Well, there is just a lot of info I have to share including some risqué pictures

Friday 5/4: Twins 0, RedSox 2 - L
Saturday 5/5: Twins 2, RedSox 1 – W
Sunday 5/6: Twins 3, RedSox 4 – L (but we really tried to fight back!)

I was in attendance at the game on Friday to watch Hi Ho Silva pitch “not badly.” When is it a good thing when our pitchers do “not bad?” Anyways, I was at the game celebrating my birthday with my posse (minus Amy who is finally back from Hawaii.) We started out at Matty B’s (bar owned by Matt Birk, MN Viking’s player) then wandered over to the Metrodome to get good seats. I had beer, brat, pretzel and cotton candy. I think the sugar high was worse than a hang over! Whenever I go to a game with J.B. we always have a standing bet around Torii Hunter. J.B. is not a Torii fan and well, I am. We have a $1 on every time Torii is up to bat. If Torii strikes out, flies out or otherwise does not make it to first base I pay J.B. a dollar. If Torii touches first on a walk, single, fielder’s choice, homerun or whatever, I get a dollar. Friday was a very good game for me. I made $4! AND, I got to rub it in J.B.’s face that Torii is on fire! (Currently Torii is at a 21-game hitting streak.) After the game we went to Kieran’s for post-game libations.

The Word on Baby Jesus (Mauer):
The Hometown Hero is on the 15-Day DL for a quadri-something muscle strain. I may mock Baby Jesus (understatement?) but I do know that not having him will hurt us.
In non-baseball news:
Joe “Baby Jesus” Mauer was chosen as one of America’s Most Eligible Bachelors by Hollywood Extra. Tee hee hee (evil laugh). Oh man, this is going to be good. Not only does he have a write up and television spot on the show he also is the prize in the “Win a Date with Joe Mauer” contest.

Click here to read his article on the Extra website:
A Great Catch - Literally!
http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2007/05/a_great_catch_literally.html

Other Twins Game News:
We lost on Friday; I was there to watch the lazy loss. We won on Saturday; I watched that one on T.V. and enjoyed the win for Santana. We lost on Sunday with Ponson on the mound. He has had one good game out of all his starts and it wasn’t Sunday’s. That was a sad show.

Outside of the Twins Baseball News:

Everyone (and I mean every publication) is talking about Clemens’s signing with the Yankees. Like this is a big surprise! Hello? He signed a one-year contract worth $28,000,022. That is more than a ¼ of the Twins entire salary.

Speaking of Twins salary…
Quoting John Donovan from Sports Illustrated
“I'll take Bud Selig's job for a day, if I can get his prorated salary, too. Actually, I was talking to an NL GM in spring training about the culture around the Twins. Not only do they hire good people but they keep good people. Few organizations engender such loyalty -- I'm talking scouts, coaches, secretaries, you name it. It's a credit to Terry Ryan, a man who refused to even talk to other franchises about GM openings when his team was on the contraction chopping block.”

Non-baseball Sporting News:

It was a good fight but the Rangers are out of the NHL playoffs. They really tried but couldn’t get past the Sabers yesterday.

Random Photos:

Here are a couple discriminating photos of Snake after many hours of celebrating. I believe he has defiled the sign from the Kieran's:

Hello, my name is Jen and I am a bad baseball blogger!

All together now: Hi Jen!

Here is my list of excuses:
It was my birthday last night and I claimed it my “special day”
Amy isn’t here to say funny things (she is on vacation in Hawaii)
Sidney Ponson was pitching and my mom always said “if you don’t have anything nice to say…”
There was an immigration rally going on
There were only 25 people in attendance at the Tampa Bay game
My cat’s breath smells like cat food

Here are some real thoughts:
Ponson pitched and did a pretty darn good job.
The DevilRays looked like a blooper real with their errors
Cuddles McDimples (Cuddyer) did a windmill and somersault
Barty (Bartlett) wore short sleeves so we could see his tattoo
This Friday I am celebrating my baseball birthday with a group of friends and co-workers. We are going to Matty B’s bar (owned by Vikings Matt Birk) and then trying to be one of the first 5,000 fans so we can get a Little Piranha’s (a la Bert Blyleven Pirantahs) fishing lure.

In other sporting news…
The Rangers hosted Buffalo last night for game four of hockey. It was a nail biter. I got sucked in, big time! The Rangers were up 2 – 1 when Buffalo made a shot on goal that needed to be reviewed (with only 13.4 seconds left!) I actually felt stressed out waiting for the video-review people to make a call. Why do I get so emotionally vested in random sports events? You all have to remember the Winter Olympics and Men’s Curling? Anyways, goal was no good and Rangers won! The series is tied 2-2.

Mild Weather and Mild Baseball

Cleveland 7, Twins 3 in 12 innings

Today I hurt: my head hurts, my heart hurts and my Twins hurts.

12 innings are summarized with…
Hi Ho Silva did averagely okay
One inning of great offense
Barty is struggling for his SS groove
Morneausey is having a bad streak
One grape martini, one blueberry vodka mix, one Philly sushi roll, edamame and three hours of gossip all prevented me from catching the first four innings
Jesse Crain (or Crainadian by Pulling a Blyleven) did not do so well (understatement of the year?)
When Torii hit his homerun they played the StarWars theme song.

RedSox Swept Yankees? Hey Chicken Little, is the sky falling?

Is it bad that I laugh at the Yankees getting swept by the Red Sox? Is it bad that my two favorite teams are the Twins and whoever is playing the Yankees? Man, I sound like a Packer vs. Vikings football fan. Yikes! It is not that I hate the Yankees, they just make me mental!

In Twins news: The only non-televised game this weekend ended up being the only one we won. D’oh! Friday was painful, Saturday sounded funny and Sunday was poor. Come on boys!!! Don’t make me break out my lucky charms again *insert squeaky Irish accent saying “Ye can’t get me lucky charms!”* Oh, I know Amy is beating her head right now and that makes me giggle.

Tonight the Twins are back in against the Indians! Watch out for some girls wearing pink shirts that call themselves “Grady’s Ladies.” Eek! I guess it is no worse than the girls here wearing pink Joe “Baby Jesus” Mauer jerseys.
Oh and Hi Ho Silva is pitching. Let’s sit back and judge!

Twins 6, Mariners 5 - the last inning was a nail biter

Minnesota Twins 6, Mariners 5

Whew, it was a pretty scary ending and ya’ll know how I don’t like scary movies. As the game progressed it was less about the status of the game and more about getting the W(in) for Santana.

Tonight I headed over to Amy’s apartment to watch the game and celebrate her signing away her life and closing on her first house (townhouse in Maple Grove). We watched the game whilst eating pizza.

Here are a few observations and comments tossed around the game viewing (please remember that we love baseball, understand the way it is played and respect the talent and skills it takes, however we also can be kind of girly):

· Low and behold it is Baby Jesus’ (Joe Mauer) birthday. Happy Birthday Baby Jesus!!! 24, man I am old!
· In the third inning I caught the Joe Mauer Birthday Montage that FSN produced.
· In honor of Joe’s birthday he got a hit and got hit (a nasty pitch to the elbow…ouch!)
· Bert Blyleven saying not once but twice that the pitchers are the best athletes on the field. Biased? Nah!
· Amy kept getting distracted by Sherrill’s (Mariner’s) pitch delivery. It was kind of a Vegas Showgirl kick.
· Sexon (1B Mariners) is 6’9” which is very tall when I am only 5’3”. We liked to compare him to other players that made it to first base. Casilla was only to his elbow.
· This next observation is in honor of Amy and her love of Morneau. It has become commonplace that when Morneausey strikes out he likes to say a particular swear word (starts with F and ends with UCK). Anyways, I think the camera people are catching on and make a point to not show him during that moment. Tonight they must have forgotten because in the slow motion replay of his strike out we got to see Morneausey drop the F-Bomb in slow-mo. Nice.
· Corrections! Bert is going for a triple threat. He just commented that pitchers are the best athletes. Third time’s a charm.

Random non-baseball news:
· The Wild are in Anaheim playing their little Minnesota Glory hearts out trying to line up the match. Right now it is 3 games (Anaheim) to 1 Wild. Come on guys!!! Captain Stanley would like a vacation to the Xcel Center.
· I washed my hands in Amy’s bathroom and dried them with a collections edition of a Harry Potter “Hogswart’s” hand towel. Nice touch. I hope she puts that out in her new place!

Twins 11, Seattle 2 - Felt secure enough to go to bed early

Ah, life vest! You make me feel so secure. Kind of like Ortiz in our pitching line up. Oh, if only Silva could obtain that status.

Minnesota Twins 11, Seattle 2

Damn you West Coast for having the game start at 9:00 p.m. This girl can’t stay awake until midnight! Especially when I wake up at 5:45 a.m. Argh! Another bad side effect…It is too late to call Amy with random baseball talk.

You know, it was a good thing that Stacy was sitting in the dining room last night. She may have not have been paying attention to me but if she wasn’t there I would have looked like a crazy person talking to myself. Well, crazier than normal.

If you were quietly observing me in the corner here are a few things you may have overheard me say whilst watching the Baseball game…

Oh good! They have Bartlett back in
Hey! Baby Jesus is going to be 25 on Thursday, man I am old
We are on fire!
Uh oh, Bert already said something wrong. I think Dick just gently corrected his blooper about a triple versus a double
The pirantas are back? When did they leave? Hey, I saw piranhas in the Bahamas. Not that I saw them outside of a glass box aquarium or anything
Dude, 7 to 1? I guess I can go to bed early!
Whoa! The Wild are up 4 to 1. That is going to be a good game. I bet Gregg is really hung over tomorrow.
Stacy! Come look! There is a big fight on the ice. So, this Anaheim guy hit the Wild guy but it was a bad, unsportsmanlike like hit. Look! Did you see that?
What? They are walking Morneausey to load the bases. I hate when they do that. I feel bad for the next player up. It is like he is the last picked for dodge ball. Come on Hunter!!!
Holy Shit! Hunter just hit a homerun! *insert evil laughter* I guess that will teach the Mariners to think it would be better to face Hunter than Morneausey. Mmmwwwahahaaha
Oh, one of the Wild players is on the ice “taking a lap”. The announcer just said that he felt bad for the Refs in Anaheim who inherit the fight issue. Man, I gotta watch that on Thursday. Come on Wild!!!No Stacy, don’t worry. I won’t be double-timing between hockey and baseball. I won’t cheat on baseball that way.
Uh, it is almost 11:00, I am going to bed.

Sailing the Seas and Missing Baseball

I have been removed from baseball and the MN Twins the last four days due to my brief stint on a cruise ship. Here are the stats from the three games:
Tampa Bay Run
Thursday 4/12: Twins 3, TB 2 – Win
Friday 4/13: Twins 2, TB 4 – Loss
Saturday 4/14: Twins 12, TB 5 – Win
Sunday 4/15: Twins 4, TB 6 – Loss

Next run is at Seattle! Sheesh, I don’t know if I can make it through an entire 9:00 p.m. CT start time but I will try!