But now there’s only love in the dark/Nothing I can say/a total eclipse of the heart

Jeez, could it take any longer for March?
It appears Denard Span wants to play right now. In admitting my own lack of knowledge for the minors I hadn’t a flipping clue to who Denard Span was. Thanks to TBL (who allowed me to be herded through line) I went through the Free Line (also known as Down on the Farm/Minors) at Twins Fest. She patiently explained that Span is the newest up-and-comer in the minors.
Side note: Those Girls hadn’t had pleasant experiences with Span but I found him social, nice and personable. Hey, I may not have known who the hell he was but I do know how to judge people on first appearances.

And in bad taste…
A-Rod kidding about times he was tested in ‘07

Hey Steinbrenner, zip it
No matter what team you root for (except the Yankees) you are probably sick and tired of obscure, off-the-wall and asinine quotes from the Steinbrennerses. I know I am.
We’d rather be Darth Vader. Let them be the underdog
Everybody that knows sports knows football is tailor-made for performance-enhancing drugs
We feel this is a terrific way to honor our father’s longstanding philanthropic commitment to Tampa

Non-baseball, and not really that important
Eclipsing in the ‘hood
Last night I begrudgingly went outside at 8:48 p.m. to view the eclipse. (Mind you, the temperature was flirting around the zero degree range.) Stacy and I bundled up and stood on our back deck peering at the moon. Here are a few observations from the eclipse:
· My neighborhood is kind of eerie when it is dark and quiet.
· My neighborhood was actually quiet last night.
· Damn cold for an eclipsing.
· I am pretty sure my neighbors don’t appreciate my poor rendition of Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”
· What we were seeing last night was the shadow of our plant’s ass reflecting across the moon…according to Stacy.
· Astronomy is hard.
· The eclipse was kind of boring.

Stacy and I watching the Lunar eclipse

Bailey's wanted to watch it too! (note the lazer eyes!)

Rich Kid, Poor Kid

Santana and Safety – two words that mean the same thing. Man, it was a good game yesterday. I made sure I was available to watch most of it due to the fact I missed the last two. Since we lost those games (I won’t go into bitter filled details) I decided that I had to watch the game since maybe I was the missing factor. Isn’t baseball a fickle, superstition filled game? I got home in the third inning after spending the morning celebrating our countries independence at a snobby neighborhood parade in St. Paul. After watching, and being disappointed, I started drifting into the nap-zone. It was then in the 6th when I was slumbering on the sofa that Dick and Bert invaded my subconscious screaming about a homerun. I peeked and saw that Kubel made the 4-2 lead happen. Yeah Twins. I dozed a little more until the 9th when Dick and Bert again entered my thoughts yelling about another homerun, this time it was Luis Rodriguez (or Uis-Rod as Stacy calls him.) Twins won 6-2.

Whilst sitting in my grey carpeted cubicle wall this afternoon I received an email from Amy regarding the Yankees wanting to get their dirty little paws on our Ace (Santana) and Torii Hunter. What makes me most frustrated is that they feel entitled to get what they want (and by “they” I mean the Baseball Powers That Be.) That it is only a matter of time before they can use their big money to buy a player from us. It reminds me of the story of the Rich Kid and the Poor Kid. The Rich Kid can get anything he wants but he always ends up wanting whatever the Poor Kid has, just for the fact of it. Does anyone really think that the Yankees will be winners if they get Santana or Torii? Right now they have a handful of the best players on their team. The only thing that prevents them from being a Power House is the fact they are playing individually, not as a team. Any other team would jump (leap, pull hair, kick, bite, scratch) to get Jeter, A-Rod, Johnny Damon (maybe less now), The Rocket (say what you may), Chien-Ming Wang, Jorge Posada (my fave), The C’s (Cano and Cairo) and Matsui. I mean, these guys are America’s team, right? Why aren’t they winning everything? Either way, they can’t have our guys until our guys are good and ready to go. I hope that Pohlad really realizes that if he doesn’t pay the money for our top players, we too can end up like the Royals and the Reds.
So, this whole rant came from this lame article from the New York Daily News titled "Santana’s a money pitcher fit for the Bombers' bucks".

Here is a paragraph from the article that made me mad (I don’t even know why I let things like this get to me):
The poor Twins. They have a model franchise in many ways, drafting and developing talent as well as anyone in the majors, playing sound, fundamental baseball under Gardenhire, contending annually with a small-market budget.

Hey Yankees, hands off the merchandise.

Why why why

Why didn’t we get a quality start from Boof? Is it because he has been having a sub-par month?

Why did the Rocket’s only good game have to be against us? One good game doth not make a great pitcher…especially when he gets paid an obscene amount of money to save the Yankees.

Why have I never watched the Homerun Derby before? Y’all know I will be parked in front of the television watching Morneausey represent (said in a ghetto accent.)

Why do the Yankees dominate every sports publication? The front of Sports Illustrated always headlines something to do with the Yankees. This morning? It was the Rocket’s Come Back to Beat the Crap Out of Those Twins. Bite me.

Why do we (and by “we” I mean most of the Twins fans) hate the Yankees? I defer back to my previous comment that it is the media and Big George that make us hate them. Jeter? I am sure he’s a great guy and any team would love to have him but first you would have to deprogram him. I really want to like them. No, seriously, I do. I don’t want to be the bitter old woman who bitches and moans about the team. And yet, here I find myself doing just that. (Although replace old with older-20’s.

Why do the Twins rate number 11 in John Donovan’s Power Ranking? Granted the Yankees are rated below us at number 17 but they actually are doing poorly. Here is what he had to say about us:

Who doesn’t like the Twins? They’ve got good pitching, or good enough to compete, anyways. They’ve got a scrappy, opportunistic lineup with some power (Torii Hunter and Justin Morneau). They have three All-Stars (those two and Johan Santana). But I wouldn’t take a bet they’ll be playing in October.

WTF? Seriously? You all know how I feel about calling us scrappy!!! (see irrational rant entry here.) What about Mauer? Sure, he was on the DL for a bit but he’s coming back. What about Cuddyer? He’s making some serious plays. Do our pennants not say Champions 1987, 1991, 2002, 2003, 2004, and 2006? Whew, I got a little carried away there. Sorry.

To quote an obscure band that recorded a song titled “Why, why why”
Walking down the streets
You look into a dump
You look into a dump and you say
Why why why why why why
Tell me why ell me why
Tell me why you destroy
And you try and you try to destroy

Ah baseball. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Great Games!
What a great weekend of baseball. Even the fact we lost on Sunday did not detract from the greatness of Baker. Friday we spanked Los Tigres and Baby Jesus got a Grand Slam. However, it did take a barter with the Baseball Gods that if Baby Jesus got some runs in I would cease to mock him being the Hometown Hero for the rest of the roadtrip. So, thanks a lot Baby Jesus.

Baseball Blogging Meet-n-Greet
Saturday a few of the local baseball bloggers met at the Park Tavern to watch the game. I decided to crash the party in order to watch the game with knowledgeable fans. Some of my favorite blogs that I read were represented at the event.

All-Star Rant
I know, I know. It has all been said already and my fellow cubicle-dwellers are sick of me bitching but… What the hell happened? Santana, Morneausey and Hunter are representing the Twins for the AL team but they were not picked by fans. Risa at Curlz and Curveballs (http://www.curlzandcurveballs.blogspot.com/) pretty much covered my rant but I am going to re-state it anyways. Ortiz as first baseman? Why is the DH put at first base? To Amy’s point, that is one of the toughest spots of the field. He has played that position like five times this season. Do the fans not realize that this is still a baseball game? That if they want the American League to win they should vote for a great player? Hey, I know. Why don’t we put the reigning AL MVP, who happens to be a first baseman at the spot? Uh, no thanks, lets put the guy who hits a lot of homeruns but isn’t a defense player. Thanks fans. Okay, before I get too ghetto and take out my hoop earrings I am going to move on.

Yankees or Bust
I have come to the conclusion that the reason the Yankees are a lot of peoples arch-nemesis is not because of the players but mostly because of the media and maybe Steinbrenner. They are America’s team. Even my friends in Tromso, Norway ask for Yankees t-shirts (they had also wanted the “My Governor can beat up your governor” t-shirts when Jesse Ventura was elected.) Anyways, we are starting a four-game stand at Yankee Stadium with Clemens the first pitcher we face. I feel a little tension going into this game and I believe it is affecting my work. All I want to do is read, compare, study, and analyze the stats. I guess we’ll see what happens in the real world of baseball tonight at 6:05 p.m. I may have to leave my happy hour early in order to catch the game. Man, my friends are totally going to mock me.

Randomly random
By the way, anyone else getting nervous about baseball ending too soon?
It is officially half way through the season now and I have been remembering what late October felt like. November, December, January, February and part of March were dull, boring and slightly depressing.

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sonnets from the Portuguese, XLIII

RedSox Swept Yankees? Hey Chicken Little, is the sky falling?

Is it bad that I laugh at the Yankees getting swept by the Red Sox? Is it bad that my two favorite teams are the Twins and whoever is playing the Yankees? Man, I sound like a Packer vs. Vikings football fan. Yikes! It is not that I hate the Yankees, they just make me mental!

In Twins news: The only non-televised game this weekend ended up being the only one we won. D’oh! Friday was painful, Saturday sounded funny and Sunday was poor. Come on boys!!! Don’t make me break out my lucky charms again *insert squeaky Irish accent saying “Ye can’t get me lucky charms!”* Oh, I know Amy is beating her head right now and that makes me giggle.

Tonight the Twins are back in against the Indians! Watch out for some girls wearing pink shirts that call themselves “Grady’s Ladies.” Eek! I guess it is no worse than the girls here wearing pink Joe “Baby Jesus” Mauer jerseys.
Oh and Hi Ho Silva is pitching. Let’s sit back and judge!

Do you believe in miracles?

Yeah, that is a hokey play off the World’s Greatest Sporting Moment EVER! Hey, I am from Minnesota: Land of Herb Brooks, breeder of 1980’s Team USA Hockey, red carpet event for the Disney Miracle movie. I can get away with it.

And onto baseball…
Twins 5, Yankees 1
Last night was a great game, not just because we won but because we actually played! Ortiz is keeping strong and on the fast track to be Minnesota’s Darling. I used my mad-remote control skills last night in order to flip between The Game and Criminal Minds/CSI: NY. I believe I was successful.

On a personal girly note: I was much bummed to see that Bartlett wasn’t playing last night. Dick & Bert said it was because he had a sore leg but other articles said it was because of his stats. Man, can you give the guy a break? Hello? We leave Hi Ho Silva in for six ugly innings and Ponson in for 5 2/3? Huh!

Segueing from Pitch Bitching onto our Cy Young…

Reading in a CNN Sports Illustrated article that highlights Terry Ryan's decision of signing three Journeymen onto our rotation:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/jon_heyman/04/11/baseball0416/index.html

Despite the recent setback in negotiations, the Twins aren't abandoning hope that they can get a deal done with their ace (Santana).
And why not? Surprising results are their trademark.

I am not sure if they mean that in a positive way or not. Hmm…

In other Sporting News:
The Wild lost the first playoff game in Anaheim last night.

I am trying to hang on and watch the game!

Twins 1, Yankees 7 – Bottom of the 8th

Why don’t ya’ll just kick me while I am down!?!?

I missed the first two innings of the game but Amy called me at the end of the 1st to tell me that we were already down 2 – 0. At the time I was stuck in the carwash, marveling over the Tri-Color Foam (which wasn’t the brilliant jewel tones as advertised). I was impressed by the fact that the Tri-Color Foam smelled just like a Dairy Queen Cherry Artic Blast Mr. Misty Freeze. Mmm…I want one now!

Positive notes:
I really like when we (the Twins) wear the dark blue uniforms. They look snazzy, especially Bartlett. *sigh* I “heart” him.

Even though I don’t like the Yankees I do really love Jorge Posada. He is such a classy guy.

We are one step closer to our new ballpark!
Board Ruling Favors Twins in Park Bid:
http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20070410&content_id=1890964&vkey=news_min&fext=.jsp&c_id=min

Alternative Sporting Note:
GO WILD!!! They will start the first round of playoffs against the Ducks!

Twins 2, Yankees 8 - Ouch!

Twins 2, Yankees 8 - Ouch!

Here is my limerick
I will not rant
I will not whine
I will not complain
About wasted time
Yes, it hurt
Yes, I cried
I will not sigh
Over wasted time

I thought I would share some snippets from the phone conversations between Amy and myself during the game last night:

After the commercial for Spotlight on Joe Mauer Night (Baby Jesus is being honored all through the night plus a post-game show. You know, just in case you didn’t know everything about him.)
J: Did you just see that commercial and hear Baby Jesus’ (Joe Mauer’s) new theme song?
A: Yeah *insert singing*
J: *Insert singing along*

After Kubel’s missed catch
J: And that is why we don’t particularly like him!
A: True that, sistah!

Jeeter’s walk after being “hit” by a pitch
J: Did Ponson just hit Jeeter in the crotch? I think he purposely walked into that!

A: *Insert laughter*
J: *Insert inappropriate comment*
A: *Insert a return inappropriate comment*

A-Rod: Love vs. Hate
No one runs more hot and cold than the Yankee fans regarding A-Rod. I find the articles and debates regarding him (especially since last year) very interesting. I guess now that he has five home-runs under his gilded belt he is loved. Well, except that one time when he missed a catch and was booed, then he was hated. But, he did hit two homeruns that game so the fans forgave him. Oh, except he missed a foul fly and they booed him again. Man, it would be really hard to be A-Rod. Good thing he has piles of money to keep him warm.

A Random Trip Around Baseball:
I saw a photo of C.J. Wilson, pitcher for Texas Rangers. His “stance” looks like an inverted Karate Kid crane pose.