Monday, June 23, 2008

I kissed a girl just to try it/I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it/It felt so wrong/It felt so right

Curse? What f-ing curse?
Last season there was talk amongst my Land O’Cubicles that I, your loyal/witty/egotistical blogger, was cursed. The games I went to were lost. The players I talked about ended up on the DL (Disabled List for non-baseball people). The beer I bought tasted flat. Life was rough. However, the streak was broken and all was happy-go-lucky in the baseball land. So…moving on.
It appears about two weeks ago this inane chatter started again. Was Jen cursed? What has she done differently to put the Twins on a poor streak? Well, let me just tell you all (and you do know who you are) that it wasn’t me.
Here are some good things:
Two sweeps.
Twins are heading to San Diego (my birthplace, by the way.)
Catching up to White Sox.
Going to the game on Friday with an Oakland A’s fan (Amy’s co-worker.)

Here are my notes and observations from Saturday’s game:
* After realizing that the dumbass throwing peanuts was actually a co-worker trying to get my attention I stopped grumbling. Dude, an old-fashioned “Hey Jen!” would have worked just as well for getting me to look.
* I saw someone who looked familiar walking by our seats and I almost shouted out hi but then realized it was blogger/sports guy Aaron Gleeman and yes I may read his blog but I don’t know him in the way which involves me going “HI!”
* Blackburn did a great job pitching. I know, we all know that because of the scoreboard numbers but it was great watching him and singing “Blackburn singing in the dead of night/Take these broken wings and learn to fly” live at the Metrodome. Amy threatened that if I didn’t shut the hell up she would move to another seat. By the way, totally an empty threat.
* I kept a complete and accurate scorecard. Yes, I am proud of myself as I have been self-teaching myself to score games.
* Amy and I had a very detailed conversation about weird contraptions that are being peddled right now. Examples: Pedi-egg, powered mascara wand, and a face buffing system. Now those are ridiculous unlike my dream contraption…Pancake Puff Maker!

Newest baseball fan
Jan brought her nephew Alex to his first baseball game!

Non-baseball but no less important

Party of One
I get asked all the time (okay, but like two people) what I do to relax when I actually stop talking/drinking/socializing. I like to sit outside in the sunshine and try to turn my vampire-like pasty white skin to a lovely eggshell white. I drink beer, eat whatever is pre-made in the house and dip my feet in the kiddie pool. I am juggling a few different books but right now my highest priority goes to Candy Girl by Diablo Cody (writer of Juno.) It so fitting in many ways…this book is her story of living in Minneapolis and working as a stripper. Okay, wait! Not fitting in THAT way.

Lessons to be learned, again and again
Ah, it is time once again to make sure to always wear a bra, not have on pajamas during daylight and not look overly unfortunate. You see…it is campaign time. That means the cute hipster college guys are prowling the neighborhood drumming up votes for their candidates. Yeah, I had the first one of the season last week and I was totally caught off guard. Besides the previously mentioned oddities I also had a scrunchie in my hair. Yes, you read that right…a mother fucking scrunchie. Sometimes I use scrunchies; they don’t give my hair the weird hair-band mark.

Music of the Day
So, once again I bow down to the hype and pomp to get sucked into yet another song. Let’s see…I first heard this song last weekend (at a strip club in Duluth) and have been humming the tune ever since. At first I tried to resist the lure and charm but now I am finally surrendering. The song has a catchy beat. Don’t judge lest you be judged (for your Ace of Base CD.)

Kate Perry – I Kissed a Girl


Tricia said...

Mother f-ing scrunchie! That made me laugh out loud. You are so good at swearing, and I mean that as high praise. I'd like to drop some f-bombs once in a while, but I think I'd just sound mean and angry.

Baseball_Lipgloss said...

Yeah, I have a baaaad potty mouth. I think it makes me sound like a trashy sailor stuck in a world of cubicles but hey...what the hell! We only live once :)

Ann said...

Love it!
A 'scrunchie' and "Ace of Base" referrence in the same post

linda said...

That is too funny.