Live those dreams/Scheme those schemes/Got to hit/hit me/hit me with those laser beams

Well, jingle freaking bells.
Just call me Scrooge. I can’t find my freaking Christmas spirit. I wrapped all my fucking Christmas presents whilst listening to Christmas music and yet….nothing. I am watching Elf and drinking cocoa and…zilch. Maybe to capture the true Christmas spirit I need to drink orange juice and coconut rum whilst listening to Led Zeppelin.

God is a Middle Aged Woman (the title of an Ezra Furman song)
It must be true. Today I was going to torture myself by heading to Target/Wal-Mart/Grocery store to finish/start my Christmas shopping. Well, maybe the Gods were smiling down on me and taking pity since there was absolutely no one at the stores. Oh, it could also be the fact it was 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning in the middle of snow/slush storm. Either way, thanks to all who stayed away from me!

Just look at her, for fucks sake
“JenJen-lookit-JennyJen-lookatme.” What, Lucy? “Lookatme-JenJenJenny-watchme-Jen.” I am watching. “Jen-watchmewatchme-JenJenny.” Yes, Lucy, I am watching. “JennyJenJen-lookwatchmelook.” Seriously, Lucy…I am watching. “JenJen-lookatmelookatme-Jen.” Yeah, that was kind of annoying to read, right? Try listening to it. Sheesh, I don’t think Lucy gets the whole “cause and affect” theory right now…Lucy, when I answer, you can stop asking. Last night I took her to the Midtown Global Market to run around. We were lucky to listen to some live music being provided by Gumption Trap (difficult to explain what style of music they play but kids sure love dancing to it.) Maybe it is because I am not a mom and only an auntie that I feel this pressing need to make sure she is extra safe and okay at all times (borderline smothering.) I have sworn not to be a Full House episode and bring home the wrong baby.

Video Advent Calendar – 2 ½ Days (one of them working) until Christmas Eve
Thanks to Amy for the idea of today’s video. Amy leaves for North Dakota tomorrow morning to surround herself around family and we were talking about how that can tense a body up. Well, she quoted a little Frankie Goes to Hollywood and an idea was born. Not only do I give you a little “Relax,” I give you the banned version.

Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Relax


Note: It was very difficult to find a few lines out of “Relax” that wouldn’t make me blush knowing my aunt was reading them.