Friday, January 2, 2009

I feel sick, I feel nervous/I know just what I did to deserve this/Though I know it’s not a dream

Welcome to the 2009 season of baseball
Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot happening right now but just you wait…just you wait.

Circle Me Bert waiting for the Hall to Call

At least someone is blogging: Kevin Slowey’s MLB Blog is back in action

New Baseball Resolutions
* New Lipgloss for a new season – this year’s color will be Liptini’s Vodka– how apropos don’t you think? (Courtesy of Elle)
* Mock unto others as others would mock unto you
* New Twins t-shirt
* I may cry during the Metrodome Video Montages. (The Metrodome is the only stadium I remember.)
* I will see at least one out of state game
* I will create tags for my entries so that I don’t keep bitching about it. It’s my own damn fault!

Non-baseball but no less important

2009, you are already a sassy bitch!
I celebrated New Year’s four times on December 31.
First time I shouted out Happy New Year was at 10:00 a.m. and I was in my cubicle. I was texting with Val from the Philippines and it was midnight her time. So, V, you were my first New Year’s celebration.
Second time was 9:00 p.m. when I celebrated with Lucy. I mean, shit, she’s 3 years old. You think the girl could make it until midnight. Whatever, quitters never win! :P
Third time was at 11:00 p.m. when Anderson Cooper wished me a happy new year from a stage “high above the streets” of NYC. Mmm…I’ll take an Andy Cooper New Year shout-out any day. Yes, the Silver Fox makes my heart go pitter-patter.
Finally, I waited until it was my own damn timezone and Stacy and I half-heartedly whooped HAPPY NEW YEAR! (We didn’t want to wake Lucy and well, let’s be honest…after the third time it lost a little of the glamour.)

Here are my thoughts whilst flipping between all the channels counting down:
* Ryan Seacrest is still dreamy even in a puffy jacket
* Every time Kelly Pickler spoke my left eye twitched
* Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin are probably the coolest people to hang out with on New Year’s
* Scott Weiland owns my soul. I may have even yelled to him (“him” being a pre-recorded concert on my tv) “See you in a month!” (‘cause, I will be.)
* David fucking Cook ended my New Year’s right. I enjoy how all my co-workers send me messages on Facebook saying “Ooooh, your Idol is on my tv.” Yeah, I got it. You don’t think I am prepared for this? Didn’t * you get my inner-office memo?
* The David Puddy hockey episode was on Seinfeld last night. Suhweet.

I Twittered my evening of TV mockery in case you are interested
(which I don’t blame you if you aren’t.) Here are some of the highlights:
* 9:45 p.m. Uh oh. I know way more Lionel Richie songs that I care to admit.
* 10:08 p.m. Anderson Cooper just asked Kathy Griffin if she can stop saying “pap smears”. Life is good!
* 10:23 p.m. The correspondent from New Orleans (on CNN – Andy Cooper) is going to get his ass kicked by the guys behind him. Not funny, kinda funny.
* 10:32 Ah, the drunk texts are coming in! I like being the homebase. Please remember that what you text me is for public consumption. Mmmwhwhahaha
* 10:47 p.m. Lady Gaga’s Ta-Ta’s are going to fall out of her dress whilst she is singing on Andy Cooper’s CNN show.
Vegan Joe has thrown the first punch
If any of you are friends with me on Facebook you may have noticed I was recently tagged in a photo by Vegan Joe. THIS PHOTO!

Please realize I was tagged as the person/evil warlock person circled in red. Vegan Joe of course is the hero in yellow. I responded to his tag with:
OMG! I can’t believe you tagged me as the guy dying! You KNOW how I feel about natural bodies of water!

So Joe, it is GAME ON!

Randomly Random
Come on! How can my first blog of the New Year not include a picture of David Cook? To those who are rolling your eyes (and I can name 10 of you right now) SHUT IT! I got a funny story about this. So, the guy in the background (about half of you were like “What guy? All I see if freaking David Cook”) is a Target Center Security Staff Employee. I can’t remember his name. He told me and I did an “Oh, yeah, that’s great, what’s that shiny thing over there?” sort of half-ass pay attention move. Anyways, he spent most of the time on his cell phone arguing with his Baby’s Mama about how they both cheated so that should cancel out everything. In fact, at one point he said “You cheated with my friend and that is worse than me cheating with a random girl.” You know, that argument probably wouldn’t hold up in court.

So, here is Cheaty McCheatertons and David Cook in Minneapolis (not my photo but still a good photo.)

Music of the Day
Who’s it going to be? Huh? Can you feel it? Can you guess?
Drumroll, please…

David Cook – Bar-Ba-Sol
I KNOW! I am sorry! For christs sake get off my freaking back already! I can’t NOT post this song! This song is the one that all you non-David Cook fans like (*cough*Eric*cough*)


- joe said...

Interest blog, I think you may have found a another fan. Keep up the good work.

- joe said...

Hey I know nothing is going on with the Twins this winter, is that frustrating for a MN native? I mean dont the Twins have one of the richest owners in sports...far richer than the Steinbrenner family.

- joe said...

you hear...Carl Pohlad, Twin owner passed away today.