep, I did need to swear.

Scores
Friday, 7/18 – Twins 6, Rangers 0
Saturday, 7/19 – Twins 14, Rangers 2
Sunday, 7/20 – Twins 0, Rangers 1 (damn)

I was at Friday’s game with TBL, sitting in her awesome seats. Obviously, it was a great game to be at because the Twins won. It was also nice to see Young, Harris, Kubel and Buscher having some action on the field. Want to know how (un)funny I am? Every time Hamilton was up to bat or running on the field I would say to TBL:

“Hey, did you know Hamilton overcame big drug problems?”
“Did you hear that Hamilton has 17 tattoos that he got whilst high?”
“Wow, Hamilton battled back from drug use to become the player he is now.”
Yeah, I think it go old faster than I figured out.

I missed viewing Saturday’s slam (due to family obligations) but I followed the score on my cell phone (and from Amy’s text messages.) Now, that would have been an awesome game to be at.

Alas, I didn’t see Sunday’s game either (bad fan) because the girls and I were at the Star Wars Exhibit. You can read all about our geek-fest below. It appears that Baker had another tough game with no run support. Double damn.

Tonight it looks like an interesting pitching match-up in New York:
Blackburn (singing in the dead of night) vs. *snort* Ponson
Oh yeah…I’ll be watching for sure.

Non-baseball but no less important

Proof that I went to the Star Wars Exhibit


My new talking watch is counting down the time until I had to leave

Pre-Star Wars dinner at Pepitos, I was lucky enough to sit in the same booth that Duran Duran once sat

C3PO and I doing the Robot

I like to caption this as “Don’t want to miss my flight” (to nerd-land)

Here are some funny moments:
*Our tickets were for the 2:15 p.m. showing. We walked through this maze of ropes and found out that we were the first ones in line. Yes, we were first in line for the Star Wars exhibit.
* Upon seeing C3PO Amy said “Oooh, robots!”
* A little later in the afternoon I overheard Foley saying “Oooh, Stormtroopers!”
* We took a few slightly inappropriate photos in the exhibit and I think the die-hard Star War fans have reserved a special place in hell for us. Eh.

You may be surprised but I made a video montage of our photos. It’s good for a chuckle or two.



Here’s a bonus letter with video
Dear Lucy,
I am sorry. I am sorry that I brought Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” into the house. I am sorry that I forgot for a moment that you are an impressionable 3-year old. I am sorry that we listened to it once, just that one time. It was a slip-up, I swear. I am sorry that you now love the song and are asking for it constantly. I am sorry. I will try to fix this, baby. I promise.
Lots of love from an auntie that should know better,
Auntie Jen

PS: I am also sorry that my household now has to listen to the song on repeat.



Music of the day
Although not born in Minnesota, Mason Jennings is a Minnesotan musician. I have seen him perform probably a half dozen times. He sang two of Bob Dylan’s songs in the “I’m Not There” movie and is signed up with Jack Johnson’s record label.

Mason Jennings – Fighter Girl (live on MyFox Atlanta)

You could lose a lot with me/A young lady like you/You could lose your luck with a drummer like me

This may seem cliché but TGIF! Longest. Week. Ever.

And we’re back!
Tonight I will be in attendance at the game (evidently along with the rest of the blogging world!) Third Base Line and I will be parked in her seats chatting about music and sports happenings. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a game so I am looking forward to the sounds of the dome. I am sure there will be some people-watching down at field level. Hopefully I can bring baseball back to this “baseball” blog.

In the meantime…I fangirled over The Who last night.

Non-baseball but no less important

Who are you / Who who who who
Last night I parked myself in front of cable television to watch VH1’s Rock Honors: The Who. I have been waiting for this since…well; they started airing those damn commercials. Here are my thoughts (mild warning for slightly tipsy rambling because of a happy hour which involved Mother Booze):
* Foo Fighters opening the show couldn’t have been better. I love that band (proved from my concert notes from when I saw them earlier this year.) To channel a 16-year old girl fangirling over David Archuleta (runner-up in American Idol) “They are hawter than hawt.”
* The Flaming Lips are made of Win! I have always had a crush on the lead singer Wayne Coyne.
* The red carpet photos are filled with random celebrities that I never imagined would be Who fans but evidently are fans of publicity (*cough*KimKardashian*cough*)
* The Who fucking sang my song (they sunged ma song)…Baba O’Riley. Something about the opening that makes the hair on my arms stand on end.
* Whoa, they sang my other song…Behind Blue Eyes. Fuck ya!
* You can bet your damn pony that I will be rocking out to The Who on my iPod in the morning.

*Sigh* Yeah, those were the thoughts in my head at the time.

What level of offended should I be?
A co-worker (affectionately called Ass Clown) said whilst standing in a group setting “Actually Jen, I am surprised you know who The Who are.”

Friendly reminder…
Saturday, July 19 is Willie Nelson Day at the Electric Fetus! Be there or be square!


Hey, everyone have a fan-fucking-tastic weekend!

MOD – Local Music
Today’s featured local band is Trip Shakespeare. I was introduced to them via Stacy. There are a lot dotted lines coming and going from this band:
Trip Shakespeare’s members Dan and Matt Wilson
Matt Wilson started new band called The Flops
Dan Wilson released solo album in 2007 and won a Grammy for co-writing songs on Dixie Chicks “Taking the Long Way.”
Dan Wilson founding member of the band Semisonic (with radio-friendly hits: Closing Time, Chemistry)

Trip Shakespeare – Drummer like Me

Walking around with your head in the clouds/Makes no sense at all/Makes no difference at all

I got nothing!
Seriously folks, it is a dull day for baseball. They even are repeating the Home Run Derby just for kicks and giggles. So, feel free to hit your “back” browser unless…you want some trashy non-baseball news and updates (below.) Hey, what other baseball blog can you read about Willie Nelson Day, David Cook and Husker Du?

Non-baseball but no less important

Willie Nelson Day
You heard it here first folks! Saturday, July 19 is Willie Nelson Day at the Electric Fetus record store. You won’t want to miss this! I’ll be there and maybe Willie will be too (he’s playing at a casino the night before.)


And the Emmy Nomination goes to…
Here are what’s important from the hours circus around the announcement:

Outstanding Comedy Series
30 Rock
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Entourage
The Office
Two and a Half Men

Outstanding Drama Series
Boston Legal
Damages
Dexter
House
Lost
Mad Men

Outstanding Host for a Reality (Competition)
American Idol – Ryan Seacrest
Dancing with the Stars – Tom Bergeron
Deal or No Deal – Howie Mandel
Project Runway – Heidi Klum
Survivor – Jeff Probst

Outstanding Miniseries
Cranford (Masterpiece Theatre)
John Adams
The Andromeda Strain
Tin Man

Outstanding Reality Competition Program
American Idol
Dancing With the Stars
Project Runaway
The Amazing Race
Top Chef

Outstanding Picture Editing of Clip Packages for Talk, Performance, Award or A Reality-Competition Program
80th Annual Academy Awards (Oscar Show Tribute Sequence)
American Idol Episode 733 (David Cook Goes Home) - commence eye rolling
Dancing with the Stars Episode 610 (Head to Head package)
Jimmy Kimmel Live After the Academy Awards (I’m F***ing Ben Affleck)
Jimmy Kimmel Live 5th Year Anniversary Show (I’m F***ing Matt Damon)

Okay, I stopped reading. There are some pretty damn boring categories.

New purchases
Remember when I was fangirling over Urban Outfitters and the Obama t-shirts? Well, I fell in love with two watches on the site and ordered those online. Right now they are (as if they weren’t inanimate objects) in Georgia and heading north! Hopefully I will have them soon so I can impress ya’ll with my rocking new style. Ha.

Music of the Day - Hometown pride
I decided it was time to share all the great music that has come out of my fine state. Each day I will highlight a local guy/gal/group that has influenced the world of music. Everyone from Husker Du to Prince to Paris Bennett (from American Idol.) They may differ in music but they all have a connection to Minnesota. Hey, I learned something new and maybe you will too.


Husker Du – Makes No Sense At All

This is to New York City angels/And the rivers of our blood/This is to all of us, to all of us

All-Star Dramaz
They had me at hello.

Queue music, queue Jen’s goosebumps and weepy eyes. Nothing like good old fashioned recaps, video montages and hall of famers to get me verklempt.
Here are my thoughts during extravaganza:
* I was sad to see Dave Winfield and Paul Molitor in logos other than the Twins.
* Rod Carew received some loud cheers and that made me happy.
* I was cheering from the comfort of my living room (with beer in hand.)
* My Passive-Aggressive Minnesota-Nice self was feeling bad for laughing at A-Rod yesterday (via photos) so when they announced him and he walked out and hugged the 3rd Base Hall of Famers I said “He’s a nice boy.”
* Dude! I wouldn’t want to be standing in the area a homerun ball was hit because those people were like rabid dogs scavenging for the ball. Ouch.
* I don’t know many NL players.
* I got a little bored.
* The crowd was starting to piss me off with all the booing. I know, I know it was their home turf and all but at least try to be respectful. Included in that bit was the drama around Papelbon…seriously folks.
* I know I shouldn’t care but I was extremely happy that the AL won.

On Break
A few more days of no baseball and then we’re back at it.

Non-baseball but no less important

What do you think you will pick up with these lines? Herpes?
* Do you have a library card? Cuz I’d like to sign you out.
* Is there a mirror in your pants? Cuz I can see myself in them.
* I know I am no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.
* I can’t find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel.
* Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

There would have to be an awful lot of vodka involved for any of those to work. Or, they would have to come out of the mouth of Orlando Bloom/David Cook/Anderson Cooper.

Trader Joe’s and I made dinner last night
Yep, I cooked. Color everyone shocked. My entire meal was provided by the lovely granola hippies at Trader Joe’s. If you have never been to a Trader Joe’s get yourself there. Some of my personal favorite items are:
cinnamon scones, chicken tenders in yellow curry and chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches.

Personal Theory
When asking someone if they know Poison their reactions can be divided into three groups:
Ages 33+ will think of the song Every Rose Has a Thorn by Poison
Ages 23-33 will think of Bell Biv Devoe and their song Poison (that girl is poison/never trust a big butt and smile/that girl is poison poison)
Ages 15-23 will think of the VH1 show Rock of Love with Bret Michaels and that he was in this band called Poison.

Music of the Day
NEW MUSIC ALERT! I just saw this music video and I can’t stop thinking about it. The lead singers unique voice and use of guyliner makes it a Win-Win.


Thriving Ivory – Angels on the Moon

I want you/If you want me too/I have one question/ Can I help you/Now watch me what I do

All-Star Break = boring moments in baseball (well, except for that one little thing that involved Morneausey winning the Home Run Derby title.)
I saw my ass down at watched the Home Run Derby last night. I didn’t have high hopes for entertainment due to the fact last year’s was boring as hell. Huzzah! I was proven wrong. Between the sweetly victorious ending and the sappy sob story of Hamilton’s I was hooked (line and sinker.) Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of groan-worthy, cheesy moments that tempted my flipping finger (as in flipping the channel not in flipping the television off.) Let’s recap those moments:
* Hamilton’s regrets his tattoos and would remove them if the process wasn’t so painful.
* Hearing the announcers say “71-year old batting practice coach” a trillion times.
* All the details of his recovery over and over again. Wait, Hamilton…doesn’t he play baseball?
* David Ortiz being on camera every flipping second. I mean, I know he’s entertaining but not that entertaining.
* Did I mention that the tattooed, recovering Hamilton had his 71-year old high school batting practice coach pitch to him? Yeah…

But enough of that…
Let’s focus on the good news. Morneausey is crowned 2008 Home Run Derby Champion. I swear to Sweet Baby Jesus (not the Mauer variety) that if I hear one more person go…”We won’t remember who won we’ll remember Hamilton” …I will do something. I am not sure what but it will be something painful and dastardly. Seriously. I got hooked into the Hamilton storyline and was amazed at his feat…however Morneausey won, he has the trophy to prove it. And moving on.

Hitting below the belt yet oddly hilarious
I know, I know…I need to grow up, act my age and not giggle at things like this…

But come on! It is kind of funny.
Taken from the Huffington Post

Non-baseball but no less important

And I am back…
Well, I have finally left my seclusion. I am back in the Land of Living. You see these past two days I have been holed up in my house, alone, with the internet, cable and plenty of naps. However, after 48-hours of solo-ness I am ready to get back to real life. I am making myself crazy. Here are the conclusions I came to:
* I bore myself
* Leaving the house after seclusion feels like being in a fish bowl
* The cats think I am stupid (I swear they are talking about me behind my back.)
* There is only so much internet you can search before you get bored
* Showering becomes less of a priority
* Self make-overs make me realize why I don’t wear pastel eye shadows
* Talking to one’s self is crazy and maybe the first sign to the leave the house

Sounds of the City
Ah, summer in the city. There I was sitting in the house at 11:05 p.m. on a Saturday night. The windows were open to let the fresh breeze in. The television is muted so I can eavesdrop on the fight across the street. Yep, summer is here. The woman is screaming obscenities and it is at the perfect pitch where it makes my eyes squint and the hairs stand on my arm. Hopefully she figures her shit out before I go to sleep.

I am in love with…
Urban Outfitters. You see, I have been searching for this hilarious Barack Obama t-shirt I saw on a not-to-be-named-rocker-because-Amy-will-make-fun-of-me. *cough*DavidCook*cough* After some serious Google searching I found out that Urban Outfitters carries the line and fell in love with this t-shirt

Sorry, that is kind of political but I lurve it.

Product Watch – this one ain’t for the boys
Nair In-Shower Hair Remover
So, I tried this whilst showering this morning. It actually fucking works! It’s easy, it’s no-mess and did I mention that it worked? The smell reminds me of old-school perms and I don’t even want to think about what kinds of chemicals are in it to make it burn the hair off your legs. *shudders*

Music of the day
We are back to a commercial. Yesterday during the Home Run Derby I saw the commercial below about a million times. (And it never got boring.) I love the combination of Pharrell, Santogold and Julian Casablancas. Here’s the full length song…enjoy.

NERD featuring Santogold & Julian Casablancas (The Strokes)

If you are what you say you are/A superstar/Then have no fear/The camera’s here

Aw shit.
I would like to think that this little bit of losing isn’t my fault but I can’t necessarily be blameless. I mean, I didn’t watch any of the Boston series. I chose Thai food and K-Sprag’s Tivo recording of David Cook on The View. (Don’t even get me start on what kind of hell I belong in when I have to watch Elizabeth Hasselback.) I also chose to go to the George Michael concert. However, I am still a little suspicious of two co-workers of mine who ventured to Boston and saw some games with the Big Green Monster.

So we limped out of Boston after a rough sweep!
In case you were living in a cave (or didn’t want to peek through your fingers):
7/7 L 0-1
7/8 L 5-6 (although the announcers were fangirling over Blackburn saying he did a good job)
7/9 L 5-18 (ouch)

Never fear…we squeezed out a win in Detroit Rock City (7-6)
Tonight I swear on my brand new Sidekick that I will be watching the game.

Non-baseball but no less important

Michael, George Michael
Set List
Waiting, Fastlove, I’m Your Man, Father Figure, Hard Day, Everything She Wants, One More Try, Different Corner, Easier Affair, Too Funky, Star People, Faith, Spinning the Wheel, Fantasy, Feeling Good, Roxanne, Kissing a Fool, Amazing, Flawless, Outside, First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Careless Whisper, Freedom 90

If you want to check out the photos I took click here for my photobucket link.

Funny Bathroom Art
Before you ask…no, I didn’t write this

Nothin’ But a Good Time
Rumor amongst the cubicles is that Poison (the band) was staying at the hotel in my same building. We saw the big tour buses parked outside but due to a freak storm we were unable to walk around and peak inside. *cough*stalk*cough* (And I don’t even really love Poison, at least not enough to wait and meet them in person.)

See, those who don’t like American Idol can stay away…
This tidbit of news came from Amy who has spent the past few months rolling her eyes over my fascination with David “American Idol” Cook.

David Cook Laces Up Shoe Deal with Sketchers

…and queue gratuitous picture

Let me introduce my new favorite inanimate object
Hello, my name is Jen and I am addicted to cell phones. Hi Jen! So, I bought a new Sidekick this week and she’s damn pretty. I am a little overwhelmed by her awesomeness (yes I am channeling a 15-year old.) She hasn’t been named yet but I am leaning towards Ninja. Alas Chuck, my old Sidekick, has been retired to a lovely farm in the country where he can run outside all day.



MOD
This is the second Lupe Fiasco song I have posted on my blog. You may remember “Daydreamin’” in reference to a cell phone commercial. I think he’s a genius when it comes to mixing musical styles to create a unique sound. Ah, enough fangirling…here you go!

Lupe Fiasco - Superstar

These are the days of the empty hand/Oh you hold on to what you can/and charity is a coat you wear

It’s good to be a MN Twins fan
I caught a lot of bits and pieces of baseball this weekend. This is old news but…
* Swept the Indians
* Getting positive press
* 50 games won (home)
* Those Girls got the new hardhats.

Hey now you’re an All Star get your game on, go play
And in more old news…Baby Jesus, Morneausey and Nathan have been nominated to the All-Star game. Time will tell if anyone one (meaning Baby J or Morneausey) will be participating in the Home Run Derby. I watched that for the first time last year and after the introductions I was bored out of my mind. Maybe it’s different seeing it live. Maybe…

Local News:
Sid Hartman: Santana, Hunter not selected as All-Stars
Jim Souhan: Go-go-going in the right direction

I won’t be watching the game tonight due to a George Michael’s concert (see below for details) but I will be following it on my cell phone.

In other news:
CC Sabathia traded away from our League…whew

Non-baseball but no less important
Question: Is there anything worse than coming back to a cubicle on a Monday morning after a three-day weekend?
Answer: Hell no.

George Michael concert
Your truly (as previously mentioned) will be rocking at the George Michael concert on tonight. I will be in attendance with Ryan, and I have a feeling we will both be fangirling, dancing and singing along with G.M. Here’s to hoping he plays all my favorites and maybe a couple Wham numbers. I wonder if I can find a “Choose Life” t-shirt…

Proof that Lucy is on the fast track to being a Rock Star
As if you needed more…


Lucy’s way cool, ultra-hip Auntie (me) decided to teach her the Rock Salute. After a couple of duds and a few inappropriate, unbeknownst to her, hand gestures she got it down.

RIP Bozo
I hope I am not the one breaking this news to you but aBozo (The Clown) passed away on Thursday. I am partial to that particular clown because I remember watching his show. He’s like my generation’s “Howdy Doody.”



Please hold the judgment until I go all the way off my rocker
Okay, I am going to admit something that 99% of my blog readers will…roll their eyes, mock me in the breakroom or snort with laughter. There will be 1% of you who totally are in concurrence with me. Here goes…I bought David Cook postage stamps.
I KNOW! I KNOW! What the hell was I thinking?!?
Before thou judges me just know that A.) I did need stamps, B.) It’s my first time and C.) He’s like the only American Idol Champion that I have ever supported in any way. Seriously. Okay, bring it on. Bring it on Judgy McJudgertons. I can take it. By the way, I imagine the site of me shiftily checking the mail maybe be along the same lines as I would envision someone getting porn delivered. I am just saying…


Music of the Day
Now, if you discount the lounge-act video screen crap this is a great song and he did a fantastical job!

George Michael – Praying for Time (live on American Idol Final)


And to embrace my inner-fangirl here are the 2008 Top 12 American Idols singing a medley of George Michael’s hits.

I got the rap patrol on the gate patrol/Foes that wanna make sure my casket’s closed/Rap critics that say he’s “Money Cash Hoes”

Right this very second
I am following the game right now on my computer whilst working. Right at this moment we are up 5 to 0 at the top of the 4th.

* Hey, is it really true Gardy has only been ejected three times this season? Man, I would have sworn it was more.

A while ago I had this post of celebrities throwing out the first pitch. (Actually it was just an excuse to post pictures of David Cook and David Beckham…but whatev’s.) Now I give you the ‘staches. Thanks to Pumpkin Girl for the link (and lurking.)

Baseball’s Best Mustaches
For reference

Next up…the Baseball Mullet or Bamullet.


Non-baseball but no less important

Guyliner – fact or fiction?
Monday night my drinking posse devoted a large chunk of our drinking time to the Great Guyliner Debate. 99% of us are in full support of guyliner…with guys like Jared Leto, Pete Wentz, Tommy Lee, Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day), Brandon Flowers (The Killers) and most recently my American Idol Crush (AIC) David Cook.


Why me?
A long, long time ago Foley brought me this little souvenir back from Vegas. You see, us girls have a running joke about the Slot Machines now being christened as the Slut Machines after one of us (not me and not Amy) got caught making out in front of one of them. So…no idea why she gave ME this t-shirt but since she always whines that I never wear it out in public (duh) I thought I would publicly present it here.


Music of the Day
Here’s a fantastic video of Jay-Z playing live at the Glastonbury Festival. A little Oasis “Wonderall” and a lotta AC/DC’s “Back in Black.” Evidently this caused a little grumbling from the Brits but I like it.

Jay-Z – 99 Problems