In which I rant (slightly irrationally) about The Trade.

I thought this picture was fitting for a few different reasons. Read on to see if you can figure them out.

Last evening I was completely out of communication from anyone who wasn’t at my friend Ryan’s “Congratulation on your new house closing” party. There was no television, no telephone and I had my cell turned off. I sure paid for that this morning when I awoke with a slight hangover headache (damn Tanqueray and orange juice) and extremely tired.

Now, let me set a scene for you…
I was sitting on my bus, shades on, coffee in hand, Yoko Ono playing in my ear (see below for an explanation) and dozing on and off. It was around 17th and Chicago Ave when I roused myself to look at the KSTP News Bulletin billboard to catch up on any breaking news. There it was, in big bright lights “Castillo Traded to Mets.” What the fuck? I didn’t even hear a hint of that news. I was flustered when I dug my cell phone out of my purse. I kept elbowing the guy next to me trying to balance my coffee, music player, purse and cell phone. I called Amy at home since it was only 7:00 a.m. and I didn’t know if she had left yet. No answer. I called Amy on her cell phone thinking she wouldn’t have it turn on. Eureka! She answered. I didn’t even attempt for a casual morning greeting “Did you know Castillo got traded to the Mets?” (At 7:00 a.m. I cease using good grammar.) I was saddened to hear that she had heard that already and she had called me last night to leave me a message about it. Damn drinking! It ruins everything! So, this morning whilst I peruse all the sports pages I get angrier and angrier. We traded him for what? Son of a… Of all the stupid… Jeez… Okay, so yes, I am mad. Yes, I may be a tinge irrational. Yes, I may have threatened to alter my giant foam finger so I can flip Pohlad off. Yes, I will calm down and look at this rationally. Oh and by the way, I am blaming Pohlad for this trade (and for smacking my elbow on the corner of my desk when I was in a heated debate with Geoff.)

What a crap way to start the day.

Random Yoko Ono-ness: A friend of mine has a sister that works for Astralwerks label out of New York. Every quarter she sends a music package to Eric and I. We just got a box yesterday and it included two Yoko Ono CDs. (We think the sister put them in there since Yoko thanks her in the liner notes.) Eric didn’t want a thing to do with them so I took them home with me. Now if only I can get his grubby hands off the Chemical Brothers and A Band of Bees.

And the rule of thumb don't apply on me / 'Cause the table are turning

Lyrics from “Trying to Pull Away” featured in the motion picture “Once”, written by Glen Hansard

I have been a horrible, HORRIBLE baseball blogger. Contrary to popular belief I haven’t been blogless due to the fact the Twins were having a rough patch. Actually, if you look close enough I have been so busy rumbling with the nay-sayers. It is a bit like Westside Story. I take the humble, downtrodden approach of the Jets whilst my statistics ridden joy-killing co-workers represent the Sharks. All I need is some whistling and skipping and we would be a Rogers & Hammerstein flick. You know, anytime I can use a musical reference is a good day.

Here we start a hot, muggy and sunny Monday morning. This week will be better since I haven’t imbibed in alcohol or have stayed out way past my bedtime. I am getting too old to recover quickly from one rock and roll night. *shakes head sadly* It was a good a good weekend for baseball, at least for the Twins. Saturday and Sunday chalked up two wins for us (and mayhaps quieted to doubters for a wee bit.) The best part of the wins? Seeing the players that are normally struggling, part-time players step up and deliver big plays (Leeew and Tyner.) I caught the tail end of the game on Saturday since I was out being “cultured” during daylight hours. Non-baseball: I ventured to Uptown (Minneapolis) to catch a “special showing” of this Irish music film called “Once.” They advertised a discussion after the film. I decided to be a brave little toaster and go solo (since my friends break into Baseball and Drinking categories, except Amy.) I arrived at the theater early and sat reading the local entertainment magazine. As the lights were dimming I glanced around and saw eight (8!) other people in the theater. I was slightly worried this would be the world’s lamest post-movie discussion. The movie was fantastic. If you like music, all music, then you should check out the movie or soundtrack. Needless to say I put on my thinking cap and came up with a few discussion and question topics for after the movie. *pats self on back* Back to baseball: Amy is in Wisconsin Dells enjoying waterslides and family time so I have been texting her updates during the weekend’s games. I got to sink into the sofa and watch the entire game on Sunday. It was a pleasure to get back into the line-up.

Stats are a necessary evil. Sometimes I get so involved in numbers that I feel like Rainman so I have to step out of that environment. This time of year normally drives me bonkers since it is all about “Will we make the playoffs? What is our standing in the Wildcard?” Seriously, every pitch, hit, run, ejection and pop-fly changes the numbers and my brain doesn’t have enough memory to deal with that. So, for a few more days I am going to take a break from the World O’Stats and enjoy good old fashioned baseball. One way I am managing that is another co-worker from Salt Lake City is in town this week and we are venturing to the Metrodome to watch the Twins take on the Kansas City Royals. Easy, you say? Oh no, earlier this season I said the same thing about the Nationals and I had to eat a lot of crow.

News Flash: Thursday is the official ground breaking of the new Twins stadium in the Warehouse District. I will probably attend if a.) the weather cooperates, b.) I can drag Amy with me and c.) they don’t make it into a circus.

Beer is to Baseball as Horrible is to Mondays

Well, Lucy is now two years old and she thinks she can dress herself. I personally think anything goes with a Morneausey t-shirt, especially a pink and green nightgown. Let’s hope she can beat up the other toddlers at daycare if they make fun of her.

Why does it always rain on me?/ Even when the sun is shining / I can’t avoid the lightning
-Travis

Last night I channeled someone much hipper and much cooler than my actual self. I was invited last minute (well, 30 minutes before doors open) to a concert by my friend Liat. The Scottish band Travis was playing at First Ave so I decided to suck it up and be adventurous. Now, I don’t want to fill this baseball blog with all my new found Travis groupie-ness (seriously, this band rocked) but I felt like I need an explanation for why my brain is fried today. Too much dancing, too much drinking, too little sleep.

Why beer is for baseball (the at-home version):

* On Friday I drank my last two beers whilst watching the game. I am normally a one-beer-gal but the tight game drove me to the second one. I made a mental note to buy more.
* I tried to drink this horrible locally made strawberry wine to be frou-frou whilst watching the game but it was horrible (as stated above) so I switched to beer.
* It isn’t as cool to hold a fancy goblet when sitting cross-legged on the sofa.
* When you get to three beers and you feel a little tipsy you don’t need anyone else to watch the game with, because you can hold a conversation by yourself.
* It is fun to train the toddler how to get the beer.
* It is not fun to try and distract the toddler from throwing a fit because they want a drink of the beer.
* When the game gets sticky you can always go get a beer.
* Mmm…beer.

Well, it was a good weekend for baseball. We won the series against The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Gregg hates that name.) I didn’t get to watch the game yesterday which turned out to be the best one to skip. I will have to peruse the blogs to get a play-by-play.

I don’t have much else to write about (especially witty or funny) because I killed off a lot of brain cells last night.

Get mad, then get over it. - Colin Powell

That game made me mad. Seriously, mad!

Here are a few reasons:
* We looked like tee-ball players last night on ESPN. (Anyone who watched the Home Run Derby saw the guy do the tee ball contest for a million dollars and he totally choked.)
* Santana went out there and played. He played the hardest and didn’t give up. We all saw Gardy come out in the 8th to pull him but he went back to the dugout after a chat. Santana stayed and he got his job done. Seven strikeouts. Ahem, anyone else on the team want to give it a shot?
* Two times, TWO TIMES we had the bases loaded! And yet…?
* Four times, FOUR TIMES we left runners on third! And yet…?
* Three times, THREE TIMES we had the leadoff batter reach! And yet…?
* Morneausey and Baby Jesus were shut down by many different Detroit pitchers.
* We left 14 men on bases. 14!
* Neshek was awesome! My co-workers (from Salt Lake City) loved him! They were fascinated with his delivery, impressed with his speed and amused by his follow-through. Besides, he got out the only three batters in the 9th.
* We can try to absolve our sins by saying that Miller is the “Twins Killer,” that we haven’t had luck against him but the end result: We didn’t look like we tried too hard.
* It was so frustrating to watch.

Here is what was happening at the game but off the field:
* The prom kind and queen who were sitting in front of us (okay, they weren’t dressed up or anything but were definitely a young and in-love couple) spent the whole game taking pictures of themselves. I don’t mind the PDA (Public Display of Affection) but I am not a celeb so I am not used to the flash going off for three hours straight. Maybe they didn’t realize there was a game in front of them.
* Ah, Student Night, how you make me feel old. There were thousands upon thousands of teenagers and college kids at the game.
* That being said, there were dozens upon dozens of beach balls, paper airplanes and Dollar Dog wrappers being thrown down below.
* The ushers must hate student night. They spent the whole game popping beach balls and lecturing kids about the risks of giant airplanes lodging into skulls.
* To the fans that cheered when Craig Monroe was hurt in the 5th, you should be ashamed! (They weren’t cheering when he walked off the field, they were cheering when he was laying there waiting for help.)
* Also, to those drivers who get freaked out trying to leave the game, you probably shouldn’t park too close to the Metrodome. Same goes for people who don’t know how to edge out, not block the box or be a tiny bit aggressive.

Anyways, it may be girly, it may be childish, it may not be a tough balls-out way to say it but…my heart hurts, my head hurts and my pride hurts.

I wonder if there are any baseball anger management support groups for fans.

"Its against the rules to give up the attempt and walk away" - Abandoning the Bases, page 111,Baseball Field Guide

Tigers 1, Twins 0
Sweet Baby Jesus, it is hot outside. Wait, it isn’t just hot – it is sticky, humid, gross and stifling. Besides that, we are in the middle of a big (and tough) home-stand. I was excited to hunker down in front of my television (in the air conditioning) to watch a little Battle of the American League Champs however, I forgot about dinner/drinks with friends. Of course these are non-baseball loving friends so I reluctantly went to Rossi’s basement bar to have wine and food. I was happy to see that there were a few televisions located around the square bar but the crazy Phoebe-like (from Friends) lady was singing jazz on the stage. She was very distracting while I was trying to drink, semi-listen to my friends and watch the game. It was a tough job and I finally had to give up. Once the wine started flowing I lost the ability to multi-task. Damn alcohol!

Giddy with school girl glee
Tonight I am “introducing the Twins” to a few new people. First, I have my co-workers from Salt Lake City in town. They don’t have a professional baseball team near them (I think California, Colorado or Arizona are the closest baseball states.) Not only do they get to see a great team (I may be a little biased) but they get to see a great match-up of Santana on the mound for the Twins against the reigning AL Champs, Detroit Tigers. Also, a handful of my local co-workers, who aren’t avid baseball fans, will also be joining us. I have the tough job of trying not to ignore my non-baseball co-workers and yet enjoy the game and talk “shop” with my baseball-knowledgeable co-workers. I may have to keep the beer consumption to a minimum in order to handle the job. If you happen to be at the game tonight stop on by and see me. I will be surrounded by confused looking people in the cheap seats nearest to Left Field. I will also be the one with crazy new highlights that I am trying to get over (I mean, these are serious gold highlights in my red hair…eek.)

Risa, I know you are going to be at the game tonight but you’ll probably be sitting in your Family Section seats. If you decide to go to the cheap seats stop by and save me!!!

The MN Twins and 'Arry Potter (said in a high pitched, horrible British accent)

Not only did we sweep the A’s (which in itself is FANTASTIC) our starting pitchers did well…at least well enough for a Quality Start at a minimum.

I would like to compare the Twins to Harry Potter (or as Amy and I like to call it, ‘Arry Potta.) Are you scared? Well, you shouldn’t be! To the non-Harry Potter baseball fans please skip this entry and don’t hold it against me. I just saw the newest Harry Potter movie and I decided to share my nerdiness. By the way, I didn’t wear a costume to the movie so don’t even ask!

Here is how I would cast the characters:
Harry Potter – after much debate amongst the Land O’Cubicles (who love, love, love Joe Mauer) I would have to (with arm twisting and toothpicks in my eyes) pick Joe “Baby Jesus” Mauer as the savior of mankind, or the MN Twins.
Ron Weasley – Justin Morneausey! Isn’t he Baby Jesus’ best friend? At least that is what the newspapers and the Jimmy John’s commercials say.
Hermione Granger – Joe Nathan, he totally knows everything and can over-do it and stress you out a little but in the end he can solve the problem.
Albus Dumbledore – Santana, he is the rock!
Severus Snape – Silva, now I don’t mean anything bad by that. It is just that at this point in the game can we really trust Silva to be a “strong” starter?
Hagrid – Boof, again, not to be mean but Boof seems to have his ups and down. He is well meaning but sometimes he loses track of the point.
Luna Lovegood – Garza, he’s new and kind of spacey but I think he will settle down and be beneficial.
Finally…
Voldemort – Carl Pohlad (Twins “owner”) Does this really need to be explained?

Okay, I kind of got bored with that theme.

Moving on
I bought a new baseball book. I finally decided I need to learn a lot of the fundamentals of baseball. I know the basics and I ask a lot of questions but can I really trust a drunken friend to give me the correct answer? I bought Baseball Field Guide by Dan Formosa and Paul Hamburger. I look forward to answering baseball’s riddles (with color illustrations.) I also bought two other books that along with my baseball book made the cashier look at me funny: Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter (chic-lit, I am a girl okay?) and Third Rail, the Poetry of Rock and Roll.

Suh-weet, sweet Suite

Dear Fans in Section 113,
Please, for the love of the Baseball Gods, stop trying to start the wave. It should not take two hours to get people mildly interested in the wave then you should stop and move on. Chant, Woo Hoo, dance or whatever else…just stop going “1, 2, 3…” Wave.
Love,
Pissed off redhead fan in the sweet Suite seats

Well, last night was my big night at the game. Amy and I were going to view the game from sweet Suite seats. You may even say it was our Prom Baseball game. I debated what to wear and finally settled on normal “Casual Friday” cubicle clothes. However, I did brush my hair. All girly-ness aside…

The Suite
I am a Southside girl viewing the game from the Uptown world. We entered a world of free food (build your own nachos, burgers, hotdogs, The Carving Station, cookies and brownies) free beer, fancy bathrooms and big comfy leather seats. The only downside was the cameraman came into The Suite and was scanning our seats. Since our run-in with the Jumbo Screen last time we were at a game Amy refused to look to the right where he was standing. In fact, she even brushed her hair to cover her face and held up the “Joe Mauer – Hometown Hero” magazine in front of her face. Good news, we didn’t make the Jumbo Screen.

Open Question
What would your At Bat music be?
Amy thought my song would be “Come On Eileen” by Dexies Midnight Runners however; I would like to walk up to “Sympathy For The Devil” by Rolling Stones.
Please allow me to introduce myself / Im a man of wealth and taste / Ive been around for a long, long year / Stole many a mans soul and faith.
Wouldn’t that be bad-ass?
Amy didn’t answer the question but I would pick out “Ice Ice Baby” a la Vanilla Ice. Now, I know that Amy is totally pissed at that answer but I think it would be pretty cool.

Speaking of songs…has anyone else that has been to a Twins game heard the Twins rap song that has played in the background?

Homestretch
Twins won Thursday with Baker, Friday with Santana (no surprise) and even today with The Chief (Silva). Let’s go for a sweep of the A’s!

You could be my flamingo, 'Coz pink is the new kinda lingo - Aerosmith

Maybe I am of the generation that expects to be fully entertained at all moments of the day. Maybe I do have a short attention span. I may also be desensitized towards violence thanks to television. Either way…the All-Star game was a snooze-fest. I mean, seriously? The best part was the red carpet, tribute to Willie Mays and the player introductions. After the first inning it was all a blur. Of course, that could be attributed to my alcohol consumption. Yep, I was a sad, sad country song last night. I sat at home, alone, drinking my beer and watching baseball. Actually, I don’t think I was really alone since Amy and I talked on the phone for most of the game. Ah well, tonight we have a night off from baseball and then the Twins are back home tomorrow against the A’s.

Spoiled Baseball Brat
I have a feeling that when I attend the game on Friday I may be ruined for all other seats in the dome. These suite seats include all you can drink, food (including a carving station!), bric-a-bracs, leather seats, private bathrooms and many other perks. My goal (besides trying not to look like a trashy fan) is to get some autographs from past players; evidently they hang out in the area too. Tony Oliva, I am watching for you! (In a non-creepy, non-threatening way.)

Pink, that is the question
Over at Metgrrl.com, my favorite non-Twins baseball blog, there was a brief discussion on pink. You see, there are different ways to represent with pink. Pink glove; cool. Pink “Marry Me Joe Mauer” t-shirts; not cool. It is a fine line to walk. For the first year of Lucy’s life I refused (adamantly) to allow her to wear the pink cheerleading Twins outfit she got. If she was going to be a real fan she would wear real clothes. However, I have since loosened up on that policy. I figure if she grows up to love baseball as much as I do the world will be a better place, even if she wears a “Mrs. Mauer” (or even a “Mrs. Wright”, as long as it stays either Twins or a National League team) t-shirt. I am shuddering at the thought. I am totally okay if little girls (heck, even little boys) wear the pink shirts. I don’t know why I have this hatred of pink bred into me. Maybe it is because of my pasty white complexion and red hair, it makes wearing pink impossible.

Side note
Amy channeled our friend Foley (who often says inappropriate but funny things) last night when she was observing the frequent butt-pats amongst the players. Now, I know I need to grow up and not giggle at this but there was one pointed moment when Pudge gave Bonds a little pat. Amy commented that she wouldn’t mind doing that either. Ah, girls will be girls, even when they are deeply committed to baseball.

Oompa Loompa dommpadee doo, I’ve got another puzzle for you

Okay, was it me or was the Homerun Derby a little boring? I mean, it was soooo slow. Maybe I felt that way because Morneausey only made it to the 1.5 round. The big winners are Vladimir Guerrero and T.C. The Bear (who won the mascot derby). By the way Gregg hates our mascot. He finds it does not represent the MN Twins very well. He would much rather have those beer twins (you know the blonde, stacked females) wrestling in a kiddy pool of jello. Man, sometimes he makes it too easy to mock him.

*Random note: Okay American League, why orange jerseys? I mean, only a few people can pull off the color blaze orange and most of them are hunting in Wisconsin. Let’s pick some nice neutral colors for the next All-Star game, okay?

Cubicle Baseball
Two of my co-workers from the Salt Lake City office are going to be in town next week. I am going to take them to a Twins game since it will be their first Major League game. I couldn’t imagine living where there is no major league baseball! We will be playing Detroit so it should be an added thrill. Oh, plus it is also Dollar Dog night and there is nothing better in this world than $1 hot dogs and Twingo.

Veruca Salt of Baseball
I am a very spoiled baseball fan this season. No only have I had great seats all around the dome thanks to my “connections” (which are non-mafia) but now I get a chance to experience the glitz and glamour of box seats. Yeah, I won’t be up close to the players but I have a less of a chance of getting smacked by a ball. Plus, free food, beer and a private restroom? Hell ya!

What a fickle weekend of baseball!

Here is a short recap of the events:
Friday’s day game was one part exciting and one part depressing. I mean, we scored 20 runs but the other team scored 14. We won and that is what matters.
Friday’s evening game was a whole different story. Not only did we kick ass and take names, we sure looked good doing it. We won that game 12 – 0.
Saturday I was laying on the sofa in Grantsburg, Wisconsin (my gram’s house) watching us lose 1-3. Normally I dislike the national announcers because they are full of random crap. However during this game they were drooling over Bartlett (it was almost embarrassing how much they praised him), gushing over Boof (which isn’t as deserved as they made it seem) and saying that Gardy is one of the best managers in the league (which I believe too!) In the end it didn’t matter that our fan club was announcing us, we still lost.
Sunday was also painful. I didn’t watch any of the game since I went to a movie with Amy and Foley. The only reason Amy and I agreed to see a movie during game time is because Silva was pitching and he makes our hearts hurt. I guess Amy’s plan of wearing a Santana shirt to trick Silva into pitching great didn’t work. We lost that game 3-6.

I believe the guys over at Nick & Nick’s blog were accurate in quoting Paula Abdul…”Two steps forward and two steps back.”


This is Grandma's House
Well, enough with the scores already! Let’s talk about something funny…my grams. Now, some of you may know that I come from a baseball loving family, baseball is in my blood. It is normally dormant until I brought it out of hibernation. My grams raised her five kids in Bloomington next door to Tony Oliva. Now, the family as a whole doesn’t attend games together or talk the sports-talk. We just quietly carry on with our lives. Again, until I pointed out the elephant in the room. Stacy, contrary to her defensive stance, is hooked on the current Twins. She isn’t a new fan at all; she even skipped school to go to the World Series parade in ’87. However, now that she loses all rights to change the channel at game time, I believe she does enjoy it. My Uncle Larry likes to hunker down with the best of us to watch the game and eat peanuts from the comfort of the living room. Even my Mom and Dennis enjoy watching and attending games. The biggest surprise? My grams! I found out this weekend how much my gram gets into the game and knows about it also. Friday night she was staying at my place and watched the game with me. Not only was she yelling at the pitchers, umpires and defense. She was also telling the pitchers how to throw the “damn ball.” Nothing gives me more pleasure than hearing my grams swear at the television during a baseball game. Saturday we watched the game on an old fashioned television console at her house in Grantsburg, Wisconsin. We got sucked into the game again. This time she had plenty of stuff to yell about.
Ah baseball, you bring my dysfunctional family together!


There are no jockeys in the Homerun Derby!
Well, tonight is the Homerun Derby and I will be watching. I have “seen” them in the past but have not got sucked in like this year. Go Morneausey!!! By the way, I am skipping my normal Monday Night Happy Hour event with friends in order to watch the game. I believe my ears are still burning from all the teasing they are doing. I guess I didn’t do a great job picking drinking friends since they don’t follow baseball. Oh well, I like to think I am diverse in my drinking partners.


Here is a picture I took of my grams. Don't be alarmed. She is just scaring off the squirrels with her b.b. gun. I don't know why but now I am singing "Granny's got a gun" to the tune of Aerosmith's "Janie's Got a Gun."

Turning Back Time - not really relevant to this blog topic except in a random way

Okay, the All-Star voting is over. I need to just move on and quit stewing over the picks. Unlike Cher, I can’t turn back time. If I could I would totally go back to the final regular season game last year when the Twins sealed the first place spot while watching the Royals beat the Tigers. I watched the game and all the trappings afterwards from the comfort of my sofa (and drinking my free beer.)
Anyways, now we need to focus on the actual All-Star game. It is time to pick your AL/NL sides and do a little cheering. I am mostly in it for the celebrity sightings and any drama.

And, you all may have heard that Kevin Slowey was sent back down after a brief stint in the majors. Garza will get his shot this evening against the White Sox. You can bet that Baker and Garza are feeling a little anxious about their performances.

Here I sit (again) in my own personal hell (fondly called a cubicle) following the game on Gameday whilst reading a hard copy of a manual. I feel I have channeled a 14-year old girl since I am mostly doodling on my “home” work instead of doing it. I sure hope the teacher likes me so I get a B at least.
Right this minute we are at the bottom of the second with Baker pitching a 1-2-3 in the first and our offense rocking. Castillo, Barty, Baby Jesus and Hunter have all gotten hits. Now we are ahead 5-0 in the bottom of the 2nd. Of course, at this time the game can go either way. I am on my way to a meeting/tour of Solera Restaurant. My office is hosting our summer party there so I get to sample food and schmooze with the manager. Yeah, my job rocks!

Much like people holding giant signs in front of me whilst at a game are a big pet peeve of mine. I have also come to the conclusion that people that require me to work whilst I am watching the game on Gameday are evil scum suckers. EVIL!

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do
-Cher

Rich Kid, Poor Kid

Santana and Safety – two words that mean the same thing. Man, it was a good game yesterday. I made sure I was available to watch most of it due to the fact I missed the last two. Since we lost those games (I won’t go into bitter filled details) I decided that I had to watch the game since maybe I was the missing factor. Isn’t baseball a fickle, superstition filled game? I got home in the third inning after spending the morning celebrating our countries independence at a snobby neighborhood parade in St. Paul. After watching, and being disappointed, I started drifting into the nap-zone. It was then in the 6th when I was slumbering on the sofa that Dick and Bert invaded my subconscious screaming about a homerun. I peeked and saw that Kubel made the 4-2 lead happen. Yeah Twins. I dozed a little more until the 9th when Dick and Bert again entered my thoughts yelling about another homerun, this time it was Luis Rodriguez (or Uis-Rod as Stacy calls him.) Twins won 6-2.

Whilst sitting in my grey carpeted cubicle wall this afternoon I received an email from Amy regarding the Yankees wanting to get their dirty little paws on our Ace (Santana) and Torii Hunter. What makes me most frustrated is that they feel entitled to get what they want (and by “they” I mean the Baseball Powers That Be.) That it is only a matter of time before they can use their big money to buy a player from us. It reminds me of the story of the Rich Kid and the Poor Kid. The Rich Kid can get anything he wants but he always ends up wanting whatever the Poor Kid has, just for the fact of it. Does anyone really think that the Yankees will be winners if they get Santana or Torii? Right now they have a handful of the best players on their team. The only thing that prevents them from being a Power House is the fact they are playing individually, not as a team. Any other team would jump (leap, pull hair, kick, bite, scratch) to get Jeter, A-Rod, Johnny Damon (maybe less now), The Rocket (say what you may), Chien-Ming Wang, Jorge Posada (my fave), The C’s (Cano and Cairo) and Matsui. I mean, these guys are America’s team, right? Why aren’t they winning everything? Either way, they can’t have our guys until our guys are good and ready to go. I hope that Pohlad really realizes that if he doesn’t pay the money for our top players, we too can end up like the Royals and the Reds.
So, this whole rant came from this lame article from the New York Daily News titled "Santana’s a money pitcher fit for the Bombers' bucks".

Here is a paragraph from the article that made me mad (I don’t even know why I let things like this get to me):
The poor Twins. They have a model franchise in many ways, drafting and developing talent as well as anyone in the majors, playing sound, fundamental baseball under Gardenhire, contending annually with a small-market budget.

Hey Yankees, hands off the merchandise.

Why why why

Why didn’t we get a quality start from Boof? Is it because he has been having a sub-par month?

Why did the Rocket’s only good game have to be against us? One good game doth not make a great pitcher…especially when he gets paid an obscene amount of money to save the Yankees.

Why have I never watched the Homerun Derby before? Y’all know I will be parked in front of the television watching Morneausey represent (said in a ghetto accent.)

Why do the Yankees dominate every sports publication? The front of Sports Illustrated always headlines something to do with the Yankees. This morning? It was the Rocket’s Come Back to Beat the Crap Out of Those Twins. Bite me.

Why do we (and by “we” I mean most of the Twins fans) hate the Yankees? I defer back to my previous comment that it is the media and Big George that make us hate them. Jeter? I am sure he’s a great guy and any team would love to have him but first you would have to deprogram him. I really want to like them. No, seriously, I do. I don’t want to be the bitter old woman who bitches and moans about the team. And yet, here I find myself doing just that. (Although replace old with older-20’s.

Why do the Twins rate number 11 in John Donovan’s Power Ranking? Granted the Yankees are rated below us at number 17 but they actually are doing poorly. Here is what he had to say about us:

Who doesn’t like the Twins? They’ve got good pitching, or good enough to compete, anyways. They’ve got a scrappy, opportunistic lineup with some power (Torii Hunter and Justin Morneau). They have three All-Stars (those two and Johan Santana). But I wouldn’t take a bet they’ll be playing in October.

WTF? Seriously? You all know how I feel about calling us scrappy!!! (see irrational rant entry here.) What about Mauer? Sure, he was on the DL for a bit but he’s coming back. What about Cuddyer? He’s making some serious plays. Do our pennants not say Champions 1987, 1991, 2002, 2003, 2004, and 2006? Whew, I got a little carried away there. Sorry.

To quote an obscure band that recorded a song titled “Why, why why”
Walking down the streets
You look into a dump
You look into a dump and you say
Why why why why why why
Tell me why ell me why
Tell me why you destroy
And you try and you try to destroy

Ah baseball. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Great Games!
What a great weekend of baseball. Even the fact we lost on Sunday did not detract from the greatness of Baker. Friday we spanked Los Tigres and Baby Jesus got a Grand Slam. However, it did take a barter with the Baseball Gods that if Baby Jesus got some runs in I would cease to mock him being the Hometown Hero for the rest of the roadtrip. So, thanks a lot Baby Jesus.

Baseball Blogging Meet-n-Greet
Saturday a few of the local baseball bloggers met at the Park Tavern to watch the game. I decided to crash the party in order to watch the game with knowledgeable fans. Some of my favorite blogs that I read were represented at the event.

All-Star Rant
I know, I know. It has all been said already and my fellow cubicle-dwellers are sick of me bitching but… What the hell happened? Santana, Morneausey and Hunter are representing the Twins for the AL team but they were not picked by fans. Risa at Curlz and Curveballs (http://www.curlzandcurveballs.blogspot.com/) pretty much covered my rant but I am going to re-state it anyways. Ortiz as first baseman? Why is the DH put at first base? To Amy’s point, that is one of the toughest spots of the field. He has played that position like five times this season. Do the fans not realize that this is still a baseball game? That if they want the American League to win they should vote for a great player? Hey, I know. Why don’t we put the reigning AL MVP, who happens to be a first baseman at the spot? Uh, no thanks, lets put the guy who hits a lot of homeruns but isn’t a defense player. Thanks fans. Okay, before I get too ghetto and take out my hoop earrings I am going to move on.

Yankees or Bust
I have come to the conclusion that the reason the Yankees are a lot of peoples arch-nemesis is not because of the players but mostly because of the media and maybe Steinbrenner. They are America’s team. Even my friends in Tromso, Norway ask for Yankees t-shirts (they had also wanted the “My Governor can beat up your governor” t-shirts when Jesse Ventura was elected.) Anyways, we are starting a four-game stand at Yankee Stadium with Clemens the first pitcher we face. I feel a little tension going into this game and I believe it is affecting my work. All I want to do is read, compare, study, and analyze the stats. I guess we’ll see what happens in the real world of baseball tonight at 6:05 p.m. I may have to leave my happy hour early in order to catch the game. Man, my friends are totally going to mock me.

Randomly random
By the way, anyone else getting nervous about baseball ending too soon?
It is officially half way through the season now and I have been remembering what late October felt like. November, December, January, February and part of March were dull, boring and slightly depressing.

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sonnets from the Portuguese, XLIII