Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Oh sweet Jesus if you’re listening/keep me ever close to you/As I’m stumblin’ tumblin’ wonderin’

OOookay, don’t shoot. I have been on the baseball blogging D.L. for a few days. Parties, booze and my otherwise rock and roll lifestyle have gotten in the way. Yeah, I wish. Anyways, I just wanted to give you more time to chuckle over the funny photos from the previous entry.

Oh, before I get to the good stuff I want to give a shout out to two new blog readers. You see, in my Land O'Cubicles there are those who are totally jealous of my mad blogging skillz (yes, with a "z") and have expressed concern that they are being pummeled in my blog by said mad skillz. So Eric, Jan (maybe even Kim) welcome. Remember, what happens in the blogosphere stays in the blogosphere. (Unless I declare it a free-for-all.)

Okay, on to business. Here’s what I got for you…

The New York Yankees Series
I try my damndest to stay away from the Metrodome during the Yankees because I channel an inner Werewolf of London personality that only comes out when the Yankees are in town (or on television.) It isn’t a pretty yellow-eyed beast I am talking about. It is a snarling, snapping, making highly irrational comments and bringing up the jeer “Steeeeeeroids” one too many times. I even find myself turning on my fellow-basebally friend, Amy.
What? You think Jeter is an attractive male? How COULD you think that? You are a traitor?
Yeah, that’s the kind of irrationality I am talking about. So, in order to soothe my inner-savage beast I stay away. It is for all our own good.
Alas, the fates tempted the leashed dog and I ended up going to the game on Friday. You see, Stevie B (a friend from way back) invited me to the game and bribed me with fancy law firm seats. So, I went and I sat behind Baby Jesus and I grumbled.

I had a few margaritas (why hadn’t I found this stand before!) and a Helmet Sundae (which is based on Baby J’s catcher’s helmet.) That helped a little.
I also sat next to a cute, funny guy in a business suit. That helped a little more.
Stevie B was a little ADD when it came to watching baseball so we gossiped a lot. That helped a bunch more.
The Twins had a great few innings. That made everything okay. AND that is when it went downhill.

Not going to beat a dead horse
* Blackburn got smacked in the face with a pitch
* Boof is now in the Bull Pen.
* Baby Jesus is channeling Paul Bunyan with the scruff but he will never look as ruggedly handsome as my Top 5, David Cook. (Obsessed? Yes.)

Okay, enough trying to keep up with the business side of the stick.

Non-baseball but no less important

Monday night Happy Hour
And just like that I am dead-tired. I blame the cucumber infused vodka, cherry whiskey and white wine.
I also blame…
* My Monday Night Happy Hour crew for being enablers.
* The cute bartender for paying us extra special attention.
* The Cougars sitting at the end of the bar entertaining us
* The guy bragging about this $300 Dolce & Gabbana flip-flops

Presenting….randomocity (yes, a made-up word)

Photographic evidence that I am certifiably nuts
Ye Can’t Get Me Lucky Charms
I found this hat in the hallway and it made me laugh (aided by a few white wines.)
If you think the hat looks bad we can only wonder what the leprechaun who was wearing it must look like.

Crossword Hide & Seek
In order to rid society of their accusations that I am cheating at my book of crossword puzzles I have taken drastic measures. I have ripped out the answer key from the back of the book and hidden them so that I don’t have easy access. Yes, my loyal blog readers, I can do crossword puzzles without cheating. In fact, I am pretty damn good at them. An average puzzle takes me 15 – 20 minutes. (Of course it is a book of super-easy-Helen-Keller-could-do-them puzzles.)

The potholes ate my car
Well, they almost did. My alley way was riddled with giant gaping, cavernous potholes that would rock my Jeep back and forth. I was pretty creative in avoiding them (but yet to have mastered the trick driving on two wheels.) However, the lovely City of Minneapolis finally came and filled them in. I was so excited I took pictures! Voila!

She’s a Lady
Speaking of my Jeep…here are a few photos of my awesome spare-tire-wheel-cover-thing and my bitchin’ air freshener (which has a scent of “freshly swabbed deck.”)

Half-pint is coming to Minneapolis!
Yeah baby! Little House on the Prairie is hitting the stage and will be debuting in Minneapolis. Oh, and the kicker? Melissa Gilbert (television version of Laura Ingalls aka Half-pint) will be playing the role of Ma Ingalls. Sweet!!! I know Perez Hilton scoffed at it but we Minnesotans take our LHOTP (Little House on the Prairie) very seriously. So says the gal that has taken numerous trips to Walnut Grove, Minnesota to enjoy the Banks of Plum Creek and LHOTP Historical Museum. I even have my own bonnet, back off!

My new motto: “Why dirty a glass, drink straight from the bottle.”

Music of the Day – American Idol Edition (yeah, I am still obsessed with this, deal.)
Everyone knows by now that the one and only time I ever voted was to vote for David Cook. He is my abso-fave (absolutely favorite.) However, I do have a weak spot for Jason Castro (as does Stacy, Kris –of the Monday Night HH and Amy.)
Jason Castro – Travelin’ Through


Katie said...

No offense to Amy, who seems perfectly lovely, but Jeter is the sorriest excuse for for a man I can think of. He's just plain grody.

And he is the ONLY baseball player who will EVER make me say: "Ugh, his pants are WAY too tight."

linda said...

Good post!Love all of the pictures and comments.

Tricia said...

Oh my! Where do you go in the Dome to purchase a margarita? Do they have flavored ones? Yeah, I like the fruity drinks.

Tricia said...

Jen...I just read your comment on our blog. Sometime in the near future I will do a mini KC blog posting for you. How's that? Or you can send me an email with specific questions: mntwinssisters@yahoo.com

Ann said...

Did I hear "cucumber infused vodka"? Yum!!! Is that when you brake out your LHOTP bonnet?

Music talk now. I've been listening to Blood Red Shoes. "It's Getting Boring By The Sea" is my favorite so far. Any thoughts?

k-bro said...

Hey Jen, I saw your comment on Twins Sisters blog that you're going to KC in August. I am too! It'll be my second trip there; it's such a great place!


Amy said...

It's the eyes. I think Jeter has pretty hazel/green eyes.