Tuesday, October 30, 2007

This indecisions bugging me/Esta undecision me molesta/If you don't want me, set me free/Si no me quieres, librame

Keepers, throw-aways and sinkers
The local news channels were all a-buzz with the “Torii Hunter Files for Free Agency” topic this morning. Fifteen days.
To quote one of my favorite bands (with a little tweaking) “Should he stay or should he go now?/Should he stay or should he go now?/If he goes there will be trouble?/And if he stays it may be double/So come on and let me know/Should he stay or should he go?”

It looks like Silva may be on the market also. It should be interesting to see what happens with that development.

Joe “Twitch ‘n Pitch” Nathan has been signed for six million dollars for 2008. Good news there.

The Anti-Christ in my office is all over the “Let Torii Go” and “Fight to Keep Silva” bandwagon this morning. This is an age old argument amongst the Land O’Cubicles and always ends with me calling him an “Ass Clown.” Well, yes, he is an Ass Clown but this is for a specific reason. He thinks the only reason I want Hunter to stay is because he’s cute and the only reason I want Silva to leave is because he’s not cute. Puh-lease (rolling my eyes like a teenager.) If I wanted to spend game time swooning over hotties I would turn on the fucking WB channel, not go to a baseball game. See, it is a fine line between being a baseball fan and being accused of only watching the sport for the hunks. Ass clown.

Here are some other free agents on the shelf:
Eckstein, Bonds, Colon, Andruw Jones, Rowand, Posada, Rivera, Green, Lo Duca. Oh, and God forbid we forget A-Rod.

Did you know…?

Anoka, Minnesota is the Halloween capital of the world?
Yeah, I happen to call it the Crystal Meth capital of Minnesota but eh…poe-tay-toes, poh-tah-toes. (No offense meant to those who live in the Halloween Capital of the World unless you happen to "cooks the Meth.")

I leave for Vegas in two weeks!
Holy crap! Where did time go? On November 12 I will be hurtling through the sky in a tin machine with Stacy, Lucy and Aunt K. Destination – Vegas Baby! Whilst most people go to Vegas for gambling and ramble-rousing I will be napping, sunning and shopping. Oh, and we will rent a car to hit the desert for some exploring. No snakes, no aliens and no homicidal maniacs need apply.

I won’t be handing out candy in the ‘hood this year!I was invited to attend this play “Cherry Docs” instead. I will gladly pass up on handing out candy to the thugs who don’t even bother to put costumes on. I will gladly skip the worry that each person at my door is going to shove their way in and steal my valuables (iPod, Sidekick, ect.) I will gladly forgo the fear that someone is casing the joint. Now, I wonder if Kris will laugh when I run to and from the car so I don’t get scared by the shadows. Damn Halloween, it isn’t as fun when you are an OCD Freak.

Swear count: 5

Monday, October 29, 2007

Be a clown, be a clown/All the world loves a clown/Act a fool, play the calf

Well, that was a pathetic excuse of a World Series attempt. How boring. I do feel bad for the Rockies’ fans that had to sit through four games of pure ass-whooping. I am shaking my head sadly over the cake-walk World Series.
Also, as my co-worker and anti-Christ (don’t ask) pointed out… Was it necessary for A-Rod to announce he wasn’t signing with the Yankees for 2008 during the end of the fourth game? Oh, and was it really that “breaking” of news? Jeez-Louise.

Here is the non-baseball side of life (since all we can do is receive updates on contract info until Spring Training):

I. Hate. Clowns.

Well, at least now I do. You see, I have never subscribed to the fear of clowns, sock puppets or other random things. However, thanks to an episode of Supernatural I now hate clowns. Last night I started watching the first disc of Supernatural Season 2 and it scared the bejeezus out of me. I should have known. Last year I made my way through Season 1 and freaked the shit out of myself. Stupid spooky stuff. And yet I can’t stop watching it.
Anyways, in this episode this clown would attract the attention of a child and then follow it home. In the middle of the night the child would see the clown in the yard, open the door and let him in the house. And then the clown would kill and feed off the parents. Yeah… A.) Lucy isn’t allowed to make eye contact and wave at clowns B.) If for some reason she see’s a clown and then tells me to look but I don’t see anything we will leave and hide out for a couple days somewhere else C.) She’s never allowed under any circumstances to open the door for a clown. Never!

I am officially too old to be sneaking in the house at 3:00 am on a Sunday morning.

Last night was my first bar crawl hosted by the Monday Happy Hour Crew...Halloween themed.
It was damn fun. We started at 5:00 p.m. at Mayslack's bar in Nordeast and proceeded to traipse around Nordeast Minneapolis and visit 8 other bars.
Here are some highlights:
* We got flashed by a guy in a trench coat (that was his “costume”.)
* On the long walk from Jaros to the next bar (almost half a mile) we snuck out drinks to enjoy on the walk. I had the Greenie.
* We spent more time than is probably healthy playing this bar video game called Photo Hunt, erotic edition. Basically you had to find five subtle differences in each picture. Alas, all the photos were of very naked women, most of them a la 1980’s. I don't know why but that photo porn was fucking addicting. Let's just say that we got really good and our group made the high score at three different bars (check for “Sofonda Tots”, they wouldn't let us use dirty names so we picked tots.)

Anyways, Sunday morning I rolled out of bed early and drugged my hung-over ass to Amy’s house. No better way working off a hangover then lounging on Amy’s comfy recliner watching British television drama...more specifically Ultimate Force. Machine gun fire, explosions, fisticuffs and British hotties made me feel better.

Anyways, I am not getting on the wagon anytime soon since tonight is Monday Night Happy Hour.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Whooah, we're half way there/Livin on a prayer/Take my hand and we'll make I swear/Livin on a prayer

Okay, this isn’t really “baseball” related (but hey, we are still waiting for the World Series to start) but today is Stacy’s two year anniversary of meeting Lucy for the first time. So, in honor of the cutest little Twins fan…

Two years ago today I was sitting in this very house, all alone. No, this isn’t an introduction to Celine Dion’s “All by Myself” song. This is the anniversary of Lucy’s adoption. Just a little over two years ago I spent the weekends sleeping in, taking naps, listening to music with swear words and watching movies where people get blown up. A little over two years ago I would drink beer and watch baseball…okay, that part hasn’t changed. Now, with the arrival of Lucy there isn’t much sleeping in, nap time is on her schedule, I end up walking around my office singing Raffi and expressing my hatred of the fucking Wiggles. (I mean, I know who they are. Isn’t that bad enough?) Now I watch cartoons (and not Simpson’s or Family Guy kind) and I get excited when my favorite show on Sprout TV’s Goodnight Show comes on (Jakers, the Irish pig.) Well, enough of the romantic ‘How Lucy Changed My Life” verse. After all, at this point two years ago I was sitting in this very house, alone, while Stacy was thousands of miles away meeting her daughter for the first time. My beginning with Lucy was still a week away.

I know, this entry is kind of the Anti-Christ for non-children-wanting readers but if I can get sucked into Lucy’s life, I am sure you all can too. She’s pretty damn cool. You name one other two year old who can sing Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer” or Jimmy Buffet’s “Margaretville.” You show me another two year old who can dance and try to sing along with “Stuck in a Moment” by U2. Find me another two year old who feels it’s her job to tell me that my coffee is hot every time she sees me with a cup of it. Yeah…Lucy’s one a gazillion but looks like everyone who knows her are the winners. (Okay, that part was kind of sappy, just deal.)

Tonight Stacy, Lucy and I will be going out for African food to celebrate her time with us.

Monday, October 22, 2007

That's why/Cause if you feel it/And if you mean it/Don't apologize

Strange - The Feeling
The line-up has been decided for the 2007 World Series – Rockies and Red Sox. It should be an interesting game nonetheless. I am a little disappointed in the tanking of the Indians. It was a very ugly way to lose a run at the Series. I am more disappointed with the fact I lost a Pride Bet against this Trust Rep in my office that the Indians would win. However, I now must put up with his crowing over the Red Sox victory. Bah humbug.

The F-Bomb
Rumor has it that Francisco Liriano will be ready for Spring Training 2008. Ah, F-Bomb, we have missed you.

Non-baseball news but nonetheless still interesting
You see, after the World Series there will be less and less basebally (my own made up word, thank you very much) things to discuss or rant about so I need a contingency plan. I will try to have a baseball posting at least once a week but I may need to pepper it with some non-baseball news.

I finally found someone who also likes the music of The Feeling. I have been pimping this band for ages and no one (I am looking at a bunch of you who read my blog daily) had taken the bait. However, there is someone out there!!! So, if you would like to join The Feeling bandwagon (membership count: 2) check them out!
Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/thefeeling

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Let the count down begin...

We are in the autumn of baseball

Thanks to an early morning call from Curlz (of Curlz & Curveballs
) I found out that the Twins released their “tentative” 2008 schedule. Home opener is “tentatively” scheduled for Monday, March 31 against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Hmm..Early start this year. Let’s hope that means it will be a looooong season (with October 2008 being active for us.) Well, moving away from forecasting…

I am bummed we won’t be playing with the Mets again this year so I could have a legitimate excuse to go to New York to watch baseball. Ya’ll know I won’t be showing my face at Yankee Stadium (even if Metsgrrl promised to protect me.)

Speaking of Metsgrrl…
How the hell do you find out about things like People magazines “Sexiest Fan?” I am rolling around my office chuckling like I have Mad Cubicle disease. So, in honor of it being funny AND the fact there is a Twins fan represented…go vote! Vote often and vote for ANYONE BUT THE YANKEE GUY! I don’t care if you think he’s the dreamiest person on earth (he ain’t no Orland Bloom) just don’t feed the bear! Alas, the Minnesota Twins guy is losing, and he’s losing big time. Give him a few more pity votes to make me (and probably his family) feel better. I mean, look at his picture. The dude obviously in line to get is Dollar Dog.

There still is baseball being played
Colorado Rockies versus ______ (Cleveland is fighting hard to fill in that blank.)

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Have a drink at your favorite bar till dark/Stumble into empty baseball park/Strike 1 and stike 2../I guess we're both out

Ah, it is time for the obligatory sappy ending. Oh man. Last year was a big disappointing finish of the season but this year was a quiet slip out of 2007.

I started this blog on January 29, 2007 full of optimism and yes, maybe a little cockiness. Who could blame me! We had a Batting Champion, MVP, Gold Glove, Cy Young and a handful of other honors. Ah, but alas…this isn’t a fairytale.

Here are a few highlights from my 2007 baseball blogging season:
· Winning our Home Opener!
· Meeting other cool baseball bloggers
· A few bad trades (yes, some people think they were good…I don’t. It’s my blog, I win.)
· New Stadium is a-coming!
· My baseball will, in case something happens to me
· The Starting Five Starting Pitchers: Santana, Bonser, Ortiz, Silva, Ponson
· The last Starting Pitchers: Santana, Slowey, Silva, Garza and Baker
· “The Boof is on Fire” can get old (two games into the season old)
· Yankees dominate the MLB headlines again (expensive pitchers, booing A-Rod, scandals, Jeter, Sheffield and Torre)
· Baby Jesus Birthday Montage
· Bert “Pitchers are the best athletes on the field.”
· My baseball birthday party
· Baby Jesus chosen as one of America’s Most Eligible Bachelors by Hollywood Extra.
· Hey, it looks like that $28,000,002 signing of Clemens worked out well.
· Ponson is out
· 445 hits on my blog on May 16 – 3,383 on October 3
· Sitting in the sweet Dorsey & Whitney law firm seats behind homeplate.
· Risa (Curlz of Curlz & Curveball) started a baseball blog.
· Baseball Blogger Meet-up
· My new quote “One good game doth no make a great pitcher.”
· All Star Game (ugly orange jerseys!)
· Bert gets flowbee-ed by Santana
· Baker Up
· Amy & I on the Jumbo Screen twice!
· Sitting two rows above our dugout
· Slowey Up
· Garza Up
· Sitting in the Suite whilst eating free food and drinking free beer
· Metsgrrl.com my favorite non-Twins baseball blog
· Castillo gets “traded” to Mets
· Cirillo gone
· My Jeep Liberty got a MN Twins tire cover
· Ortiz is out
· New stadium groundbreaking
· Starting the downhill slide in September
· Game with TBL
· Maybe Torii’s last game
· Last game against Boston RedSox