Last night I cheated on Baseball went to a football game. Yes, football. That game where they wear very tight, shiny pants and have a hundred people on their bench.
It felt weird to be in the Dome and seeing the ugly turf painted with white stripes and a giant Vikings head in the center. I kept pointing out the pitcher’s mound, first, second and third bases.
It felt odd to walk on the plaza and see the sea of purple and gold (instead of red and blue.)
It felt outlandish to see the parking prices range from $20 - $40 around the dome.
It was peculiar to see the giant tent full of Vikings souvenirs and apparel (even pink stuff!)
It felt bizarre to see those Helga hats (Vikings hats with horns and blonde braids.)
It felt wacky to be singing Skol Vikings instead of Take Me Out to the Ball Game.
It felt uncanny to not know any names of the players instead of all the names, ERA, pitching rotation, nicknames, hometown of the baseball players.
Thanks to my favorite male cousin for giving me a free beer.
Gracias to the fine people at the Chili’s food stand outside of the Dome for the free southwestern egg rolls and mozzarella cheese sticks. We don’t know why this manna of food was bestowed upon us but we ate it.
Danke to the manager in my office who gave me the free tickets to the game.
Merci to the band playing on the plaza for having awesomely 80’s hair and not knowing how ridiculous you look when you are playing and winking towards the ladies.
5 comments:
What! A travesty! I was counting on your report of the groundbreaking ceremony! Damn!
NAUGHTY BEAR!
I know! I am very sorry I didn't go, although Baby Jesus, Guerrier and a few other Twins were at the Vikings game.
PS: My report wouldn't have been that good since I was drinking from 4:00 p.m. and on. Darn beer...makes me less intelligent (the morning after.)
omg. i LOVE those egg rolls. when we go to the suburbs we totally head for chili's (since there are none in nyc)
Wouldn't you know it, the promise of a few beers combined the sinking of the Twins in Cleveland, and you easily become a potential FOOTBALL FAN! (You do know that Minnesota doesn't have a championship professional football team, right?!) Instead of seeing where baseball should be played someday in what was a sod-en parking lot covered with green grass that gave Bud's hairpiece a run for the rug contest, you try to focus on a field of white lines that all but obscure that baseball games are played (miserably when Garza pitches) in the Dome!
Just don't ever let me hear of you owning one of those #1 styro-finger-hands!
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