12 Days of Christmas in the ‘Hood
Each year I create my own version of 12 Days of Christmas...be warned, there is blatant use of non-Christmasy things!
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me
… One roll of Crime Scene Do Not Cross tape
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true my love gave to me
… Two shootings on the bus
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true my love gave to me
… Three members of the Bloods (gang) arrested
On the 4th day of Christmas my true my love gave to me
… Four scents in the Southside perfume (chicken wings, Drakkar for Men, Marijuana, Mad Dog 40-40)
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
…The Ghetto Number Five
On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
… Six Chicken Wings for $1 (King o’ Wings Shack)
On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
… Seven suburban co-workers educated about designer LSD drugs
On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
… Eight ratty fake fur trench coats (that need a good combing)
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
… Nine pirated DVD’s for sale
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
… Ten babies’ mamas
On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
…Eleven Metro Transit police on one bus
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
…Twelve Shot Spotters in a three block radius
My Christmas Cubicle Reading
‘Twas the day before Christmas Break
And the office was quiet as a grave
Only the die hard employees were around
Due to boss absences mischief was abound
The remaining workers were snug in their cubicles
Watching the clocks for ‘time to go’ visuals
With Cookies being shared
And Christmas Music in the air
Would four o’clock here get here?
Now Clients, now Computer, now Telephone and Ergonomic Keyboard!
On Co-workers, on Bell Ringers, on Sugar Free Candy and Starbucks
From the IDS Building to South Minneapolis
Now go away, go away, go away all!
Alas, it was only noon and many hours were missing
It was time to invent some office games to keep busy
There was Chair Spinning and Office Supply Treasure Hunt
My team was losing it was time to punt (nice rhyme, eh?)
Four o’clock came and we sprang from our adjustable chairs
Away we flew like we hadn’t a worry or care
But they heard me exclaim with glee
Happy Holidays to all and to all a good day off
After all we still have to be Politically Correct now don’t we.
And to finalize my Video Advent Calendar….
Video Advent Calendar – Today is the day!!!
From my previous post you may be able to tell I am having a hell of a time finding that good old Christmas spirit. So, in hopes of unburying it from my cold, dead heart I give you…Alvin and The Chipmunks. I was the prime age for these guys when it was popular 15/20 years ago.
Alvin and the Chipmunks – Christmas Music Melody
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2 comments:
So help me out here, is there a way that your post on the twelve days of Christmas in the hood could be interpreted as NOT racist? Because, you know, I enjoy your blog - especially during the baseball season - and I'm having a tricky time figuring out how to interpret that posting in a way that flattering to the author.
Demetri,
I would hope that this entry would not be seen as racist and I am sorry if I have given any offense. This is just an entry that highlights the year on the #5 bus route.
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