Friday, December 5, 2008

So this is Xmas/And what have you done/Another year over/A new one just begun

The only thing I got is that the Twins setting their sights on Casey Blake.

Non-baseball but no less important

Must be Santa, must be Santa, must be Santa, Santa Claus
Lucy and I headed to the wild suburbs to see Santa Claus for the first time this year. During the car ride (in between singing Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”) we practiced what Lu would asked Santa for. Our list included: Chocolate, a pony, David Cook (I really tried slipping that one in there), a guitar, treats, spray bottle. When it got time to actually meet Santa Lucy clammed up. Little bugger, doesn’t she know that is the only shot we have for getting a pony or a David Cook? Argh!

What happens on the Ghetto #5 bus stays on the Ghetto #5 bus (Unless I post it on my blog)
Last night I witnessed a HUGE black-market DVD exchange on the bus. This guy had a whole duffle bag full of the new releases (Twilight, Bond, Dark Knight…) and each one was going for $5. I was very tempted to buy a copy of Twilight but then I would have felt bad for posting photos.


In my cubicle
Me: Brr, it is fucking cold in here.
C: Put your gloves on.
Me: Oh yeah! I can totally do that. They are form-fitting.
C: That’s what she said!
Me: No! It doesn’t work that way. Fail!

In my office
Co-worker 1: So these hobos put a cross up on this path…
Co-worker 2: Hobo is not a politically correct term.
Co-worker 1: Fine. So these “miscreants” put up a cross…
Co-worker 2: Dude, seriously. Could you be any more redneck?
Co-worker 1: What are you talking about?
Co-worker 2: You and your demeaning terminology.
Co-worker 1: Fuck it. The story isn’t that funny anyways.
Me: Now it is.

Via text message - Thursday
Stacy: OMG! When I asked Lucy where you were she totally said, she’s at the bar.
Me: NO! You are lying.
Stacy: She did. I almost choked. So now she’ll probably always say it.

Via text message – Monday
Stacy: I asked Lucy what you were doing and she said “Cooperating.”
Me: Well, I am cooperating…with booze. Stop trying to get her to say “Auntie Jen’s at the Bar.”

Truefax: I order HoHo Mochas because I like saying “Ho.”
I also like ordering Falala Lattes because it makes me giggle. Alas, I actually don’t like any of those drinks. The sacrifices I make for my own amusement. I had a moment at Starbucks when I wanted to fight the whole “We call it THIS but the other guys call it THAT so we will pretend we don’t know what THAT means” scenario. Alas, I didn’t carry through with my frustration except with a story in my head.
Here is how it would go:

Overheard at Starbucks
Me: I would like a falalalalalalalalalaaaaa latte.
Barista: We don’t have those here.
Me: Oh, well. I will have a mint mocha.
Barista: A Peppermint Twist?
Me: What? Oh, that’s what you are calling it these days.
Barista: We always call it that. Me: Not in the summer.
My conscience: Give up.

Music of the Day – Trying to find the holiday spirit Edition
Hey! I almost went a whole blog entry without mentioning David Cook. Allow me this one moment of weakness.

David Cook & Neal Tiemann – Happy Xmas (War is Over)

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