Monday, December 31, 2007

I’ll be alright on my own/Don’t worry about me/Pack your bags, your alibis/And do whatever’s gonna set you free

Girl’s night
Stacy sublet Lucy to my aunt and uncle last night so we had a good old fashioned Girls Night. We saw Juno, ate Thai food (Tum Rup Thai) and went music shopping at Cheapo’s. We also (which may embarrass Stacy for stating this publicly) watched the fifth disc of the sixth season of Gilmore Girls. I spent the whole evening comment on how I was freaked out/excited that Stacy was actually sitting down and chilling with me. (Being a single parent with an exuberant blog community keeps her going.)

Juno, the film
Honestly, there are very few films out there that whilst I am watching them I covet the soundtrack. Juno is one of them (the other being Elizabethtown.) First, the film was amazing. Hands down one of the most entertaining and funny films of the year, if not more. Second, the soundtrack is absolutely amazing. Seriously, check it out.

Music, the addiction
Being inspired by the soundtrack of Juno and being conveniently located across the street from the city’s greatest used music store, Cheapo’s. Well, since I have no willpower and/or control AND they have the greatest Modern Rock collection I left with four CDs:

Neon Bible by Arcade Fire (yes, I finally broke down and bought it, damn hype)
America by Romantica (I decided to give back to one of the local bands)
Scottish Fiction by Idlewild (I thought I would give them a try since loria has been recommending them)
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace by Foo Fighters (to prep for the concert in February)

New Year’s Resolution – Schmesolutions
I am in the top ten percentile of lame resolution makers. Why? Well, because I make resolutions that I know I will keep. Exhibit A: I will not eat any Blue Cheese dressing. Fact: I hate Blue Cheese dressing. Exhibit B: I will not purchase a Colbie Caillat album. Fact: I can’t stand her. That being said here are some lame albeit real resolutions for 2008:
I will not purchase a whole CD when I only want three or less songs off the album.
I will try not to mock Vegan Joe and his quirky (drunken) statements (oh, and I won’t make fun of his virtual-reality dragon named Bolt.)
I may or may not purchase a house and/or townhouse.
I will go and visit my Grams.
I will teach Lucy three more songs that are not children’s music (I am thinking Pink Floyd, Ramones and Toto)

Look for my baseball resolutions in April 2008!

Happy New Year’s!!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

And at the show on Tuesday/She was in her mindset/Tempered furs and spangled boots

To make this officially basebally
Here is Gregg (who hates to be referenced in my blog but I am desperate) holding a sign. If any of you knew Gregg you would know that he hates signs, the wave, throwing back opposing homerun balls and our mascot.

Seriously, there isn’t anything going on in the world of baseball. Heck, there isn’t even a “classic” game being aired on FSN. What’s a gal to do? Well, this gal is going to write about non-baseball stuff.

Half-assed Music Review
Babyshambles. Right now I have been driving everyone in the Land O’Cubicles bonkers by talking about Pete Doherty and the newly released “Shotter’s Nation.” Actually, I am listening to it right now whilst sitting in my cubicle (not working, naturally.) I am a new Babyshambles fan but have been a Libertines fan for a while. Shotter’s Nation is fan-fucking-tastic (I had to swear, it is so Pete-like.)
Anyways, check out this photo of the band. I mean, you can’t get any more rockstar than that! You can practically smell the gin, Carlsberg beer and stale cigarette (?) smoke.

I am about to embark on the most insane thing of my 28 years on this planet (besides that one road trip Michelle and I took to see Joey McIntyre in concert in Chicago a few years ago.) House buying. Holy crap, my OCD is in such disarray. I have no freaking clue what I am doing. One part of me wants to read all “Buying for Dummies” and bank brochures whilst the other part wants to just close my eyes and sign on the line. Yeah, I know which side will win but wouldn’t it be more fun to just do it blindfolded?

Overheard on my bus
I overheard the following conversation yesterday afternoon between two preppy looking teenagers:
Teen girl 1: Oh my god! Tara just texted that that Nick and Miley are dating!
Teen girl 2: No way! He is way too good for her.

At this point I turned off my iPod to eavesdrop on their conversation (or “convo” if you are 14 years old.)

Teen girl 1: Okay, I just told Tara that had to be a rumor.
Teen girl 2:

Okay, so the scariest part of their conversation so far? The fact I know who the hell they are talking about. Nick Jonas (of the Jonas Brothers) and Miley Cirus (of Hannah Montana.) Don’t ask me why. Seriously. Don’t.

Teen girl 2: Well, Joe is the cutest one anyways.
Teen girl 1: No, Nick is.

And at this point I am smiling to myself remembering back 18 years ago when my friends and I got into fights about which New Kids on the Block member was cuter (Joey, hands down.)

Teen girl 1: Well, Joe wears a purity ring to prove that he’s going to stay pure until marriage.
Teen girl 2: Oh. (sounding very bummed out) that is lame. Do they all plan that?

At this point I had to cough in order to cover up my snort of laughter.

Teen girl 1: That’s okay. He may just be saying that because they have to be good role models.
Teen girl 2: Yeah, I hope so.

Oh man, I am old.

Amy, that is why I was looking up Jonas Brothers on Wikipedia when you called…not because I have a new obsession with underage boy bands.

And because I can't resist...
The Kooks – She moves in her own way

Monday, December 24, 2007

‘Roid Rage/Human Growth Rage

I sure do hope spring training comes soon. They only things filling the sports news slots are reactions to the Mitchell Report (ba, ba, bum) and rumors. Skip to the end for non-Mitchell Report baseballness.

We have all commented on or mocked the Mitchell Report (which now has an Olympic like theme for the opening, thank you) that was released last week. My Land O’Cubicles has been in a flurry taking names down and keeping track of who is reported, who denies and who admits usage. With the release of Knoblauch’s name many of my crazy-drinking-baseball-game-attendees have been preening righteously. I guess after ten years the hurt feelings have not gone away. To quote Mr. Darcy:

Maybe it’s that I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others, or the offenses against me. My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.” – Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen.

I think the one thing that was highlighted for me, in a very shallow way, is Schilling martyring himself out in the following article:
Schilling Calls on Clemens to give up Cy Youngs if Rocket doesn’t clear name

Now, it appears that Clemens is speaking out (via Youtube):

I guess we will get all the details in his interview with 60 Minutes.

Twins Fest 2007!
January 25 – 27 will have the Metrodome all in a flutter with meeting our new players and sighing in relief over the ones we kept. This lipgloss-wearing gal will most likely be there but you won’t see her standing in any autograph line. (I just don’t have the attention span and dedication for that.) I am more of a people watcher, early ticket buyer and shopper. I am betting that many of you will be there also. Who will you be standing in line for?

Dear Santa, all I want is to get out of this cubicle sometime today!

12 Days of Christmas in the ‘Hood
Each year I create my own version of 12 Days of warned, there is blatant use of non-Christmasy things!
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me

… One roll of Crime Scene Do Not Cross tape
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true my love gave to me
… Two shootings on the bus
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true my love gave to me

… Three members of the Bloods (gang) arrested
On the 4th day of Christmas my true my love gave to me

… Four scents in the Southside perfume (chicken wings, Drakkar for Men, Marijuana, Mad Dog 40-40)
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me

…The Ghetto Number Five
On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me

… Six Chicken Wings for $1 (King o’ Wings Shack)
On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me

… Seven suburban co-workers educated about designer LSD drugs
On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me

… Eight ratty fake fur trench coats (that need a good combing)
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me

… Nine pirated DVD’s for sale
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me

… Ten babies’ mamas
On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me

…Eleven Metro Transit police on one bus
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me

…Twelve Shot Spotters in a three block radius

My Christmas Cubicle Reading
‘Twas the day before Christmas Break
And the office was quiet as a grave
Only the die hard employees were around
Due to boss absences mischief was abound

The remaining workers were snug in their cubicles
Watching the clocks for ‘time to go’ visuals
With Cookies being shared
And Christmas Music in the air
Would four o’clock here get here?

Now Clients, now Computer, now Telephone and Ergonomic Keyboard!
On Co-workers, on Bell Ringers, on Sugar Free Candy and Starbucks
From the IDS Building to South Minneapolis
Now go away, go away, go away all!

Alas, it was only noon and many hours were missing
It was time to invent some office games to keep busy
There was Chair Spinning and Office Supply Treasure Hunt
My team was losing it was time to punt (nice rhyme, eh?)

Four o’clock came and we sprang from our adjustable chairs
Away we flew like we hadn’t a worry or care
But they heard me exclaim with glee
Happy Holidays to all and to all a good day off
After all we still have to be Politically Correct now don’t we.

And to finalize my Video Advent Calendar….

Video Advent Calendar – Today is the day!!!
From my previous post you may be able to tell I am having a hell of a time finding that good old Christmas spirit. So, in hopes of unburying it from my cold, dead heart I give you…Alvin and The Chipmunks. I was the prime age for these guys when it was popular 15/20 years ago.

Alvin and the Chipmunks – Christmas Music Melody

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Live those dreams/Scheme those schemes/Got to hit/hit me/hit me with those laser beams

Well, jingle freaking bells.
Just call me Scrooge. I can’t find my freaking Christmas spirit. I wrapped all my fucking Christmas presents whilst listening to Christmas music and yet….nothing. I am watching Elf and drinking cocoa and…zilch. Maybe to capture the true Christmas spirit I need to drink orange juice and coconut rum whilst listening to Led Zeppelin.

God is a Middle Aged Woman (the title of an Ezra Furman song)
It must be true. Today I was going to torture myself by heading to Target/Wal-Mart/Grocery store to finish/start my Christmas shopping. Well, maybe the Gods were smiling down on me and taking pity since there was absolutely no one at the stores. Oh, it could also be the fact it was 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning in the middle of snow/slush storm. Either way, thanks to all who stayed away from me!

Just look at her, for fucks sake
“JenJen-lookit-JennyJen-lookatme.” What, Lucy? “Lookatme-JenJenJenny-watchme-Jen.” I am watching. “Jen-watchmewatchme-JenJenny.” Yes, Lucy, I am watching. “JennyJenJen-lookwatchmelook.” Seriously, Lucy…I am watching. “JenJen-lookatmelookatme-Jen.” Yeah, that was kind of annoying to read, right? Try listening to it. Sheesh, I don’t think Lucy gets the whole “cause and affect” theory right now…Lucy, when I answer, you can stop asking. Last night I took her to the Midtown Global Market to run around. We were lucky to listen to some live music being provided by Gumption Trap (difficult to explain what style of music they play but kids sure love dancing to it.) Maybe it is because I am not a mom and only an auntie that I feel this pressing need to make sure she is extra safe and okay at all times (borderline smothering.) I have sworn not to be a Full House episode and bring home the wrong baby.

Video Advent Calendar – 2 ½ Days (one of them working) until Christmas Eve
Thanks to Amy for the idea of today’s video. Amy leaves for North Dakota tomorrow morning to surround herself around family and we were talking about how that can tense a body up. Well, she quoted a little Frankie Goes to Hollywood and an idea was born. Not only do I give you a little “Relax,” I give you the banned version.

Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Relax

Note: It was very difficult to find a few lines out of “Relax” that wouldn’t make me blush knowing my aunt was reading them.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

“I just wrote the best song I’ve ever written – hell, I just wrote the best song that anybody’s ever written!”

Irving Berlin quoted the morning after he wrote White Christmas

Thou shall not throw someone under the bus
I was reading the sports headlines this morning and these two stuck out:
Schilling: If guilty, Clemens should return Cy Young awards
Compared to A-Rod, Michael Jordan and Joe Montana were playing for peanuts.

Schilling sure likes to talk a lot, doesn’t he? He’s always calling someone out for something or other.
I know, I know. I obviously don’t like A-Rod so it makes me prejudice towards any stories.


I aspire to this?
Here is what I did this morning:
Cleaned my office (with cleaning products)
Downloaded Ezra Furman & the Harpoons album
Attempted to flirt with the Starbucks guy this morning
Said eight swear words (due to a paperclip getting stuck in my damn keyboard)
Updated my calendar
Drank coffee

Well, hells bells. What am I going to do for the rest of the f-ing day?

One more time, go ahead, ask me one more time
In the Land O’Cubicles - In response to the question “Any big holiday plans?” I will now be answering with “Nope.” This is mostly because I am sick of responding, replying and being polite. The last two meetings I had started with this question. Hey, I am not anti-holiday but I am anti-wasting-my-time.

RIP: Orange and Blue
Lucy’s two Beta fish have gone to the giant fish tank (that sat overnight to make sure the water was filtered) in the sky. Orange (the red fish) and Blue (the purple fish) were attempted to be replaced by Stacy, alas only half of the duo is miraculously back. It’s a good thing Lucy is only two years old and can be easily fooled.

Video Advent Calendar – 4 days until The Day
I decided to be a good holiday girl and use a traditional song.

Bing Crosby – White Christmas (stickman version)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Yo Frodo, what you doin’ wearing the ring’/All powerful jewelry, is that your new thing’

SBG posted yesterday that the Mariners are interested in Hi Ho Silva “The Chief” and the numbers being thrown around are four years for $44 million.

Low and behold, I have added a few new links to my sidebar in hopes of giving props to the right kind of people.

Jeff Shreve – displaced MN Twins fan (with devilishly good taste in music)
Babes Love Baseball
Yeah, Buddy
K-Bro’s Blog
Win Twins
And a special shout out (man, I hate that term) to Curlz of Curlz & Curveballs to give her a gentle reminder to update her damn blog.

Non-Baseball News

Musica Musica
* My top new band found in 2007, Travis, is set to record a new album in February
* Conor Oberst (of Bright Eyes) is playing two “on the down-low” concerts December 29 and 30 at the 400 Bar. What’s the hush-hush all about?
* Foley, Snake, Patrick and I will be rocking out at the Foo Fighters in February
* Wednesday night is a big line up at First Avenue with Belfast Cowboys, Romantica and Stook. To quote the Clash, will I stay or will I go?
* You can sample The Feelings brand (spanking) new single at their Myspace page. It is pretty damn catchy.

* The local publication, The City Pages posted The Year in Music 2007.
* Any Mika fans out there? I am debating whether or not to go to his show in February (Feb 6, First Ave.) and I am curious to know if anyone has seen him before and recommends his live show. I just haven’t heard much from him except one song, which I liked.
* Night of Southern Rock with Marshall Tucker Band, Georgia Satellites and Atlanta Rhythm Section is playing in January at the Hinckley Casino. Throw in a little .38 Special and I am so there.
* I am currently listening to the NPR: Live Concert Podcast of Art Brut and just realized that I love them.

Video Advent Calendar – 5 more days until Christmas Eve (when I celebrate with my family)
So thanks to one of my co-workers in our San Fran office, I found out about this show on HBO called Flight of the Conchords. I just rented the first season on DVD which made me laugh out loud. The video below is in honor of Vegan Joe.

Flight of the Conchords – Frodo, Don’t Wear the Ring

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Happy 100th Blog Entry…to me!

100th post! Can you freaking believe? Well, a few of you can because you are still here reading after a year. I guess I should do something monumental. Maybe a tribute? Naw, I will do something shallow and simple.

To honor my 100th post here is a list of a 100 things about me, Jen, who obsessively watches baseball, who likes to gossip, mock people and well…just read the list and you will find it out

1. I am first and foremost a Minnesota Twins fan
2. I started this blog on January 29, 2007
3. I call Joe Mauer “Baby Jesus” and I sincerely hope it doesn’t offend anyone but that’s how the cookie crumbles
4. I ride the Ghetto #5 bus and I actually like it. It gives me great stories to share
5. I read trashy romance novels and I am only slightly ashamed of that fact
6. I hate the suburbs
7. I got to happy hour every Monday night at Rossi’s with the Monday Night Happy Hour Crew (my judgmental co-workers are just jealous because they aren’t included)
8. I love Brit rock!!! All of it, classic, indie, pop…
9. The only charitable contribution I am giving to right now is for purely selfish reasons (MPR’s 89.3 The Current, I like the free CD)
10. Amy made me like her nerdy Sci-Fi shows and I haven’t forgiven her
11. I have a crush on Geof from the FoodNetwork show “Ace of Cakes”
12. My Sidekick cell phone has an AC/DC Highway to Hell cover
13. I like knowing someone who knows someone who knows bands and musicians
14. My first ever blog started on March 10, 2005 and it is still going strong (I don’t discuss baseball on there unless I talk about why I am hung-over)
15. I have been working in the Land O’Cubicles (my office) for almost eight years (I celebrated my 21st birthday in a cubicle)
16. I played racquetball for fun but then I spent more time making up songs and dances that I never won
17. Coffee is the first thing I think about in the morning and I am not ashamed of that
18. I still tell the story of how I got backstage at the Duran Duran concert two years ago
19. I like movies and television shows where things explode
20. I work in downtown Minneapolis in the IDS Building (3rd floor only)
21. I find myself blogging about mullets more than I should
22. For the last five years I have celebrated by birthday by going to a Twins game
23. I have a giant foam finger (for Twins games) and I am not afraid to use it
24. I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 25
25. I have read the Harry Potter books but not the Lord of the Rings series
26. I “heart” Orlando Bloom
27. I am almost OCD when it comes to my morning routine (Awake – 5:30, Dry hair – 6:15, prepare coffee – 6:35, walk out door – 6:41)
28. I hate deer
29. I am kind of pissed that when I did all my traveling around Europe I didn’t have a digital camera
30. I have vacationed in Walnut Grove, MN and have worn a bonnet running through the fields in simulation to Little House on the Prairie…twice
31. I have had my nose pierced for a few years now and I often forget that I have it until I get a weird look from a new person in my office
32. The first CD I got was the Sound of Music soundtrack
33. My favorite sushi roll is the Lobster Roll from Martini Blu
34. I like to drink Cider, Blue Moon, Riesling wine, Vodka tonics
35. I really, really like Chic flicks but I hate slapstick comedy (with few exceptions)
36. I keep spamming my friends about the following bands: The Feeling, the Kooks, 22-20s, the Fratellis and Travis.
37. My job title is Communications Consultant
38. My favorite CSI show is CSI: New York (and that’s mostly because the detectives are hotter)
39. I am a little weirded out by the fact my Aunt Karin and I have similar taste in guys
40. I love the smell of vanilla frosting, freshly mowed grass and lilacs
41. I like using the term Hillbilly Heroin
42. I have been brainwashed by the giant company I work for to say “Holiday” instead of “Christmas”
43. I take baseball very personally and any attacks made on the sport, the Twins or my fan-ness will be met with an unfiltered response. Be warned
44. I live for office gossip
45. I hate nature
46. Evidently I have a “type” – struggling musicians
47. I take revenge very seriously
48. I keep trying to give away my cat but I would be sad if someone really took her
49. My niece Lucy is the coolest person in the world (hey, a toddler that sings “Livin on a Prayer” “Listen to the Money Talk” and “Margaretville”…yeah, that’s damn cool)
50. I swear. A lot
51. I am entirely way too dependent on spell-check
52. Sometimes spell-check pisses me off and I wish I could issue it a challenge
53. Chuck Norris jokes make me laugh (Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink)
54. Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy make me laugh harder (If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I’m a coward.)
55. I am not scared of clowns. I am scared of clowns that stand off by themselves and wave at children and then follow them home to kill their family…thanks to that episode of Supernatural.
56. I am obsessed with hating the Wiggles
57. The cake part of a cupcake is empty calories, it is all about the frosting
58. My co-workers like to put me in hypothetical situations that scare me, just to see how I would react
59. I automatically hate the Yankees but I am trying to be a little more open-minded
60. I think in an interview you should be asked “If you were a potluck item, what would you be?” We have had a lot more chips and soda people hired in the last year.
61. My cubicle anthem is the album “Back in Black” by AC/DC
62. I very rarely wear red
63. I like wearing black nail polish
64. I can’t figure out what to get for my tattoo
65. I know the lyrics to “Whoomp, there it is”
66. I saw Joey McIntyre (from New Kids on the Block) in concert four years ago, in Chicago, which I roadtripped with my friend, specifically to see him in concert
67. I always wanted a pony and never got one. However, now that I could potentially get my own I don’t want one, they are kind of scary
68. I love cover bands
69. My favorite thing to say is “Try to fight the stereotype”
70. Sometimes when I am in a co-op or organic grocery store I get a little overwhelmed, like all the other shoppers can tell that I am an imposter
71. The bike messengers in downtown Minneapolis scare me
72. I have a crush on the coffee guy that works at the Starbucks in my building
73. One time these especially hunky firefighters came to our door but it happened to be at the exact moment that Stacy (my cousin), Lucy (my niece) and I were wearing our matching pajamas (to take a photo) that our grandma made us
74. This year my Halloween costume (for the Halloween bar crawl) was jeans, my AC/DC t-shirt and guitar earrings. I believe I won the “Lamest Attempt at a Costume” contest
75. I hate the font Comic Sans
76. I have never completely made it through an entire issue of Harpers Literary Magazine, which I have a subscription for
77. I hate dolphins, I don’t think they are as nice as people want to believe
78. I drove around Ireland, celebrated St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin (there was no parade because of the damn Hoof & Mouth thing) and kissed the Blarney Stone
79. I like the idea of protesting because I have really great ideas for signs
80. I ate Chinese takeout in a Paris Laundromat…more than once
81. Tour buses fascinate me. I want to know who they belong to
82. I rely on other blogs for my information
83. I celebrated when “gianormus” was made a word (now if only that damn spell-check would update it’s library)
84. One of my favorite lyrics are from Rilo Kiley, Portion for Foxes “There’s blood in my mouth ‘cause I’ve been biting my tongue all week/I keep on talking trash, but I never say anything”
85. 10 year high school reunion. Uh.
86. I have a lot of arch-enemies but people are telling me that I can only have one
87. I made it on the Metrodome Jumbotron twice (at one game) this past season
88. I have been to one Minnesota Swarm (professional Lacrosse) game, two Minnesota Timberwolves games, two pre-season Minnesota Vikings games and 100+ Minnesota Twins games
89. I am left handed (I think Stacy made me left handed)
90. I make a lot of fun of the Minnesota suburbs: Anoka (Crystal Meth jokes), Edina (snobs), Maple Grove (fancy), Norwood-Young America (too many to list)
91. There is nothing better in this world than fresh-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookies. Nothing.
92. Sometimes I have to stop and think if I said something out loud or in my head
93. I read fast but not so fast that I am a freak of nature
94. I don’t like doing things I don’t want to do (I really have to make myself do them)
95. I don’t like driving on highways/freeways in the Twin Cities
96. I use reverse psychology on my team-mates and it works most of the time
97. I hate checking voicemail on my cell or work phones. I have no idea why
98. Sometimes when I am on a conference call and I get asked a question but I wasn’t paying attention I say that I was multitasking but I was really looking out my window making up stories about the people walking by
99. I introduced the term “bromance” (non-sexual man-crush) to my office of 150 people
100. I “heart” Dollar Dog Night at the Metrodome (especially with Twingo)

She won’t want me to do it…
Happy Birthday to Amy, my B.F.F, fellow cubicle-dweller, office gossip-monger and my baseball partner in crime!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Besides, maybe this time is different/I mean, I really think you like me

Wow, the players are in an uproar these last few days. The headlines on the sporting pages are riddled with “So-and-so denies…” I think within the next few days the hype will die out and be long forgotten, lessons will go unlearned.

New Twins
Mike Lamb (Houston Astros) – Third Base
Adam Everett (Houston Astros) – Shortstop

Non-baseball News:

This very random, business-casual looking guy was in Target this afternoon sporting one of those tear-drop tattoos. I always thought they symbolized that the wearer murdered someone however after using Wikipedia I found there are a few options:
1. He was a “sissie” and his “sugar daddy” had him marked
2. A family member, friend or fellow gang member has been killed
* If teardrop is open or clear – loved one has been murdered
* If teardrop is solid – loved one has killed themselves or was killed in another cause other than murder
* If teardrop has half empty top and half full bottom – loved one has been murdered but their killer was murdered by the tattoo wearer
3. Number of years he has been in prison or the serving of more than one prison term
4. Killed another person
* If the teardrop is solid – that a murder was carried out
* If the teardrop is open or clear – a murder was attempted but failed

So, there is more than you ever needed or wanted to know about teardrop tattoos

My Adventures in the Suburbs
I spent three full days in Maple Grove (aka “the burbs”) cat/house-sitting for Amy. It was like I was in a time warp where I couldn’t leave the house or I would get sucked into a parallel universe. First, Amy’s place is just so damn quiet and comfortable that I read a book I found on her coffee table (Twilight by Stephanie Meyer – yes, ilovedragons, I finally succumbed) and watched the shows she had stored in TiVo (I finally saw the latest episode of CSI: New York after missing four or five.) I also slept for like 14 hours a day. Man, real-life sucks!

Video Advent Calendar – One Week until Christmas (or 7.5 days)
Vegan Joe has been talking about Bright Eyes for the last few weeks (cough*obsessively*cough) so I finally decided to check out the music video he sent me. Yes, the video is sweet but the song is really great!

Bright Eyes – First Day of my Life

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I loved you from the start/’cause Christmas ain’t the time/for breaking each other’s heart

I believe it is time to discuss salary caps
“A-rod set another record for baseball’s highest contract, finalizing his $275 million, 10-year agreement with the Yankees.” Are you kidding me? 275 million real-world-dollars? When I read that I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Ah, my friends, this baseball loving, trash talking gal is a little bitter/peeved about this kind of stuff.

The Mitchell Reports
Wow, the names are really stacking up. Tejada, Clemens, Knoblauch, Pettitte, David Justice are just a few early leaks. I guess we’ll see the entire list at 1:00 p.m. CT.

Last night I stayed out way too late drinking and socializing with my fellow cubicle dwellers. My head hurts. My eyes burn. My throat is sore. Hell, even my hair hurts. In my Land O’Cubicles we have a rule that if you can go out on a work night and whoop-it-up than you better damn well pay the piper the next day and drag your sorry ass to the office. Well, this morning we all made it in but no one is looking very well-off. In fact, one of us (not naming names) is a little green and sensitive to loud noises. Hmm…I wonder if it is cruel that I keep calling his desk phone and giggling when it rings shrilly. Eh, such is life.

Video Advent Calendar – 12 Days Until Christmas
Who doesn’t love the Ramones!!! When I found my favorite cake Punk band had a Christmas video, well, I had to put it on my countdown.

The Ramones – Merry Christmas Baby

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I’ve had enough/Of this parade/I’m thinking of/The words to say

Since all is quiet on the Mid-Western front…

2007 Year in Review

I started Lipgloss & Baseball: My MN Twins Blog
I wrote by baseball will (in case of my untimely demise)
The first time in 2007 I asked the Baseball Gods why we have Silva
Home Opener!
First use of a swear word in this blog
First open-mocking of Gregg
First use of Tri-Color Foam Wash in my blog
“Pitchers are the best athletes on the field” from Bert Blylevin
My baseball birthday party
Little Piranha fishing lures
Joe “Baby Jesus” Mauer chosen by Hollywood Extra as one of America’s Most Eligible Bachelors
Curls and Curveballs joins the blogging world!
Lucy’s second baseball game
Santana pitched a shutout and buzzed Bert’s hair
Amy and I made it on the Jumbotron twice in one game!
Twins Sisters join the baseball blogging world
I found out Castillo was traded to Mets via Channel 5 News Billboard
Official Groundbreaking of new stadium
Sitting in the Suites (eating free food and drinking free beer)
T.C. The Bear won the Mascot Homerun Derby
My first baseball bloggers meet and greet
I cheated on baseball and went to a MN Vikings football game
TBL and I go to our first game together, no arrests were made
Found out that there is crying in baseball when we had to watch Torii walk off the field for the last time
End of Twins season
I share my new obsession with the bar video game Playboy Photo Hunt
I officially coin a new nickname for my co-worker who likes to piss me off with snotty baseball comments…he shall be known as Ass Clown
Santana received his first Gold Glove award
The first off-season FSN Classic game is shown
First trade of the season brings us Craig Monroe
Sadly, Jason “Eye Candy” Bartlett is traded away from my inappropriate baseball watching comments
First Baseball Blog Year in Review

I know, I know this Year in Review stuff is a tad bit overwhelming since it is EVERYWHERE!!! However, my favorite one is offered by our local NPR affiliate (MPR) 89.3 The Current. So any of you local yokels, go and vote for your top 20 albums of 2007 and sign up for a chance to win an iPod. To The Current, thank you for including Travis, the soundtrack to Once and VHS or Beta on your list. Oh, and thank you for not having James Blunt (my apologies to his fans.)

In case you have a flying care, here is my list (in no particular order):
Romantica – America
The Hives – The Black & White Album
Travis – The Boy with No Name
VHS or Beta – Bring on the Comets
1990’s – Cookies
Lily Allen – Alright, Still…
The Frames – The Cost
The Fratellis – Costello Music
The Alarmist – The Ghost and the Hired Gun
Ingrid Michaelson – Girls and Boys
Radiohead – In Rainbows
Various Artists – Instant Karma, Campaign to Save Darfur
Arcade Fire – Neon Bible
Various Artists – Once: Original Soundtrack
Sondre Lerche – Phantom Punch
Prince – Planet Earth
Robert Plant and Alison Krauss – Raising Sand
WIlco –Sky Blue Sky
Rilo Kiley – Under the Blacklight
The Shins – Wincing the Night Away

You can vote at 89.3 The Current.

Attention to my Family!
Anyone out there know what time we are celebrating on Christmas Eve? I probably should plan accordingly.

Video Advent Calendar – 13 Days until The Day
I am officially declaring Travis as my Top Band I Found in 2007, thanks to Liat (who brought me to their concert.)

Travis – Closer

Monday, December 10, 2007

So I came back to Minneapolis/This time I think I’m gonna stay

Alas, nothing related to baseball
It’s quiet…almost too quiet in the MLB topics.

This week is a big holiday/party week…jealous?
Monday Night Happy Hour – Monday
Going Away Happy Hour – Wednesday
Land O’Cubicles Holiday Party – Thursday
Lena’s Holiday Party – Saturday

The Zep
Led Zeppelin is baaaack. Tonight is the reunion show in London. I can only hope that this may spark a tour!

Video Advent Calendar – 17 Days Until Drinking Bailey’s
This song makes me laugh! I mean, seriously…you have to listen to the lyrics. This video opens up with him singing “Silent Night” and then segues into the best song EVER!!!

Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis - Tom Waits

One more video…if you can handle it!
Last month I went to Las Vegas with my Aunt Karin, Stacy and Lucy. Here are some of my photos set to music in my Vegas Video Montage.

Friday, December 7, 2007

I can’t stop this feeling/Deep inside of me/Girl, you just don’t realize/What you do to me

Headline of the morning
Twins lose six players in Rule 5 Draft – Three members of the club go in the Major League portion. Well, hells bells…it really hasn’t been our off-season.

Yes iPod, I have enough love for all my shiny gadgets!
Yesterday evening was spent setting up booksmarks on my brand, spanking new computer. Being a product of doing-everything-on-the-computer, I ended up using Google to find this blog since I don’t have it memorized. To my pleasant surprise I found that when I searched “Lipgloss and Baseball” there were a fair number of results pertaining to my blog. I was excited to see I made a cameo appearance on an actual lip gloss themed blog:
Girl Gloss. I also had a shout-out on a MN Vikings football blog (due to the fact I mentioned it was hard to watch a football game in my baseball stadium): Ragnarok – It Ain’t Easy Being a Vikings Fan. Yeah baseball!

Non-baseball related - iObsess
I am now addicted to finding Podcast for my iPod. Currently I am into NPR: All Songs Considered. They have a weekly program that highlights new songs and they also broadcast live from concerts. I found recent shows by Travis, Rilo Kiley and Swell Season (from the movie “Once”). Yeah me!

Video Advent Calendar – 19 Days until Christmas (starting to feel the panic of gift buying)
Okay, don’t be mad but I was thinking of the next video to post and searched for something by The Feeling and got an evil chuckle out of this video instead. Sorry…but you have to watch it. WATCH IT!

Hooked on a Feeling – David Hasselhoff

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Hey flathead don’t check me in / Well hers is a tonic and mine is a gin

And deep breath
The Winter Meetings have wrapped up. It appears that Santana was the belle of the Winter Meeting ball. And yet…nothing happened except for enough rumors to fill Lake Superior. What is going to happen next? Is it weird that I am a little disappointed that there was all this drama, via rumors only and nothing too big? Sheesh…even A-Rod is quiet.

Yes iPod, I have enough love for all my shiny gadgets!
I spent all yesterday evening geeking out over my new laptop. She is shiny, white and faster than Lew Ford’s pinwheel legs (inside baseball joke.) I “heart” her. The world is back on its axis and now I can internet anywhere! ANYWHERE! Also, now I can download the last four episodes of CSI: NY to catch up.

Video Advent Calendar – 20 Days
Ah, this reminds of last summer when I was driving around the fancy suburbs in my Jeep with the sunroof open and blasting this song. Ah, Edina…will you ever be the same again?

Fratelli’s - Flathead

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

So this is Christmas/And what have you done/Another year over/A new one just begun

Sweet baby Jesus! I can’t keep up with all the rumors.
Yanks drop out
BoSox front runners
If Santana goes so will Nathan
Nathan in the wind
Santana Saga
Will Someone Take Johan Santana, please
(that one really sticks me!)

What’s a girl supposed to do? Well, this girl is not clicking on the hyperlinks and getting sucked into that vortex of trade rumors.

Well, I want to wish everyone a happy Winter Meeting season and let’s hope the Baseball Fairy (I picture a mix of Bert Blylevin and that SnackWells fairy) brings us some good news.

Non-baseball ball topic PS: Sportsman of the Year – Favre? Well, he is an icon and he has been playing longer than Moses…oh, and he appears to be a nice guy. The Cheeseheads are happy.

Video Advent Calendar – 22 Days until Christmas
Let’s get back on the Christmassy track here. I present you with one of my favorite song/video around this time of year…maybe even more so this year.

Happy Christmas by John Lennon

Friday, November 30, 2007

What I want from us is empty our minds/We fake the thoughts, and fracture the times

Black armband for Baseball
Today I am hypothetically packing up my Minnesota Twins baseball t-shirts and giant foam finger. I am lovingly folding them whilst wiping the solitary tear away. You may think I am over-reacting but anyone who has spent a millisecond discussing baseball with me will understand. Being neither a “fair weather fan” nor a “part-time fan” this latest blow in off-season trades and rumors is breaking my wee little heart. Well, to the Pohlad’s and Bill Smith’s of this world: You better know what the hell you are doing. Otherwise, my giant foam finger may find a new home (a mild threat, I know.)

The latest trade
Gone: Garza (with his huge potential), Barty, Minor League Pitcher Morlan (instead of Rincon, who Bill Smith says “There is nothing wrong with Juan Rincon, he might pitch Winter Ball. He’s fine.” Oh, Mr. Smith must not have watched the last dozen games he pitched in.)

New: Delmon Young (which should be interesting to watch him interact with the Club. We’ll see if he adds some drama or not, although he says he has matured), Brendan Harris, Jason Pridie

What you think? Is this a “Fair Trade?”

Who is next on the chopping block? Santana? Nathan?Anyone else finding the idea of the new Stadium a little bitter in the mouth?

In conclusion…

Yes, I will continue to watch baseball. Yes, I will continue to go to Twins game. However, I will be watching the front office very closely and thinking of creative new nicknames. Oh, and the office Ass Clown? Well, today we bonded over bitching. I guess one good thing came out of this.

Video Advent Calendar – 26 Days until Christmas
In honor of my shitty baseball mood I chose a song that has swear words in it and you all know how much I love songs with swearing.

Damien Rice – Rootless Tree

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I dreamed of Moses / He wanted to put my hair into corn rolls

I said I thought you were born way before they came into fashion./He said don’t be silly/your dreams never follow the chronology of history/and the purpose of dreaming is still quite a mystery/even to me.
Ezra Furman – I dreamed of Moses

With the Winter Meetings gearing up there are so many rumors floating around (the main one about Santana and the Yankees.) I for one will be obsessively checking for updates during the Meetings in hopes of getting good news (and good news only, damnit.)
So, what’s new in Baseball Land? Well a whole lotta nothing. Sheesh, booooring. Here are very obscure baseball related items:
* TBL graciously fed my need for Criminal Minds and caught me up on last week’s episode so I am ready for tonight!
* Lucy is being trained to answer “What’s your favorite sport?” question with “Baseball.” Duh.
* I have marked the MLB shopping catalog with Christmas ideas, for me.
* Oh, Jon Heyman (from Sports Illustrated) kind of pisses me off.
* Cincinnati Reds are poised for a breakout in 2008. Hmm…
* The office Ass Clown is about this <…> far away from getting my brushed-leather-with-wedge-heel boot upside his head (as if I could get my leg that high.)

Video Advent Calendar
28 Days until Christmas

Ezra Furman – Kirsten Dunst

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Video Advent Calendar - come on in and take your mind off the rumors

I know! I have been a bad baseball blogger. Sheesh, get off my back.

Well, the only news that is hot right now revolves around the Santana trade rumors. I have heard from multiple fans that if he gets traded they will be pissed (I concur.) However, my co-worker (fondly referred to as Ass Clown) stated that he will stop watching baseball if he goes to the Yankees. Well, I may not feel THAT strongly but I get where he’s coming from.

So, in keeping with the non-baseball but mucho holiday theme…

Virtual Advent Calendar
As a child (and maybe even more as an adult) I loved/love the idea of the Advent calendar to count down until Christmas. Now, in this day and age Christmas (or your preferred December holiday) starts earlier and earlier. If you want the whole “what does Advent really mean” spiel you can check out the definition at Wikipedia.

Henceforth, I present you with my Video Advent Calendar where you can count down the days to Christmas (also fondly know as the day of drinking to cope.)

29 Days until Christmas

Geof from Ace of Cakes singing (my latest television crush) – this one isn’t Christmassy

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I asked the Turkey Fairy to keep Santana and sign a 3rd baseman

*gag* A-Rod wins third AL MVP in a landslide *cough* Really? A landslide? Eh.

Trading Floor
First Twins trade of the season goes to….
Signing Craig Monroe from the Cubs - Okay, it appears the Front Office is taking this a little more seriously. Now, if we can only stop signing 13 year olds and get a few more “now” players. I know, I know…we pride ourselves on getting early talent but we need a few more players (Third Base, DH) to solidify our 2008 season.

Around the Leagues
Angels get Garland (mmm…he’s dishy) and send Cabrera to Bitch Sox.
Our little Castillo signs with Mets for four years.

What I am thankful for…2007
Yes, whilst most of you are thankful for your families, good health, steady income and love - I, on the other hand, am thankful for much more shallow things.

· The Ghetto #5 bus, it gets me to work everyday and makes me thankful for my lifestyle choices
· My Minnesota Twins birthday party
· Coffee
· Rossi’s 2-4-1 happy hour
· Seeing my first Travis concert with Liat
· Brit Rockers (The Feeling, Fratellis, the Kooks, Bowie, Queen, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, the Kinks, the Animals, the Who, Pink Floyd, Sex Pistols, the Clash, Travis)
· Monday Night Happy Hour(s)
· Dim Sum (Shoot ‘em up Jun Bo)
· Ogling the guys outside my office window (Smoking Smoker)
· 89.3 The Current radio station
· Red Dye#5 – the champagne of artificial flavors
· Chocolate cupcakes with white frosting
· Office gossip – or I like to say “networking”
· Minnesota Twins 2007 Baseball Season (We may have not made it to the playoffs but you still have my heart and time April through October.)
· Lucy’s great taste in music (Jimmy Buffet, Bon Jovi, Plain White Tees and classic rock)
· The final Harry Potter book
· Prince’s big concert trifecta in Minneapolis
· Amy (nerdy sci-fi shows, baseball and plasma television)
· My Minnesota Twins Baseball Blog:
· Classic Rock
· My time on the cruise ship
· Al Franken running for Senate
· Celebrating my second blogging anniversary on March 10, 2007
· Baseball
· Ace of Cakes on the Foodnetwork channel, especially Geoffrey)
· Soylent Green
· My AC/DC and Led Zeppelin t-shirts
· Road tripping through Elvis-land (Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama) with Foley
· The Shot Spotter (detects gunshots)
· This weird obsession with Scott Weiland of Velvet Revolver.
· BBC America television channel
· Consuming alcohol

Friday, November 9, 2007

Superior, they said, never gives up her dead/When the gales of November come early!

The Santana Show
I was very happy to see that FSN North has started showing the 2007 classics games again. Last night was one of the best games from last year. June 18, 2007 with the Twins at the New York Mets. Santana was on the mound and pitched a shut-out game. He also was offensively on fire with hitting a double. The other memororable moment was because this game was when Santana and Circle Me Bert Bylevin had the bet going on. I know you all know what I am talking about…Santana shaved Bert’s head and we had to hear about it for weeks (hell, months) afterwards.
In case Bill Smith (the ambiguous GM) needs a reminder why Santana has to be on our team next year (besides the fact it would be embarrassing to face anyone after letting him go) this is a prime example.
And that transitions nicely into my heart attack of the morning…
Damn you Sports Illustrated and damn you Jon Heyman. Reading this article actually made me nervous. The past few months I have been repeating the manta in my head “They won’t trade Santana, they won’t trade Santana, they won’t trade Santana.” Then you go and write this…
GMs await their chance to deal for a bona fide ace

Son of a ____

Non Baseball and Randomly Random
The 32nd Anniversary of the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald is this weekend. I am sad to report that the only knowledge of this event was given to me by the popular song by Gordon Lightfoot. Anyone who has driven the Scenic Northshore Drive from Duluth to Grand Portage will find the references in this song. My particular favorite? The Stores of Gitche Gumee.

When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin

Fellas, its too rough to feed ya
At seven p.m. a main hatchway caved in, he said
Fellas, its been good tknow ya
The captain wired in he had water comin in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
And later that night when his lights went outta sight
Came the wreck of the edmund fitzgerald.
Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald – Gordon Lightfoot

Thursday, November 8, 2007

I’ve been through a desert on a horse with no name / It felt good to be out of the rain

Well, it is very quiet in regard to real baseball news. All the rest is off season injuries and possible trades (some of them very far fetching and disheartening…A-Rod to Mets for example) and free-agents (Silva, Lohse and Hernandez declared by starters on the market.)

Real baseball news:
* Francisco “F-Bomb” Liriano is done with rehab and getting ready for Spring Training. Twins fans breathe sigh of relief.

* Torii Hunter won his seventh consecutive Gold Glove award and Santana rightfully got his first.

Next week I will be venturing to Vegas with my Aunt K, Stacy and Lucy (who has to be the smartest damn kid in the world) for a week of Sin City. Now, before you start thinking “How fun can it be in Vegas with a toddler” let me just explain we’ll be road tripping outside of the strip and into the desert. You heard it here first folks…this city girl will be at the mercy of the desert. Anyone else have America’s “Horse with No Name” song stuck in their head? Anyways, if you don’t hear from me in two weeks I am probably stranded in the desert trying to ration the hidden bottles of water and power bars I snuck in the trunk. Think Lord of the Flies but with less wild pig hunting.
Ralph: Someone has to stay behind. Piggy…
Jack: [interrupts] Sure, protect Piggy like you always do.
Ralph: Don’t be stupid. What can he do with just one eye?


Friday, November 2, 2007

Bad boys, bad boys/Watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do/when they come for you

Well, it is sure quiet around the World of the Minnesota Twins. The big talk is the new stadium and gossip over what will happen with trades.

There is some positive news about two minor league players that we saw in the big leagues in 2007:
Our Minor Leaguers
Buscher (third base) named 2007 Sherry Robertson Award as the Twins’ Minor League Player of the Year.
Kevin Slowey selected as 2007 Jim Rantz Award as Twins’ Minor League Pitcher of the Year.

Everywhere I look this is what I have to read:
Joe Girardi formally announced as the new Yankees manager.
Torre finally announced as the Dodgers new manager.

I went to this play the other night that was very intense and really interesting, Cherry Docs ( Yes, the play was great but the best part of the evening was riding around in the mock-undercover cop car. I felt like Starsky, Hutch, Cagney, Lacey, Kojak or T.J. Hooker. There was the glass partition that divided the front and back seats with the sliding window thing, a computer system and a C.B. radio. It was sweet!!! I don’t think I have ever felt as badass as I did riding shotgun. The only down side was when my safety-nerd popped up saying that if we were in a collision the airbag would jam the computer system into my chest. Hey, it was a risk I was willing to take. I only wish I would have thought about sitting in the back for effect.

‘Tis the season
Have you ordered your holiday cards yet? Well, you should! I am pimping my girl, Pumpkingirl’s new holiday cards she had for sale on Etsy:
Pirate Christmas cards? Hell ya!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

This indecisions bugging me/Esta undecision me molesta/If you don't want me, set me free/Si no me quieres, librame

Keepers, throw-aways and sinkers
The local news channels were all a-buzz with the “Torii Hunter Files for Free Agency” topic this morning. Fifteen days.
To quote one of my favorite bands (with a little tweaking) “Should he stay or should he go now?/Should he stay or should he go now?/If he goes there will be trouble?/And if he stays it may be double/So come on and let me know/Should he stay or should he go?”

It looks like Silva may be on the market also. It should be interesting to see what happens with that development.

Joe “Twitch ‘n Pitch” Nathan has been signed for six million dollars for 2008. Good news there.

The Anti-Christ in my office is all over the “Let Torii Go” and “Fight to Keep Silva” bandwagon this morning. This is an age old argument amongst the Land O’Cubicles and always ends with me calling him an “Ass Clown.” Well, yes, he is an Ass Clown but this is for a specific reason. He thinks the only reason I want Hunter to stay is because he’s cute and the only reason I want Silva to leave is because he’s not cute. Puh-lease (rolling my eyes like a teenager.) If I wanted to spend game time swooning over hotties I would turn on the fucking WB channel, not go to a baseball game. See, it is a fine line between being a baseball fan and being accused of only watching the sport for the hunks. Ass clown.

Here are some other free agents on the shelf:
Eckstein, Bonds, Colon, Andruw Jones, Rowand, Posada, Rivera, Green, Lo Duca. Oh, and God forbid we forget A-Rod.

Did you know…?

Anoka, Minnesota is the Halloween capital of the world?
Yeah, I happen to call it the Crystal Meth capital of Minnesota but eh…poe-tay-toes, poh-tah-toes. (No offense meant to those who live in the Halloween Capital of the World unless you happen to "cooks the Meth.")

I leave for Vegas in two weeks!
Holy crap! Where did time go? On November 12 I will be hurtling through the sky in a tin machine with Stacy, Lucy and Aunt K. Destination – Vegas Baby! Whilst most people go to Vegas for gambling and ramble-rousing I will be napping, sunning and shopping. Oh, and we will rent a car to hit the desert for some exploring. No snakes, no aliens and no homicidal maniacs need apply.

I won’t be handing out candy in the ‘hood this year!I was invited to attend this play “Cherry Docs” instead. I will gladly pass up on handing out candy to the thugs who don’t even bother to put costumes on. I will gladly skip the worry that each person at my door is going to shove their way in and steal my valuables (iPod, Sidekick, ect.) I will gladly forgo the fear that someone is casing the joint. Now, I wonder if Kris will laugh when I run to and from the car so I don’t get scared by the shadows. Damn Halloween, it isn’t as fun when you are an OCD Freak.

Swear count: 5

Monday, October 29, 2007

Be a clown, be a clown/All the world loves a clown/Act a fool, play the calf

Well, that was a pathetic excuse of a World Series attempt. How boring. I do feel bad for the Rockies’ fans that had to sit through four games of pure ass-whooping. I am shaking my head sadly over the cake-walk World Series.
Also, as my co-worker and anti-Christ (don’t ask) pointed out… Was it necessary for A-Rod to announce he wasn’t signing with the Yankees for 2008 during the end of the fourth game? Oh, and was it really that “breaking” of news? Jeez-Louise.

Here is the non-baseball side of life (since all we can do is receive updates on contract info until Spring Training):

I. Hate. Clowns.

Well, at least now I do. You see, I have never subscribed to the fear of clowns, sock puppets or other random things. However, thanks to an episode of Supernatural I now hate clowns. Last night I started watching the first disc of Supernatural Season 2 and it scared the bejeezus out of me. I should have known. Last year I made my way through Season 1 and freaked the shit out of myself. Stupid spooky stuff. And yet I can’t stop watching it.
Anyways, in this episode this clown would attract the attention of a child and then follow it home. In the middle of the night the child would see the clown in the yard, open the door and let him in the house. And then the clown would kill and feed off the parents. Yeah… A.) Lucy isn’t allowed to make eye contact and wave at clowns B.) If for some reason she see’s a clown and then tells me to look but I don’t see anything we will leave and hide out for a couple days somewhere else C.) She’s never allowed under any circumstances to open the door for a clown. Never!

I am officially too old to be sneaking in the house at 3:00 am on a Sunday morning.

Last night was my first bar crawl hosted by the Monday Happy Hour Crew...Halloween themed.
It was damn fun. We started at 5:00 p.m. at Mayslack's bar in Nordeast and proceeded to traipse around Nordeast Minneapolis and visit 8 other bars.
Here are some highlights:
* We got flashed by a guy in a trench coat (that was his “costume”.)
* On the long walk from Jaros to the next bar (almost half a mile) we snuck out drinks to enjoy on the walk. I had the Greenie.
* We spent more time than is probably healthy playing this bar video game called Photo Hunt, erotic edition. Basically you had to find five subtle differences in each picture. Alas, all the photos were of very naked women, most of them a la 1980’s. I don't know why but that photo porn was fucking addicting. Let's just say that we got really good and our group made the high score at three different bars (check for “Sofonda Tots”, they wouldn't let us use dirty names so we picked tots.)

Anyways, Sunday morning I rolled out of bed early and drugged my hung-over ass to Amy’s house. No better way working off a hangover then lounging on Amy’s comfy recliner watching British television drama...more specifically Ultimate Force. Machine gun fire, explosions, fisticuffs and British hotties made me feel better.

Anyways, I am not getting on the wagon anytime soon since tonight is Monday Night Happy Hour.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Whooah, we're half way there/Livin on a prayer/Take my hand and we'll make I swear/Livin on a prayer

Okay, this isn’t really “baseball” related (but hey, we are still waiting for the World Series to start) but today is Stacy’s two year anniversary of meeting Lucy for the first time. So, in honor of the cutest little Twins fan…

Two years ago today I was sitting in this very house, all alone. No, this isn’t an introduction to Celine Dion’s “All by Myself” song. This is the anniversary of Lucy’s adoption. Just a little over two years ago I spent the weekends sleeping in, taking naps, listening to music with swear words and watching movies where people get blown up. A little over two years ago I would drink beer and watch baseball…okay, that part hasn’t changed. Now, with the arrival of Lucy there isn’t much sleeping in, nap time is on her schedule, I end up walking around my office singing Raffi and expressing my hatred of the fucking Wiggles. (I mean, I know who they are. Isn’t that bad enough?) Now I watch cartoons (and not Simpson’s or Family Guy kind) and I get excited when my favorite show on Sprout TV’s Goodnight Show comes on (Jakers, the Irish pig.) Well, enough of the romantic ‘How Lucy Changed My Life” verse. After all, at this point two years ago I was sitting in this very house, alone, while Stacy was thousands of miles away meeting her daughter for the first time. My beginning with Lucy was still a week away.

I know, this entry is kind of the Anti-Christ for non-children-wanting readers but if I can get sucked into Lucy’s life, I am sure you all can too. She’s pretty damn cool. You name one other two year old who can sing Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer” or Jimmy Buffet’s “Margaretville.” You show me another two year old who can dance and try to sing along with “Stuck in a Moment” by U2. Find me another two year old who feels it’s her job to tell me that my coffee is hot every time she sees me with a cup of it. Yeah…Lucy’s one a gazillion but looks like everyone who knows her are the winners. (Okay, that part was kind of sappy, just deal.)

Tonight Stacy, Lucy and I will be going out for African food to celebrate her time with us.

Monday, October 22, 2007

That's why/Cause if you feel it/And if you mean it/Don't apologize

Strange - The Feeling
The line-up has been decided for the 2007 World Series – Rockies and Red Sox. It should be an interesting game nonetheless. I am a little disappointed in the tanking of the Indians. It was a very ugly way to lose a run at the Series. I am more disappointed with the fact I lost a Pride Bet against this Trust Rep in my office that the Indians would win. However, I now must put up with his crowing over the Red Sox victory. Bah humbug.

The F-Bomb
Rumor has it that Francisco Liriano will be ready for Spring Training 2008. Ah, F-Bomb, we have missed you.

Non-baseball news but nonetheless still interesting
You see, after the World Series there will be less and less basebally (my own made up word, thank you very much) things to discuss or rant about so I need a contingency plan. I will try to have a baseball posting at least once a week but I may need to pepper it with some non-baseball news.

I finally found someone who also likes the music of The Feeling. I have been pimping this band for ages and no one (I am looking at a bunch of you who read my blog daily) had taken the bait. However, there is someone out there!!! So, if you would like to join The Feeling bandwagon (membership count: 2) check them out!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Let the count down begin...

We are in the autumn of baseball

Thanks to an early morning call from Curlz (of Curlz & Curveballs
) I found out that the Twins released their “tentative” 2008 schedule. Home opener is “tentatively” scheduled for Monday, March 31 against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Hmm..Early start this year. Let’s hope that means it will be a looooong season (with October 2008 being active for us.) Well, moving away from forecasting…

I am bummed we won’t be playing with the Mets again this year so I could have a legitimate excuse to go to New York to watch baseball. Ya’ll know I won’t be showing my face at Yankee Stadium (even if Metsgrrl promised to protect me.)

Speaking of Metsgrrl…
How the hell do you find out about things like People magazines “Sexiest Fan?” I am rolling around my office chuckling like I have Mad Cubicle disease. So, in honor of it being funny AND the fact there is a Twins fan represented…go vote! Vote often and vote for ANYONE BUT THE YANKEE GUY! I don’t care if you think he’s the dreamiest person on earth (he ain’t no Orland Bloom) just don’t feed the bear! Alas, the Minnesota Twins guy is losing, and he’s losing big time. Give him a few more pity votes to make me (and probably his family) feel better. I mean, look at his picture. The dude obviously in line to get is Dollar Dog.

There still is baseball being played
Colorado Rockies versus ______ (Cleveland is fighting hard to fill in that blank.)

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Have a drink at your favorite bar till dark/Stumble into empty baseball park/Strike 1 and stike 2../I guess we're both out

Ah, it is time for the obligatory sappy ending. Oh man. Last year was a big disappointing finish of the season but this year was a quiet slip out of 2007.

I started this blog on January 29, 2007 full of optimism and yes, maybe a little cockiness. Who could blame me! We had a Batting Champion, MVP, Gold Glove, Cy Young and a handful of other honors. Ah, but alas…this isn’t a fairytale.

Here are a few highlights from my 2007 baseball blogging season:
· Winning our Home Opener!
· Meeting other cool baseball bloggers
· A few bad trades (yes, some people think they were good…I don’t. It’s my blog, I win.)
· New Stadium is a-coming!
· My baseball will, in case something happens to me
· The Starting Five Starting Pitchers: Santana, Bonser, Ortiz, Silva, Ponson
· The last Starting Pitchers: Santana, Slowey, Silva, Garza and Baker
· “The Boof is on Fire” can get old (two games into the season old)
· Yankees dominate the MLB headlines again (expensive pitchers, booing A-Rod, scandals, Jeter, Sheffield and Torre)
· Baby Jesus Birthday Montage
· Bert “Pitchers are the best athletes on the field.”
· My baseball birthday party
· Baby Jesus chosen as one of America’s Most Eligible Bachelors by Hollywood Extra.
· Hey, it looks like that $28,000,002 signing of Clemens worked out well.
· Ponson is out
· 445 hits on my blog on May 16 – 3,383 on October 3
· Sitting in the sweet Dorsey & Whitney law firm seats behind homeplate.
· Risa (Curlz of Curlz & Curveball) started a baseball blog.
· Baseball Blogger Meet-up
· My new quote “One good game doth no make a great pitcher.”
· All Star Game (ugly orange jerseys!)
· Bert gets flowbee-ed by Santana
· Baker Up
· Amy & I on the Jumbo Screen twice!
· Sitting two rows above our dugout
· Slowey Up
· Garza Up
· Sitting in the Suite whilst eating free food and drinking free beer
· my favorite non-Twins baseball blog
· Castillo gets “traded” to Mets
· Cirillo gone
· My Jeep Liberty got a MN Twins tire cover
· Ortiz is out
· New stadium groundbreaking
· Starting the downhill slide in September
· Game with TBL
· Maybe Torii’s last game
· Last game against Boston RedSox

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Alas, I don't have a good lyric to insert here

Oh man, this blog may not be suitable for anyone. Especially if you are offended by swear words or would like to fight me on some issues. This entry was definitely not made to explain stats or facts. This is a 100% feeling and 99% of that is frustration.

Congratulations Pohlad, Ryan, and all the front staff. If you wanted to beat down your players and break the fans hearts…well, you succeeded. It is a sad mother fucking day in baseball when you end a season beat down. It is also a sad day when I read articles about Santana not knowing if he’ll be back because he will be expensive. That ya’ll might shop our ace out. I mean, after all it worked when we traded Knoblauch, why not do it again. Right? (Insert the sarcasm.) And then there is Hunter. No one can blame the guy for just wanting the trade to be done with. I mean, between the Powers That Be and the media he has been hounded with this since mid-season. I think the only people that really care are the fans and we all know we have no power to change the outcome.
Here is an interesting quote from Hunters interview:

"Somebody needs to slap a couple people around and say, 'You've got to play no matter what," Hunter said.
He then added, "If you don't play every day, and you're a good player, then how can you help the team win?"
Hunter was asked if he meant Joe Mauer, referring to
speculation earlier this season that Mauer wasn't doing enough to play through leg injuries, and Hunter said he didn't. Rather he pointed to the fact he feels it's a different group of players on the Twins than when he first arrived.
"It's a different breed. I don't know what's going on in the Minor Leagues, but it's different," Hunter said.

Well, if you were expecting to see a noble, head-held high style from the Twins going out of 2007 you will be sadly disappointed. Like it is said, there is no crying in baseball, but there is a lot of bitching and moaning. Instead of a fitting tribute to most of the players and all of the fans, hoping to see a respectable ending, we have injured players leaving the season a few days early, we have veterans frustrated and we have respected players being treated like shit. Yeah, I know…I can sit in my cubicle and write about how wussy everyone is. Yeah, I know that if I was hurt I would be the first one lying on the bench whilst someone fanned me and brought me Gatorade. Yeah, I know that it is a long season and it is embarrassing and frustrating to keep playing under this disguise of mockery. However…I also know that this kind of shit wouldn’t fly in my Land O’Cubicles, there would be a pretty pink slip waiting for me the next morning. Alas, I don’t get paid in millions, I get paid in handfuls.

And so ends my cranky/bitter rant. Don’t worry…I won’t be ending my baseball blogging season on this note (ahem…) I will come back and write a witty memory-filled tribute to 2007 that hopefully will overshadow this disappointing week.

I look forward to seeing some good old fashioned competitive baseball in October (as long as it isn’t the Yankees all the way through.)

It is said…
A band-wagon fan jumps on and off with the highs and lows. A real fan stays on and cheers when winning and bitches when losing. What kind of fan are you?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Take this sinking boat and point it home / We've still got time

Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice / You've made it now - Falling Slowly, The Frames (Glen Hansard) from the motion picture "Once"

Well, color me surprised. Silva pitched well. He pitched into the 8th without giving up a run. Sure, Detroit had 7 hits but our great defense shut them down after they got on base. On a slightly snarky Silva note (say that three times fast) I like how the review of the game had a flavor of Silva and LeCroy making a great duo and that they will most likely be paired up for Silva’s final start. Are you f-ing telling me that all it takes is having LeCroy behind the plate? Are you telling me that Baby Jesus, Red or that other kid weren’t the right match up? Now, I know, I know…that’s not what they meant but it sure looked like someone (cough) is grasping at straws to find a reason why Silva had a crappy year (much like last years.) Yeah, again…I know, I know his numbers aren’t bad but this year we needed better than “not bad.” I am not saying that Silva is to blame for our crap-tacular (yes, this word was necessary) year but he was part of it. And that is the end of my slightly snarky Silva rant.

And on to another…
Right now we are sitting at a record of 77-79. I know I am not the only one who feels that this wouldn’t be a good year to have a losing season (the first since 2000.) We need something to hold us through April (or February if you are obsessive compulsive) so we really need them to win four out of the next six games.

Baseball and Vodka, bringing people together
Well, I can safely say that my quirky knowledge of baseball paid off last night. Whilst at happy hour(s) I entered into a heated baseball debate with a stranger two stools down. As the 6th and 7th innings passed we found a mutual respect between our teams…Twins and Rockies. Jim/Bob/Bill was so impressed with my skillz (yeah, with a z) that he bought Tiff and I another round (at full price) to convince us to stay and watch the end of the game. Not only did I get my free drink but I got to watch my team beat Los Tigres whilst sharing the secrets of our beloved Twins. Thank you Bill/Bob/Jim/whatever your name and thank you Baseball.

Monday, September 24, 2007

What if no one's watching/What if when we're dead, we're just dead

What if it's just us down here/What if God ain't looking down/What if he's looking up instead - What If No One's Watching, Ani DiFranco

I know there is no crying in baseball but watching Torii leaving the field in the 9th to a standing ovation…I cried. Stacy Cried. Curlz (Risa) sent me a text that she was crying. Man, baseball is tough.

I missed a lot of the games due to circumstances outside of my control (social life) but I did catch what I could.
Friday, 9/21: L 4-6 (missed to due Ani DiFranco)
Saturday, 9/22: L 3-8 (missed due to the live action production of My Little Pony’s World’s Largest Freak show/Tea Party)
Sunday, 9/23: W 7-1 (watched whilst dozing on sofa)

Tonight Hi Ho Silva takes the mound. It isn’t a secret that I have been anti-Silva most of this season but I always reserve judgment one more game…so we’ll see how he does tonight.

Seven games left.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

When Baseball Bloggers Attack!

Well, we really didn’t attack or anything but we met-up.

Last night was a quadruple threat of the female baseball bloggers at the Dome. Besides myself there was Third Base Line, Curlz and Curveballs (although Curveballs is a boy) and Karleeee from OMG MN Twins.

I met up with Third Base Line to enjoy my last game of the season. I can safely say that she is as cool, witty, sarcastic and basebally (I know it isn’t an actual word) in person as she projects in her blog. We talked of many things including baseball (shocker, eh), tattoos, pink jerseys, Mrs. Joe Mauer shirts, The Levelers (see, I remembered), vegetarian food, beer, more music, the wave, being granola, a smidge of politics and the fact Punto is batting .209.

Can I pick ‘em or what? Last night’s game was fantastic. There was mystery, intrigue, saves, wins, homeruns, my fave blue uniforms, jeering, mocking and it ended with a sweep. This series put the “fun” back into basefunball.

T-shirt of the game: A girl wearing a homemade “I’m Nuddy for Cuddy” t-shirt.

Dear Curlz/Risa,
I do forgive you for hanging up on me in order to take photos of Guerrier. I would really, really forgive you if you share photos and/or stories, especially of meeting with Barty (shallow, I know.)

Dear Amy,
I hope you enjoy your new office water glass that once held my Diet Coke. I felt that it was fate stepping in which provided me with a Morneausey cup. I think it is a sappy and fitting end to the season.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

It can’t be wrong / When it feels so right / ’Cause you / You light up my life

We all knew it would happen. We all knew that the Twins would play ball like they uses. That they would play ball like they used to and it wouldn’t matter because the playoff runs were over for us. Oh well, it was a great game anyways. It wasn’t a great game for the Rangers though…especially the shortstop Young. We all know it is exciting when the other team has an error but there’s a point where you are like “D’oh dude, what are you doing?” …as our player trots home for a run. Yeah, I caught most of the game but there were two kids in the house and I was an assistant babysitter and there was throwing up (not by me) and screaming (only partially from me.) Oye.

I am going to my final live game of the season tonight thanks to Third Base Line. I am excited to see what happens at our final game against the Rangers, chat with TBL and bust out my traditions and oddities/eccentric-ness one last time.

Hey Curlz, maybe I will see you at the game tonight. You and Curveball should try really hard to get on the Kiss Cam so I can point and say “Hey, I know them!”

PS: Nice to see that Silva is stepping up his game since his future with the Twins is uncertain right now. Yeah, maybe if he stepped up during a few more pivotal games earlier in the year his future wouldn’t be uncertain. Ah, why am I so mean to that man? Probably because my Silva-loving/Hunter-hater co-worker got me all riled up this morning. Oh, and I don’t think anyone was more shocked than I was to see him get out of that ugly moment in the sixth when he had the bases loaded. Whoa baby, color me shock ‘n awed.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Hells bells/Hells bells, you got me ringing/Hells bells, my temperature’s high/Hells bells

Well, hells bells. Just when the getting gets down the Twins stage a classic moment for us to get sucked into again. Last nights game was fun, plain old fashioned fun. Alas, due to obligatory Monday Night Happy Hour I missed the first six innings of the game but I saw the important moments on the highlight reel. Besides, the last few innings were the best!
Lucky Risa (Curlz) was at the game enjoying another fantastic baseball moment. I received a text towards the end of the game. Hey Curlz, did you make it on the Kiss Cam?
With that being said...Did you all see Barty have a great game? What about Cuddy? Oh, anyone else laugh when Gardy reenacted the first base incident with Barty and the Rangers first baseman? And then he was ejected. No one was surprised.

Well, five home games left and then we are in Detroit and Boston. I am going to sit back and enjoy the remaining games whilst obsessively following the Wild Card standings. I am sure you all have a few teams you would like to not make the playoffs.

Monday, September 17, 2007

My motto’s always been; when it’s right, it’s right / Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night

Sky rockets in flight / Afternoon delight / Oh, afternoon delight.

How can you not love the Starland Vocal Band? These lyrics are in honor of Gregg who is a closet fan of the Starland Vocal Band (along with the Doodletown Fifers.)

Friday 9/14 vs Los Tigres – L 2-4
Saturday 9/15 vs Los Tigres – L 3-4
Sunday 9/16 vs Los Tigres – L 4-6


Dear Baseball,
I am not neglecting you. I am passively watching you whilst weaning you out of my day to day lifestyle. It is going to be hard but I’ll make it. Afterall, March isn’t that far away…is it?

That being said, I did catch some of the game on Saturday whilst nerding out at Amy’s house. Occasionally we like to gather in one spot and be geeks together. We watched the BBC America version of the new Robin Hood and then some of the Sci-Fi show Torchwood but took time out to watch Santana rock the mound. Well, rock probably isn’t the word I am looking for but it is Santana and he is a rock star. That first inning was disheartening.
Sunday was the same feeling. I was flipping between baseball and football (Wait! I was watching football because The Uncle was over and that’s his thing. If The Uncle wants to watch football we better damn well be watching football.)

There are six home games left. Who wants to hit one of them up? I need to go to at least one more game and say goodbye to the 2007 Season in person.
Any takers?

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead / When the skies of November turn gloomy

- The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, Gordon Lightfoot

In honor of someone feeling the love for Glen Campbell (glad I am not alone on that) I am breaking out a little Gordon Lightfoot.

The Twins Sisters must have brought a little luck on their road trip to KC.
Monday 9/10 – W 4-2
Tuesday 9/11 – W 6-3

I watched most of the game last night with a few interruptions. I chatted with Amy (via my new Sidekick) for some portions of the game. However, every time something big happened I was either in the kitchen, in the basement or flipping to watch the pilot episode of The Office. Damn you, viewing conflicts! Due to the miracle of technology I did watch the last inning this morning at 5:45 a.m. whilst getting ready for work. Nathan came in for his third Save in a row.

Anyone else notice that the games have been a little slow in KC? Last nights game ran over and the night before also. Let’s pick it up a little.

Today I will be watching the game from the comfort of my cubicle via Game Day.

Two and a half weeks left of Minnesota Twins baseball…sniff.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Come on, come on, love me for the money/Come on, come on, listen to the moneytalk

Jon Heyman’s “Daily Scoop” centered on the Twins and the non-talking money

“Leavin’ Minnesota? Low offers may drive away Twins’ Hunter, Santana”

Seriously, this is starting to piss me the fuck off. Here are a few blurbs that got my baseball blood boiling.

They have a long history of being trouble free, good teammates and loyal to the core (although their loyalty is being used against them here with these stunningly low offers).

Pohlad, ranked by Forbes as the 107th richest man in America with an estimated $2.6 billion, has seen the value of his team rise by an estimated six times since buying the Twins for $44 million in 1984.

Pohlad for years also been baseball's tightest multibillionaire (also perhaps its only multibillionaire).

The Twins did well to sign star catcher and hometown hero Joe Mauer to a four-year deal this winter, but bids to extend Justin Morneau and Joe Nathan went nowhere.

I know, you have all heard it before…if Pohlad can run around buying jewelry stores, radio stations, contributing to political campaigns, yadda yadda yadda…why the hell can’t he put up a little more money in his investment? What is that saying that shopahoilcs always say to defend themselves when spending extravagantly? You gotta spend money to save money? Or, I guess it would be “You gotta spend money to earn even more money that you can roll around on in your million-acre McMansion.

This weekend in baseball
Friday – Lose by one (10-11)
Saturday – Lose by one (7-8)
Sunday – Win by Kubel’s homerun! (5-2)

Non-money ranting baseball topic: Ah, druggies. We all know one; we all have them in our lives somehow. However, if you are a professional baseball player is it really worth it? I guess you don’t have to answer that unless you are caught. I am just bringing this up because the top three headlines under Sports Illustrated MLB are Doping, Steroids and Accusations. There are few “pure” things left in the sporting world I would rather not have to hang my head ashamedly due to crazy drug issues. End public service announcement.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Like a rhinestone cowboy / Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo

The title is in continuance of getting catchy songs stuck in peoples head.

Well, yesterday’s day game was sad/painful/depressing/frustrating. All of those words seem to be commonly used as descriptions this last series against Grady’s Ladies (Cleveland for those who don’t know about my mocking of Grady Sizemore's fan club.)

It appears as if everyone has given up in the clubhouse. Maybe it is time to shake things up and make these last three weeks of baseball fun, fun for the players and fun for the fans. I really am looking forward to these games. I know that once the final out happens at the bottom of the 9th on September 30 in Boston it will be all over for the Twins until February of next year when players start reporting to Spring Training. Yeah, I know that the four months that my world is without baseball is really a short period of time in the grand scheme of life. However, there is no baseball. Nothing to watch whilst drinking beer or crocheting. Nothing to distract me during Monday Night Happy hours. Nothing to make me obsessively check my cell for score updates when I am not by a television. Nothing to doze on the sofa on a Sunday afternoon. No Dollar Dog Night, no Circle me Bert, no Twingo, no Full Count, no late nights at the Dome, no bleary eyed morning afters. Nothing.

Well, I hate to leave you on that depressing note but hey, thems the apples.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

You take the good, you take the bad / You take them both and there you have

Here is the new deck at the house. This is where I sat drinking a beer and listening to the games.

Before you all panic and start threatening me (uh, Curlz?) I have not gone over to the dark side, to football. Not even in baseball’s off season. (I don’t like my sports to overlap.) I will enjoy hockey and curling during the snowy months.

And on to the point of this blog…baseball.
To quote the lyrics to a well known television series that struck home with many viewers “You take the good, you take the bad / you take them both and there you have / The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life."
The same can be said about baseball, specifically the MN Twins.

Here we are into our last month of baseball. Last year at this time there was an air of nervous energy. We were fighting for our spot in postseason, toiling for the Wildcard race. In the end, due to some very erratic circumstances we secured our spot as American League Central Champs. (I get goose bumps thinking about that game, you know “that” one.) In the present moment I find myself just wanting to enjoy the remaining games that we have in September.

The results are in…
Friday, Aug 31 - L 4-9, W 5-0
Saturday, Sept 1 - W 6-4
Sunday, Sept 2 - L 1-8
Monday, Sept 3 - L 0-5
Tuesday, Sept 4 - L 5-7 (in painful extra innings)

Last night's game was a heartbreaker, an old fashioned up and down game of baseball. I think Dick & Bert cursed it when in the 6th Inning they were talking about Guerrier and how tonight Slowey would get the Win and/or Nathan would get the Save (that Guerrier knows his role and it isn’t to get Wins or Saves.) Then it goes in to the 9th with Nathan at the mound. A homerun tied the game. I tried but I couldn’t watch past the 10th. This morning I woke up to catch the 11th being replayed on FSN. I watched as DePaula had the bases loaded and the inning ended with Cleveland pulling ahead with 7 runs. Ouch. I guess it is time to shake off the dust and go in to the day game today and play again. (By the way, I was offered suite tickets again but due to Amy not having PTO to use for a half day and me not wanting to go with anyone else we aren’t going.)

Aren’t you impressed that I can write a lot and really not “say” anything?

Friday, August 31, 2007

Skol Vikings! / Let’s win this game / Skol Vikings! / Honor your name

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

Last night I cheated on Baseball went to a football game. Yes, football. That game where they wear very tight, shiny pants and have a hundred people on their bench.

It felt weird to be in the Dome and seeing the ugly turf painted with white stripes and a giant Vikings head in the center. I kept pointing out the pitcher’s mound, first, second and third bases.
It felt odd to walk on the plaza and see the sea of purple and gold (instead of red and blue.)
It felt outlandish to see the parking prices range from $20 - $40 around the dome.
It was peculiar to see the giant tent full of Vikings souvenirs and apparel (even pink stuff!)
It felt bizarre to see those Helga hats (Vikings hats with horns and blonde braids.)
It felt wacky to be singing Skol Vikings instead of Take Me Out to the Ball Game.
It felt uncanny to not know any names of the players instead of all the names, ERA, pitching rotation, nicknames, hometown of the baseball players.

Thanks to my favorite male cousin for giving me a free beer.
Gracias to the fine people at the Chili’s food stand outside of the Dome for the free southwestern egg rolls and mozzarella cheese sticks. We don’t know why this manna of food was bestowed upon us but we ate it.
Danke to the manager in my office who gave me the free tickets to the game.
Merci to the band playing on the plaza for having awesomely 80’s hair and not knowing how ridiculous you look when you are playing and winking towards the ladies.