Tuesday, January 27, 2009

They’re all in my backyard, them old cars/I love everyone that I get/Mixing gasoline with NASCAR dreams

Welcome Wagon
New(ish) blog - Twin Cities Beer & Baseball

Twins Fest or Bust
Those Girls, Twins Sisters & K-Bro wrote nice blogs about being at Twins Fest. Alas, I have not much to wax poetic about. I mean, y’all have met me before…I swear and mock.

Friday evening I braved the frigid temps and met up with Those Girls at the Metrodome. I tried to keep forcing myself to be heartfelt and reminiscent about being at the Twins Fest in The Dome. Here are my thoughts on Twins Fest:

* Those Girls are actually funnier in person than in their blog (I know, it’s hard to believe!)
* I “bought” my first baseball card. I put “bough” in quotation marks because I paid $1 to play a dice game and won a Torii Hunter card. Pretty sweet.
* Bobby Korecky Drinking Game! I just made one up!

* I bought Obama trading cards which Lucy promptly took ownership of.
* We listened to Casilla do an interview in the Diversity Section (which inspired some mocking.) I totally “That’s What She Said-ed” him during the interview (under my breath.)
* We had the World’s Worst Mini Donuts. They really broke my heart.

Non-Baseball but no less important

This is me Fangirling
Eh, I probably won’t be seeing David Cook on his tour but I will be seeing this guy!

I bought tickets to see Joel McHale in Minneapolis! I fangirl Joel McHale and The Soup pretty hardcore.

So, a funny thing happened while I was at the bar (story of my life) – Celebrity Story Ahead!
I am just going to say it out loud… I drank A LOT last night at happy hour. I have a new theory that happy hour(s) shouldn’t last longer than an average work day. I am just saying…

Anyways, during my drunkenness last night one of my peeps received a text message saying that Harrison Ford was drinking in the hotel bar across the street. Of course, I got really excited and wanted to go see Hans Solo but we were drinking and eating and couldn’t be bothered to actually leave our barstools. Conversation flowed about Hans and Calista Flockhart (who we imagined to be the size of our wine goblet stems.) The next text that came from our Hans Solo sighter said that Harrison was in town with his band. Cue shocked expressions.

Hans Solo was in a band? Since when? Why hadn’t I heard that before? I love actors who think they can sing (there’s actually too many to name here.)

I spent the rest of the night obsessing about Hans Solo being so close to me and yet so far. I went to bed (passed out, whatever) last night with thoughts of a singing Hans Solo flying through my head. I imagined his band playing thrasher metal music.

Imagine my surprise this morning when I hungoverly flipped through the entertainment section to see an announcement of Kevin Costner being in town for a tour stop with his band. KEVIN COSTNER! For a brief moment I envisioned seeing Hans Solo at one bar and then hurrying to another to see Robin Hood play. THEN IT HIT ME! During all the drunken text messages wires were crossed. Actually, wires weren’t crossed…some drunken dude couldn’t tell his epic older gentlemen apart and was calling Kevin Costner Harrison Ford. WTF Drunk Dude, WFT? So, I am sad to report that there isn’t a Hans Solo concert tonight; you will have to settle for a Kevin Costner gig.

Kevin Costner & Modern West
This line from the article made me laugh my ass off (lmao, if you will):
Come to see Costner channel his inner John Cougar Mellencamp; stay for the cougars prowling the stage looking to bite off a hunk of Robin Hood.

Seriously, I can’t make this shit up!

In conclusion: My church has a neon sign, the pews are clustered together around a scarred counter top, and the pastor “is quick with a joke or to light up your smoke”.

Also in conclusion: It is never fun to skip, frolic, and twirl into your house late at night after many hours of drinking and find your dear sweet auntie sitting there watching and silently judging you. Oh, also not as funny to wake up so horribly hung-over the next day and the first human interaction you have is Stacy singing Poison’s “Every Rose Has a Thorn”.

Music of the Day – OMG Can you Believe Kevin Costner sings Edition
Kevin Costner & Modern West – Backyard


Katie said...

Those were the worst f-ing doughnuts I have ever tasted. Frozen in the middle, burnt and smelly on the outside.

I am so sorry you missed out on the Korecky Faux-Hawk. I wish I had gotten a good picture.

Please know that I am majorly jealous of your Kostner run-in.

Baseball_Lipgloss said...

I am so sorry that your Mini Donut expectations had to be lowered so that they rivaled "What to expect when making out with Tommy Lee."

I think the name "Bobby Korecky" was uttered more times this weekend than his whole life.

Tricia said...

Oh man...I love The Soup. I'm going to have to see how much those tickets cost, and when the show is. Thanks for sharing that info.

Curveball said...

Amazing who you randomly run into at Twinsfest. But I failed to ask who the folks were besides you when our paths crossed. Standing in line all-night Friday, doing a solo run on a jampacked Saturday...Curlz demanded that I spend equal amount of time with her on Sunday that I dood standing in lines, which we did...Sunday was nice, relxaing...and saw Wayne Hattaway!