It’s too late it’s too soon or is it?/Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom

The Waiting Game
Wow, Pitchers and Catchers report to camp on Sunday (as if we all haven’t seen that everywhere.) I can’t wait. February 28 is the first Spring Training game. I can’t wait. I received my home opener tickets in the mail last night. I can’t wait. I should start making my 2008 Baseball Resolutions. That I can wait for.

There aren’t any new headlines coming for La Twins since the Livan Hernandez deal so that’s all I got for you. Sorry.

Baseball, but not Twins related
Why the hell not, I may as well piss everyone off
Okay, the Number 1 Rule when getting to the office on a -6 degree morning with cold coffee and a cranky attitude? Don’t read Sports Illustrated online!
Headline: Will Bush pardon Clemens? McNamee’s lawyer says Prez will let Rocket off hook

I know, I know, I know. I shouldn’t believe everything I read. Heck, especially what lawyers print. But, just the idea of this pisses me the fuck off. So, read it if you want to get feisty. Don’t read it if you are borderline Captain Cranky-pants.

Non-baseball, but no less important
Concert Calendar
2/15 (Tonight) – One of my fave local bands is playing at the 7th Street Entry side of First Ave, Romantica. Tickets are only $10 and show starts at 8:00 p.m. Romantica probably won’t take the stage until closer to 10:00 p.m.
2/24 – New York Dolls. I probably won’t be attending this show but I am okay with that…now.
2/27 – Foo Fighters!!! Yeah baby!!!
2/28 – The Hives at First Ave. I totally want to go and if I can rearrange my plans I may be attending by myself. Sad pouty face.
3/15 – Tom Jones at Mystic Lake Casino
3/17 – 3rd Annual Thin Lizzy Tribute Night. What better way to celebrate the REAL St. Patrick’s Day!!! (Silly Church is making everything happen on Saturday March 15.) However, I will most likely be sipping cocktails with my Monday Night Happy Hour Crew at Rossi’s…same old, same old.
4/12 – Bon Iver at the Turf Club. What a great show!

Sporting Calendar
3/2 – Minnesota Wild Hockey. You heard it here first folks. I am going to my first hockey game. I did once to go my high school’s hockey game because my best friend (BFF) was dating one of the players. It should be an interesting mix. It is always fun to put me in new sports settings to see what happens.
3/31 – Minnesota Twins Home Opener!

What’s this feeling? / My love will rip a hole through the ceiling

Music Quiz thing floating around the blogs
List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good but they must be songs you're really enjoying now.
1. First Day of my Life – Bright Eyes
2. King without a Crown - Matisyahu
3. Goodnight and Goodbye – Jonas Brothers (don’t even ask)
4. Keep Your Hands to Yourself – Georgia Satellites
5. Devil in Me – 22-20’s
6. Fiona - Romantica
7. Welcome to the Black Parade – My Chemical Romance

MLB Headlines
· Nick Swisher (Oakland A’s) traded to Chicago White Sox for three prospects.
· Clemens crying on 60 Minutes will air on Sunday at 6:30. I will probably watch just for the sake of it.

Heyman’s (who I love/hate) 2007 Winners and Losers
For the actual article and not my loose interpretation click here.
Winners:
· George Mitchell – steroid investigator
· Bud Selig – commissioner
· Jimmy Rolins – Phillies SS, NL MVP
· Theo Epstein – Red Sox GM
· Frank “The Big Hurt” Thomas – Blue Jays DH, role model
· C.C. Sabathia – Indians P, CY Young
· Josh Hamilton – Rangers OF, recovering addict and comeback kid
· Hank Steinbrenner – Yankees General Partner and the Boss’ kid
· Jon Lester – Red Sox P, offered in Johan Santana trade
· Torii Hunter – Angels CF, just had best season with Twins
· Dontrelle WiIlis – Tigers P, leaving behind lackluster Marlin’s
· Troy Tulowitzki – Rockies SS, compared to Jeter
· Joba Chamberlain – Yankees P, evidently they made Rules for him
· David Soares – Albany D.A., going after steroid users
· Matt Holliday – Rockies OF, big numbers
· Dustin Pedroia – Red Sox 2B, fight for spot
· Magglio Ordonez – Tigers OF, always a great player
· Jorge Posada – Yankees C, consistently great (even at 36)
· Ryan Braun – Brewers 3B, exceeded 1.000
· Pedro Martinez – Mets P, recovered and got 3,000th strikeout
· Tom Glavine – Braves P, won 300th games at a Met
· Prince Fielder – Brewers 1B, youngest player to hit 50 homeruns, albeit having a hissy fit regarding dad
· Dan O’Dowd – Rockies GM, got his team moving up
· Fausto Carmona – Indians P, moved from closer to starter
· Dave Dombrowski – Tigers GM, smart trading
· Joe Girardi – Yankees GM, beat out Mattingly for dream job
· A-Rod – Yankees 3B, no need to fill in this spot
· Scott Boras – Agent, made a cool $15 million off of A-Rod
· Ichiro – Mariners CF, inside-the-park homerun at the All-Star game
· Joe Torre – Dodgers GM, left the Bronx Bombers for the west coast
· Rick Ankiel – Cardinals OF, lots of drama and still came through
· Trey Hillman – Royals GM, new manager
· Tony Reagins – Angels GM, new manager
· Troy Percival – Rays P, came back from retirement
· Brandom Webb – Diamondbacks P, 42-inning scoreless streak
· Carlos Silva – Mariners P, hee hee, turned a solidly mediocre season into a big contract
· Ed Wade – Astros GM, new manager with a little laughingstock thrown in
· Mark Buehrle – White Sox P, no hitter and big contract
· Daisuke Matsuzaka – Red Sox P, big money for being on a big team
· Mark Teixeira – Braves 1B, made the trade work
· Sammy Sosa – ex-Rangers OF/DH, 600th home run out of retirement
· Randy Levine – Yankees President, I am kind of sick of all the Yankee stuff
· Jose Guillen – Royals OF, called out for steroids but still made a good deal
· Jeffrey Loria – Marlins Owner, channeling Pohlad with tight budget but lots of cash in wallet
· Craig Biggio – newly retired Astors 2B, 3,000 hits
· Jim Thome – White Sox DH, 500th homerun
· Luis Castillo – Mets 2B, Achy man with $25 million over 4 years
· JJ Putz – Mariners P, solid except for brief moment in All-Star game
· Rusty Hardin – Huston Attorney, defending Clemens

Losers (or non-winners)
· Clemens – ex Yankees P, need I say more?
· Bonds – ex Giants OF, set records but may be a sham
· Jason Giambi – Yankees DH, sad
· Twins Fans – yep, we made the list. We have lost a lot except the new stadium
· Houston Astros – Tejada is making a mockery
· Tejada – Astros SS, steroid all over the place
· Bobby Cox – Braves GM, a lot of game ejections with little wins
· Scott Rolen – Cardinals 3B, fighting with his GM La Russa
· Tony La Russa – Cardinals GM, bad year plus an embarrassing DWI tape
· Levinson Brothers – 11 clients on the Mitchell Report
· New York Mets – a sad end of the season
· Omar Minaya – Mets GM, trading errors
· Don Fehr – Players Union Chief, admitted that maybe the union was slow to stop steroids
· Jermaine Dye – White Sox OF, bad season
· Andruw Jones – Dodgers CF, lost some money because of bad year
· Eric Gagne – Brewers P, evidently didn’t ear World Series ring and made a showing on the Mitchell Report
· Trevor Hoffman – Padres P, let the Wild Card go to the Rockies
· Mark Prior – Padres P, should retire
· Jay Gibbons – Orioles OF, 15-game suspension with a pasat
· Paul Lo Duca – Nationals C, Mitchell Report and fierce temper
· David Eckstein – Blue Jays SS, wanted a lot more than he was worth
· Paul Byrd – Indians P, laughingstock
· Gary Matthews Jr – Angels OF, claimed to buy the ‘roids but didn’t take it
· Mike Cameron – ex Padres OF, in big trouble mister
· Lenny Dykstra – retired Mets/Phillies OF, blatant ‘roid use cheapens the denials of the rest

Note that there are no Minnesota Twins on the Winners list...however, there are three 2007 team members on the list that are no longer with the MN Twins. Lovely.

‘Roid Rage/Human Growth Rage

I sure do hope spring training comes soon. They only things filling the sports news slots are reactions to the Mitchell Report (ba, ba, bum) and rumors. Skip to the end for non-Mitchell Report baseballness.

We have all commented on or mocked the Mitchell Report (which now has an Olympic like theme for the opening, thank you) that was released last week. My Land O’Cubicles has been in a flurry taking names down and keeping track of who is reported, who denies and who admits usage. With the release of Knoblauch’s name many of my crazy-drinking-baseball-game-attendees have been preening righteously. I guess after ten years the hurt feelings have not gone away. To quote Mr. Darcy:
“Maybe it’s that I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others, or the offenses against me. My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.” – Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen.

I think the one thing that was highlighted for me, in a very shallow way, is Schilling martyring himself out in the following article:
Schilling Calls on Clemens to give up Cy Youngs if Rocket doesn’t clear name

Now, it appears that Clemens is speaking out (via Youtube):


I guess we will get all the details in his interview with 60 Minutes.

Twins Fest 2007!
January 25 – 27 will have the Metrodome all in a flutter with meeting our new players and sighing in relief over the ones we kept. This lipgloss-wearing gal will most likely be there but you won’t see her standing in any autograph line. (I just don’t have the attention span and dedication for that.) I am more of a people watcher, early ticket buyer and shopper. I am betting that many of you will be there also. Who will you be standing in line for?

“I just wrote the best song I’ve ever written – hell, I just wrote the best song that anybody’s ever written!”

Irving Berlin quoted the morning after he wrote White Christmas

Thou shall not throw someone under the bus
I was reading the sports headlines this morning and these two stuck out:
Schilling: If guilty, Clemens should return Cy Young awards
Compared to A-Rod, Michael Jordan and Joe Montana were playing for peanuts.

Schilling sure likes to talk a lot, doesn’t he? He’s always calling someone out for something or other.
I know, I know. I obviously don’t like A-Rod so it makes me prejudice towards any stories.

Non-Baseball

I aspire to this?
Here is what I did this morning:
Cleaned my office (with cleaning products)
Downloaded Ezra Furman & the Harpoons album
Attempted to flirt with the Starbucks guy this morning
Said eight swear words (due to a paperclip getting stuck in my damn keyboard)
Updated my calendar
Drank coffee

Well, hells bells. What am I going to do for the rest of the f-ing day?

One more time, go ahead, ask me one more time
In the Land O’Cubicles - In response to the question “Any big holiday plans?” I will now be answering with “Nope.” This is mostly because I am sick of responding, replying and being polite. The last two meetings I had started with this question. Hey, I am not anti-holiday but I am anti-wasting-my-time.

RIP: Orange and Blue
Lucy’s two Beta fish have gone to the giant fish tank (that sat overnight to make sure the water was filtered) in the sky. Orange (the red fish) and Blue (the purple fish) were attempted to be replaced by Stacy, alas only half of the duo is miraculously back. It’s a good thing Lucy is only two years old and can be easily fooled.

Video Advent Calendar – 4 days until The Day
I decided to be a good holiday girl and use a traditional song.

Bing Crosby – White Christmas (stickman version)

I loved you from the start/’cause Christmas ain’t the time/for breaking each other’s heart

I believe it is time to discuss salary caps
“A-rod set another record for baseball’s highest contract, finalizing his $275 million, 10-year agreement with the Yankees.” Are you kidding me? 275 million real-world-dollars? When I read that I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Ah, my friends, this baseball loving, trash talking gal is a little bitter/peeved about this kind of stuff.

The Mitchell Reports
Wow, the names are really stacking up. Tejada, Clemens, Knoblauch, Pettitte, David Justice are just a few early leaks. I guess we’ll see the entire list at 1:00 p.m. CT.

Ouch.
Last night I stayed out way too late drinking and socializing with my fellow cubicle dwellers. My head hurts. My eyes burn. My throat is sore. Hell, even my hair hurts. In my Land O’Cubicles we have a rule that if you can go out on a work night and whoop-it-up than you better damn well pay the piper the next day and drag your sorry ass to the office. Well, this morning we all made it in but no one is looking very well-off. In fact, one of us (not naming names) is a little green and sensitive to loud noises. Hmm…I wonder if it is cruel that I keep calling his desk phone and giggling when it rings shrilly. Eh, such is life.

Video Advent Calendar – 12 Days Until Christmas
Who doesn’t love the Ramones!!! When I found my favorite cake Punk band had a Christmas video, well, I had to put it on my countdown.

The Ramones – Merry Christmas Baby